Atheists Take Heart!

Once again, we are reminded that we are better most of the time than our religions. Or at least some of them. It seems that researchers at the Pew Institute can again report that Americans by and large believe that good folks go to heaven without regard to their religious affiliation. And even the non-believer, stands a good chance of getting the shock of a lifetime, or deathtime as the case may be and meeting his Maker in the heavens.

Evangelists, those right wing cuties, were in a tither over this result, and so Pew did it again, being even more careful not to mislead the thoughtless public. Again, the same result. And, people did not limit their largess in hope to just the major or minor Christian faiths. They said that folks who are goodly in behavior regardless of their affiliation were so blessed. Yep, and even those ungodly folks the nonbelievers stood a good chance as well.

While many of our mainline faiths tend to point out that they are probably the exclusive venue for transport to heavenly paradise, we the actual congregation, seem to think otherwise. This is good news to God no doubt, who reads these polls with a tad of cynicism no doubt. Jesus, is slapping hands among the saints and saying “I told ya so, these folks are a damn sight smarter than expected.”

It seems that people who meet nice people tend to think that it would be, well criminal if not unfair if God let such silly things as denominations and liturgical differences define who would suffer in the sulfur and brimstone and those who won’t. I mean if Gandhi can’t make it into heaven, what hope is there for me? American’s are generous like that.

Better yet, 61% think that the Bible is something other than the “literal” word of God. Most have kinda figured that God could write way better than the bible if he were so inclined. They can see it as inspired maybe, but definitely the work of human hands. That’s a good thing too in my estimation.

It all goes to show you that in religion, as in most things, people are way smarter than the folks who tend to want to lead them. It is food for thought, and might convince you that your voice is valuable out there in whatever arena you care to join. You may know more than you think!

Dick and Jane and Spot

Karl Rove says it’s true, and well, that ought to be enough for anybody right? I mean, if he says so, it’s so. The fact that this Bushonian universe is about to wink out of existence on January 20, is of no consequence. The law is the law until the 20th, and truth is relative as they all say.

You wonder just what in the hell I mean doncha? Well, okay. Peruse the Internet journalism far and wide and all the talk is about Karl’s article in the Wall Street Journal yesterday. As if we ever thought otherwise! It seems he needed to remind us that Chimpy our impish almost gone Prez is a real reader. But you knew that no doubt.

It seems that our boy genius Karl, chief architect of winning elections, now debunked, tells us that he and created wonder boy Georgie Porgie have been engaged in a yearly reading contest. Karl of course, wins them, but chimpy doesn’t do badly at all, reading upwards of 95 real bound books in the last year of the game. Yeppers, real books I say, written by real writers.

Now if that has set your mind to reeling, I shouldn’t wonder. We were under the impression that said Bush in charge was not a reader per se, but rather enjoyed having the bulk of his information handed to him verbally. We are told that parades of aides and others sycophants sauntered into the egg shaped womb of Bush decision and daily regurgitated their “news” much as a mother bird sticks her beak down the throat of her chatty kiddoes belching up the tasty morsels of whatever bug or worm was recently ingested.

Not so, not so says our Rovian explainer. Bush can read right well all by his self, and can, without a great deal of help, actually figure out the meaning of said sentences and learn a thing or two all, as I said, by his self without even Cliff notes. Yes, you heard it here, and I only report the truth as, well as is given me!

I hazard to say, this must be taken with a grain of salt, but only  a grain as it were. We are, even by Bushonian definition, deep in the tar pits of revisionist history now, with plenty of Bush hangers on pounding the pavement attempting to prove their worth to kith and kin as they seek new employment. It is to their benefit to make the bumbling primate appear erudite as it were.

“Is it not true, sir, that you willingly spent eight years working for a person (and I use that term ever so loosely) who is wont to use books as doorstops and kindling for the White House fireplace?” “Nay, nay, tis a lie, ” they screech, “I remember distinctly seeing him with a book in hand, and one or two close by on a table. I snuck a peek once, and indeed, embossed on the inside cover was “To George, from Mother.”

“What kind of book was it, sir?” “Why Dick was on the cover, and I recall a dog. It must no doubt been a biography of Nixon featuring Checkers the friendly dog. Hmmm, I don’t know who Jane was, but I’m sure she was on the cover too. Indeed, I think I get the picture.

If it pleases the prince of dull to think he’s a reader, by all means, let the delusion go on. Nobody cares Georgie, we just are counting down the last days. Perhaps you might contact the NYTimes Sunday Magazine. They might have an opening for a book reviewer.  Seein’ as how you, ya know, read all the time. Pity you took up the hobby so late in life.