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Everyone on planet Earth has heard or read the story of the Orca who apparently inadvertently killed its trainer. Well, the American Family Association, well known right wing Christian loonie tunes organization, has done itself proud once again.

Their solution to the sad affair? Stone the whale! Yep, biblically that’s what it says to do you know. Logistics are yet to be worked out, as to exactly how one can accomplish this effectively, and well, most of us will have to check our storage facilities to see if we have have the right size rocks, but no matter. It’s the right thing to do. God wants the whale dead. Any peon can see that. I mean it was all her fault that she was captured and imprisoned and made to sing for her supper. Her fault that she can’t disassociate her genetic inclinations from the selfish needs of public entertainment!

Will somebody do me a favor and inform these bozos that they need to call themselves something other than Christian? How bout, Followers of Crazy Dude in the Sky? I’m so tired of being held in association with these clowns by all the atheists in Merika.

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Tip Time! For us poor heteros whose gaydar is not that great–we have a help. The one who squawks the loudest is most assuredly the closeted gay blade.

Proof? Well, one California State Senator, Roy Ashburn, is the latest in a long line of public deniers but private doers of the nasty. Seems the homophobic Mr. Ashburn, was recently pulled over for DUI, after having just left a “notoriously” gay bar.

Said driver, who had an unnamed “male” in the passenger seat, was quite contrite of course, hoping that his friends, family and supporters would see fit to “understand.”

This is getting to be a thing with Republicans it seems, as well as the right wing religious among ’em. Dudes, please, uncloset thyself and stop this self-flagellation. Like me and Christianity, you need your own name–Uptight Rethugs Who Get Hot over Penises. Just sayin’ ya know.

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Sadly, what more need be said about this? It’s so close to being true as to make a grown man weep, and a grown woman swear. Or vice versa.

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Chicken Little was racing around the Network Outlets yesterday, all in the usual tither over the what happened at JFK the other day. Seems an air traffic controller brought his kid to work and fed him a few lines that the kid was allowed to issue to departing flights. The pilots seemed to enjoy the kid’s efforts.

Not so the FAA and other properly “appalled” types. I mean, mainstream media just loves a story like this. It takes up half of their day, all with NO work involved. I mean I was near to getting the vapors, just realizing how close we came to utter catastrophe in the skies over Merika.

I’m for stoning the man. I guess we can’t be looking for our military generals to bringing their kids to work anytime soon heh? I mean, how ’bout letting the kids push the big red button on one of those bunker buster bombs? Or maybe zeroing in for the coup ‘d etat  on one of those Al Qaeda higher ups? Would we still be squealing this loud?

Yeah, so it was not the smartest thing in the world to do, but really do you seriously think it’s more dangerous than the untold shenanigans that probably go on in those places every day? Boozing and drugs and lack of sleep, and going to take a leak at a crucial moment? I doubt it.

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This last is simply delicious. Being a thinking Christian, I’m among those that can poke a certain amount of fun at religion in general. You see, we have faith, which we UNDERSTAND is not proof, and perhaps not even remotely close to the truth of things. So we figure God doesn’t mind a little fun which may in the end not even be at his expense at all.

Enter one Christopher Hutchins, bain of the right wing religious nuttery. Mr. Hutchins has re-written, and/or questioned the present day usage of the so-called Ten Commandments.

It appears in Vanity Fair, and that in itself is endorsement enough, since nobody dishes the gossip better in the entire world.

So do take a look. Much like (only in degree mind you) William F. Buckley, you may disagree vigorously with Mr. Hutchins, but you can admire his utterly snappy style of saying it. I sure did.

And if you find Mr. Hutchins words offensive, well we can resort to stoning of course.

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And just to finish things off, the Contrarian advises that this clear statement of truth should set all the PETA loving, vegetarian touters to shame.

If God had a wanted us to be vegetarians (which according to the bible literalists, he did for a short time at least, before we screwed it all up with the apple and all that chit), he would not have made animals out of meat!

So there ya go. You have your arguments. So head out troops and spread the truth among the land  of  trailer livin’, NASCAR fumin’, bible thumpin’  heathens of Merika. And that be USA and that’s spelled with U and well U know what that means!

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