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Most everyone knows the story of how Jesus predicted that Peter would deny him three times before the cock crowed. And sure enough, Peter, when asked if he knew Jesus, shook his head and exclaimed, “I did not know the man.”
Something akin to that is happening in GOP land these days. People are furiously removing bumper stickers and old yard signs from their property, lest they find crowds of people standing around and pointing, and of course laughing hysterically.
I guarantee if you go up to that co-worker tomorrow, the one who used to try to convince you to vote for McCain last fall, and ask him what he thinks “his” party is doing? Well, he will deny, deny, deny, claim he is an independent, just playing devil’s advocate, and is “certainly not a Republican.” How could you ever have gotten that idea?
Republicans are an endangered species, and there is even a medical condition now that seems to be attacking only Republican Governors across the land. The NEJM has the symptoms. You may want to take a look if you have any intention of even being close to one, since we don’t know at this point how it’s transmitted.
How this all got started is anyone’s guess. But things have definitely gone into bizarro land. No more the usual infidelities and money scandals we’ve become accustomed to. Naw, too tame in this new century. Now they add to their indiscretions, of whatever type, by losing the ability to speak coherently.
Things started to get noticeable with Governor Sanford who went off to Argentina for an “assignation” with his lady love, all the while letting the rest of the world think he was a hiking in the woods.
The Governor, caught dead in his lie, called the proverbial press conference and fessed up, in a rambling sort of way. He then proceeded to apologize to everyone, again, and again, and again. Word has it he even waited for the the cleaning crew to arrive at the office to apologize to them.
Of course, he apologized to his wife. But then he called more press conferences and went on at length as to how he couldn’t get his honey out of his head. He then talked about all the extra times he had seen her, and finally how it was no ordinary fling, but rather the “real” deal, them being soul mates and all.
Michael Jackson conveniently died, pushing him off the top news spot, and he CONTINUED to belabor his teenage angst. Which all seems to cut against the possibility that his marriage can at this point be “fixed.” Finally Jon Stewart screamed! “ENOUGH.”
And then, of course, Sanford gets another chance to SHUT UP, when dear Sarah, the Moosey hunter and sometime Governor, decides it’s time to really out do the meanderings of said Sanford and go one better with her own press conference of stream of conscience remarks.
You no doubt have read and heard all this already so I won’t bore you with the details. She’s a metaphor girl, our Sarah, and she dished out plenty of them on Friday. I like the fish one best myself.
The last couple of days have been filled with ideas, plots, and scenarios that somehow explain this fluff ball of a intellect. My favorite is Bill Kristol, who no doubt thinks he discovered her, and pushed her on McCain. He hasn’t a clue why she did it, but she’s “sly like a fox” and somehow this is all designed to win the Presidency in 2012.
Plenty of others suggest that a scandal is about to explode, but we can’t talk about that, cuz Moose mama claims she’s gonna sue bloggers who infer she’s well, scandalous. She claims her entire family was in favor of this abdication of responsibility. Why they would be, who could tell, but part of the family apparently was unaware. Todd called his daddy and asked him to be there, but never told him why. Dad couldn’t make it and was stunned to learn that Sarah was throwin’ in the towel.
Anyway, the Contrarian just loves Sarah now. She shoved Jacko off the pedestal, and finally put Foxy Noise and the other cable channels back onto the scent of more interesting prey. So I gotta thank her for that. The Contrarian was gettin’ a tad pissy if you get my drift. He’s back to being a happy camper and life in the meadow is once again blissful.
Still if I ever run into the Northern Princess of Dumb, I’ll probably forget to thank her for that. Just continue to marvel that it can walk and talk at the same time. It surely can, and I still am not sure why.
Existential Ennui 