Tags
Okay, at the risk of ticking off tons of people, let me just say it. OPRAH!!!! Shut the bleep up will ya!
Let me explain my sordid affair with Ms. Winfrey, so that you know from where I come from. Then see if you do not agree.
Once upon a time in another time and place I too counted myself among the growing legions of fans who let nary a word that the high priestess of chat uttered fall on deaf ears. No, I listened to her wisdom like all the other lemmings and followed her advice. “Oprah said,” peppered my conversations, at least socially if not professionally. What happened to change all that? What happened that turned me from a loyal sycophant to a declared protester? I shall explain.
As I said, I watched Oprah a good deal in the early years. I often taped her show so that I could watch it when I returned home from work. I found her civilized, in a world where most talk show hosts were going the way of sensationalism and goofy sex shows, replete with transvestite family men and Dominatrixes. Oprah was refreshing, actually having valuable experts and stories that touched millions.
But, of course, with fame comes the testimonials, of which Ms Winfrey apparently got by the bucket load. You know what I mean, e-mails and snail mail all attesting that but for Oprah and this show or that, a life would have been lost or ruined. Thousands wrote to thank the diva of day time for saving them in the nick of time, and turning their lives around.
The problem with such accolades it seems to me, is that the person begins to think of themselves as somehow necessary to the world. Much like bloggers do! (Note the short post I made yesterday, advising why I was not posting a full essay. Of course, my legions would worry should I not post, I had to advise everyone of why!) Self-importance seems to follow and certainly did, in my opinion in the wake of Ms. Winfrey’s success.
I started to have difficulties with her, in the year of her “spiritual” adventure. Usually once a week she brought forth someone who is well known in the area. Gary Zukov, Deepak Chopra, and a group of others came on to share their experiences and hints to a better more serene life through various spiritual practices.
I personally loved these segments and looked forward to them. An unfortunate thing started to happen however. No sooner did the guest start to speak than they were interrupted by Oprah’s “explanation of what they meant.” She soon began giving her own examples. They, gracious beings that they were, smiled, remained quiet, and, well, in the end, I seldom got much if any information from them at all. It was simply Oprah’s version of what they meant.
Oprah you see had become the expert. I began noticing that this happened on every episode. She was the expert, whatever the topic might be. She had begun buying her own hype. I began to shy away from watching her, but so far, was not angry so much as just perturbed.
Then, one day, I saw something that flipped me out. First let me say this. I am not a person to begrudges anyone their wealth. Oprah has worked hard no doubt, and deserves the riches she has amassed. I do draw the line at what I call “wretched excess” however. I admit this is a personal line I draw, but nonetheless, I think I speak for many. It’s one thing to be wealthy, it’s another thing to think of money as nothing but a unending source of opportunity to splurge on any stupid thing that comes around.
Here is what happened. One day, I flipped on the show, and found Oprah talking about her eyebrows. Yes eyebrows. Did you know she found the most marvelous plucker on the face of the earth? Yes indeed! Alas, the plucker lived and worked in LA. Not to worry, Oprah jumped a plane and flew there for this extraordinary experience. And at the bargain price of only $2000 an eyebrow! Yes, indeed. No I don’t know if there is a discount for unibrows!
That to me, is wretched excess; proof that said person has crossed over into the land of the super-out-of-touch humanity wherein said person can no longer relate to the rest of us. We are but lesser creatures who much be attended with advice, and certain charity, but we are no longer on the same playing field any longer. Oprah was now living in the rarefied world of the elite of all elite, the super duper duper rich.
Thus, she had no more to say to me. She cannot begin to remember it seems the world I live in, and the one she once inhabited. We are strangers, sharing only a final definition of homo sapien sapien. But we are as unlike as I am to the Sherpa guide of the Himalayas. We might well be from different planets.
Next, some months later, I happed upon the “My favorite things” episode. Not announced ahead of time, the lucky audience receives every single item that Oprah touts as a must have in your life. The book, the candle, the sweater, you name it. Oprah has spoken and it is the best. And if you happen to be in the audience that day, you too get one.
Well, have you ever seen one? Enough embarrassment for ya? Grown women squealing like stuck pigs, crying and hugging, all because they have the latest robotic floor sweeper! The screaming is deafening. This was well before the famous car giveaway. I was well in the anti-Oprah camp by then.
Speaking of said car giveaway. What a hoax. I mean really, do you think I am stupid? Most of the poor women who won cars never drove them home, ever. Why? Because they could not afford the local, state and federal taxes on them. Duh. Such is the lot of most game winners. There are companies that are in the business just to buy your “won junk” because you can’t afford the taxes. They settle with you, and give you some small amount of money after taking that item off your hands. Ain’t his fun?
But what prompted this latest rant, for really I pay virtually no attention to the talk show diva any more, was this. After at least three failed attempts, by my count (goodness knows there may be more), it seems Ms. Winfrey is again fighting the bulge. Yep, She has, horrors, gained 40 pounds! With a inauguration coming up, just what is one to wear, when the designed gown, not yet made, probably won’t fit!!!!!
Now let me get this straight. This woman has lost weight three to four times. She has a personal chef and a personal trainer. She has whatever exercise medium she enjoys in whatever location she chooses to have it. She has access to every expert on the planet. AND SHE CANNOT CONTROL HER WEIGHT!!!!!!!!!!
I say this not in criticism. I am all too aware of the issues involving weight. They are complex and to a large degree very personal to each person. What works for one will not work for another. I could be quite sympathetic to Ms. Winfrey’s plight, if she did not hold herself out as some expert on the subject. If she had not told me one too many times that she has the solution and it was X.
She helps no one by these announcements. After all, if she cannot managed to control her weight what possible chance do any of the rest of us have who have no personal chef, trainer, shopper and all the rest? No, in effect, Ms. Winfrey is no help to us, she is the poster child for proof that we are wasting our time trying!
Worse, this latest announcement is not even about that. It is about sympathy. Her loyal gal pal Gail was making the rounds of the morning shows talking about how “brave” and “courageous” Oprah was in coming out again with the story. How so, pray tell? Do I not have eyes? Cannot I and everyone see that she has gained weight? Is this some revelation now? Of course not, but we can all feel sorry for her, and we can all keep watching as she starts on yet another aha moment journey wherein she discovers the previously deeply hidden reasons for her addiction.
It’s but another advertising ploy. Buy the magazine, watch the show. Oprah will not stop until she finds the solution! And this time, it will be the REAL solution, one you can count on, and one that you can start doing (assuming you have the therapist, chef, trainer, shopper, and ginormous numbers of sycophants to support you). Hurrah! Got to love that woman and how brave she is!
She doesn’t of course see that she is not helping anyone, but in fact convincing many that it’s not worth the attempt. She cannot see that for she is now firmly ensconced in the world of Oprah. She has concluded that she must in fact have special wisdom in all matters. Everyone tells her so. So of course, she will uncover special insights and habits that will work for you too!
This is what happens when we make idols of average people with enormous drive and some talent. We look to them for advice. We look to them to lead us. We look to them to live life as we would if we had the means. We live vicariously through them and waste our talents and special insights into the world. Enough I say. SHUT UP OPRAH. Do us all a favor and just shut the f**k, go away to the fat farm and get into the fabulous dress costing tens of thousands. We do not live in the same world, and frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.
Existential Ennui 