It lurks, it waits, it always strikes when you are going some where. At night, during the day, never in the same place twice.


Suddenly you see stars, your brain is on fire, every rational thought exits your mind and you are consumed in the searing pain second only to childbirth, of stubbing your toe.

No toe is safe.

The range of damage is anywhere from actual breakage to a couple of minutes of excruciating agony with no visible damage. But the psychic harm, now that is another thing. It lingers, making us fearful for days.

We can do it twice in a week, and then not for two years. We cannot prepare for it, or guard against it. Only the bed bound are relatively safe. It’s a perk of paralysis, one of the few ones no doubt.

We can’t resort to “watching where we are going” because that just endangers the other end of our anatomy, the head. There is thus no way of growing more proficient in avoiding it.

We have to trust in the gods, karma, or good luck to see us through.

Our reactions? Oh that’s where true individuality comes in. Some hop on one foot, pointing in despair. Others screech unintelligibly. Others curse all manner of things, including the female who bore them. Others are stoic, gritting teeth and suppressing any sound–these are all anal retentives of course. Women cry, and men suck it up, aware that this still isn’t as bad as testicular assaults.

I like to watch someone who has stubbed their toe, and when they are coherent enough to hear me, I tell them, that “gee, just think of how many more times that will happen in your lifetime?” This is not met with the amusement I hoped would offset their pain. Instead I usually get some things said that are not appropriate to relate here.

But admit it, secretly, you and I are ever so glad it was the other guy and not us.

The first time it happens, we have lost our innocence. No more belief in a benign world. No, we learn the ugly truth–nature is out to get us, or at least the idiot who moved the chair to a new location. Reason enough to NEVER engage in re-arranging furniture!

So, see? Your day isn’t so bad, unless that is, you have stubbed your toe. In that case, well, we sympathize, we really do, but we are glad it was you and not us. It hasn’t happened to me today–so far.

**add your fun stories of stubbings if you have a mind to! We can all use the laugh.