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If you regularly peruse a number of blogs, or heaven forbid, watch any of the mainstream media, then you are filled to the gills with explanations of the debacle in the Haaaabor. That’s Massachusetts talk.

There are parodies of all sorts, jugular distorting cries for  revenge, and all manner of “analysis” guaranteed to ‘splain it all to ya.

I think Jon Stewart came closest when he parodied Obama’s interview with George Steph. Fundamentally, the wonder Messiah misunderstood the Merikan folk.

Yes, even those of us who are relatively well educated, of sound mind and having souls, were duped into thinking that the great Obama had the magic to actually accomplish what we knew we all needed. We believed. Oh most of us knew it would not be as easy as we hoped, but we believed it would happen. Now? oh, we have regained our senses such as they were and are.

Talk logically with adult words? This was thought to be such a novel idea that surely it would work. America did not build the greatest house since the one Ruth built with nothing. We must have some basic innate intelligence, while rusted shut by years of neglect, would awaken to the melodious tones of one Barack H. Obama.  We would hear the logic, we would understand the progression of  if this then that. And we would “do the right thing.” And if there were those who had some vested interest in not doing it, well we would shame/threaten/make fun of, all those too.

But no, we were too optimistic, naive?, or just plain not evil enough to see the truth. Merika is NOT logical, intelligent, or even particularly good. It has been corrupted to a degree that may not be recoverable. We, I admit, give like there is no tomorrow in times of tragedy, but that seems to be our salve to our “faith” and then it”s back to lookin’ out for number uno.

Let me enumerate a few “facts.”

  • We watch television shows like “Ax Men” and “Ice Road Truckers”.
  • We spend most of our disposable income on big screen tv’s to watch this swill on, along with game systems and games.
  • We try to exercise by playing virtual tennis in our living room.
  • Close to half the country doesn’t believe in science, unless it be the microwave, said big screen HD tv, or computers, cars, ad nauseum other devices. Nearly half of us believe in creationism and a flat earth.
  • The average person cannot correctly name the three branches of government.
  • We hold with regularity opinions that are directly contradictory to others. Case in point, the teabagger who said “no bank bailouts” and then said “support free markets”. Do you need be Einstein to see the contradiction?
  • People actually vote for a candidate based on who would be the best bud at the bar with ya. Sharing a beer is the best way to evaluate a president, doncha know?
  • Most citizens can’t pass the test given to new prospective citizens.
  • We murder people in the name of “justice” and don’t consider it “cruel and unusual.”
  • We give corporations citizenship “personhood” while we don’t (not that I disagree on this) give it to biological embryos who become human beings.
  • I get more hits on my blog for inserting the names of Johnny Depp or Adam Lambert into it than all the discussions I have regarding health care, evolution, and poverty combined.
  • Fully 1/3 of our youth are obese and given to sedentary pursuits. We are falling far behind in math and science so they can’t be reading science books.
  • We are the most powerful military machine yet assembled, yet we are far behind most of the civilized nations in infant mortality, and services granted automatically to citizenry by their government. Meaning health care, housing, education, and the like.
  • We are the most self-reporting “religious” people, yet we house the world’s largest array of prisoners, execute them with regularity, love our guns, are homophobic, sexist, and ethnically racist to extreme levels.
  • We to a great degree hate intellectuals largely because we are both jealous and don’t understand the big words.
  • We have the attention span of gnats, and demand constant “feeding” lest we shuck it all and go off following the next feel good guru whose name might be Palin, or Hannity.
  • We have a perverted sense of history, gleaned from a lousy primary education which was intended to support our imperialism and keep us as good lambs with “proper patriotism” and basically law abiding proclivities. We are not supposed to “rock the boat.”
  • We suck at the public teat of big business by being the world’s best consumers all the while being gleefully raped by said corporations. A perfect symbiosis of must have product coupled with bull crap rhetoric is eaten up with the chicken wings at a good NASCAR event.

In other words, we reap what we sow, we get what we deserve, we are being called upon to pay the piper. It’s enough to make a sane person insane.

So, my suggestion to Obama. Stop with the adult talk. You gotta get down brother and preach to the masses who are holding a taco in one hand, while wiping the grease from their mouth on their sleeve. Analogize to Jack Bauer, they will GET that. Talk about Jesse James, they will relate. Talk about the sweet joy of drawing a bead on that soft spot behind the shoulder of that buck innocently munching your corn drop while you sit warm and cozy in your blind with the high powered scope aching to be utilized. (Leave the carcass, just take the antler rack for show–it will look mighty fine to the boys on the wall of the “family room.”)

I know you can do it Obama. Just dumb it down. Then we can maybe get it.

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