Franken-Women! Run For Your Lives!

elsa-and-boris-in-the-bride-of-frankensteinDuring the run up to the 2012 election, the GOP became rather famous for sticking their foot into their collective mouths, up to the knee. Nothing was more famous than their “war on women” an attack they assured us was both unfair and unwarranted.

After all, as countless state legislatures populated mostly by white men, continued to introduce bill after bill that limited the availability of reproductive health care for women, inserted medical instruments into their lady parts, and otherwise suggested that they didn’t really know what was best for themselves, how can that be considered unwomanly?

To say nothing of the strange and mind-shattering medical opinions from men like Todd Aiken on rape. On and on it went, yet, there was no war on women, but in the minds of Democrats who were just playing on the (shh) paternal concerns of husbands and fathers for political benefit. And on and on they went. On election night, 55% of women in America decided that Democrats best served their interests.

That still leaves an amazing 44% of women who voted for the other side, the side doing all the woman-basing.  What can we say about these women? I think we are learning that in the months since the election. In fact, we have always known it, but we grant some leeway that in the heat of battle, some women may in fact grip their thighs and support that which rankles for the “greater good.” So a fairer assessment can be given now.

And it suggests, that what we have is a hybrid creature I have dubbed the Franken-woman. She is in appearance a woman,  but resembles her sisters in very little else. I’m afraid if you look under the skirt, you may well find balls instead of a vagina.

stepford Recently there was some polling by Pew which I believe backs up studies on the subject, that women are increasingly the breadwinners in their families. This of course caused quite a stir. There has been a four-fold increase in the numbers since the 1960′s.

How is this received by the media you ask?

Well Fox News contributor, Erick Erickson cried foul. This is bad stuff he claimed. Everywhere in the animal kingdom (watch out your creationists), males dominate (actually they don’t but he’s from Fox, what can you expect). Why this flood of women breadwinners is destroying marriage and the children! Stop it now!

Of course women are used to this sort of thing.

Soon the topic turned to education and why we are falling farther and farther behind when compared to a whole list of other countries. Once the greatest school system in the world, the US educational system is by many estimations, dismal at best. Mississippi Governor, Phil Bryant (need I add the R?), gave us his assessment of the cause:

I think both parents started working. And the mom is in the work place.

Women are so used to this sort of thing. I hardly matters the topic, somehow it’s the fault of women.

I can attest to this personally.

A while back on Facebook I became engaged in rather heated debate on climate change with a man who was regularly condescending and arrogant in his assertions that there was no such thing as human-made climate change. While both of us threw some nasty ad hominens, he often retorted to my facts with  claims that I had a big mouth, and was a whack job. When I replied that apparently he had no facts, just personal assaults, I was greeted with this gem:

You provoke me!

Indeed, and women who dress in trashy clothes provoke otherwise decent men to rape them! Yes, we’ve heard that excuse.

Well my dismay was not at his remark, which was expected, but rather from the Franken-woman who came to his defense, saying that X was such a nice person, and I was always attacking, and basically, I was up against a brilliant man and was clearly no match.

Now said Franken-woman had already told me that:

  1. If you count all the “crab nebula” historically, it amounts to just the number one would expect if the earth was some 6,000 plus years old and,
  2. If evolution were true then why are monkeys still having monkey babies?

So you see I’m already dealing with a “woman” who if chosen randomly by an alien visitation would have answered the question, “is there intelligent life here?” with a resounding NO. What hurt however was that a supposedly a fellow woman was unable to see the misogyny in such a statement and agreed that women “cause” men to do bad things.

But as I listened to what moves through the Internet vapor, I discovered that there were indeed plenty of these Franken-women.

That gadfly Phyllis Schafley, attorney, book writer, and speaker, you know, the one who tells OTHER women to stay home and make hubby happy with good cookin’ and good sex? THAT “woman?” Well she weighed in on women in combat, telling us that women in combat would unfairly “entice” men, and the poor men would be blamed for the ensuing rape and harassments that would be inevitable! I kid you not.

Marsha Blackburn, perennial talking points maven for the GOP, had the audacity to tell Meet the Press, roundtable participants that “women don’t want equal pay laws.”  Seriously? We don’t?

“I think that more important than that is making certain that women are recognized by those companies. You know, I’ve always said that I didn’t want to be given a job because I was a female, I wanted it because I was the most well-qualified person for the job. And making certain that companies are going to move forward in that vein, that is what women want. They don’t want the decisions made in Washington. They want to be able to have the power and the control and the ability to make those decisions for themselves.”

Um, dear, how exactly are we to make that happen? By baking them some cookies? Or perhaps, forcing them to address their inequality by MAKING THEM PAY WOMEN THE SAME WAGES? And dear, don’t you EVER presume to speak for me, okay?

Not to be outdone, Ms. Schafley weighed in on this as well:

The Obama feminists recite the tiresome mantra that women are paid only 77 cents for every dollar paid to men. That’s completely false because it doesn’t take into account that men take many high-risk and unpleasant jobs, suffering 90 percent of occupational fatalities, so they should earn more.

Does that even make sense? She then claims (without a source) that men work longer hours and so deserve more. In the end, only employers can really know who does the “most” work.

She ends by taking a swipe at Hispanics. Stop courting them, she advises. After all, “they don’t share American values“.

I say congratulations to the GOP who has apparently successfully transplanted a Republican male brain into a woman. These aren’t women. These are freaks of nature, created to pat the poor man on the head and continue to tell him he is the center of their universe.

Save me from such women.

The Chronically Stupid Aways Find an Obtuse Angle

JohnWayneSo much stupid, so little time to expose it all.

First there is the Daily Caller. The Daily Caller is a piece of stupid run by Tucker Carlson, from Fox Noise. The Daily Collection of Stupid leaves no stone unturned in its attempt to be irrelevant, stupidly funny, and masterful in its invention of new ways to be stupid every day.

You no doubt have always known that the Reactionary Right, of which the Daily Curd attempts to be the voice for, is a huge supporter of gay rights? You’re not aware of that? Well, slap yourself silly dumb person and listen up.

pink gunYou see, it’s a crying shame, that compromise bill worked out by Senators Manchin and Toomey. Those darn Democrats, always seeking to betray and abuse their gay brothers and sisters.

The bill, Daily Crap points out, will discriminate against gay gun owners. See if you can figure out why?

Figured it out yet?

Well, you see, in states that don’t recognize gay marriage, said gay gun owner will be forced to submit his or her partner to a background check before selling them or giving them a gun for Christmas. That’s because the “family exception” to the proposed new law would not be recognized in non-same-sex marriage recognizing states.

Yes, indeed. I kid you not as they say.

I guess they forgot the provision about neighbor-to-neighbor transfers. I mean what can be more neighborly than actually living in the same house? Seems about as friendly as neighbors can get doncha think?

I gave you the link, lest you think I was pulling your leg, or attempting a frontal lobotomy with a rusty butter knife.

Next on our hit parade of stupid is the ever growing legend of another of those Texas wonders, Steve Stockman.

babybumperYou remember Steve right? The Texan Representative who decided it was a great idea to invite Ted Nugent, aging rocker with like two old hits over 30 years old, who loves guns more than he loves his kids, and all around crazy conspiracy-laden anti-Obama screamer, to the State of the Union speech? THAT Steve Stockman?

Well this is his new way of attracting the marvelous people who contribute to his campaign to continue being a public nuisance.

This is his newly designed bumper sticker which you can attach to the bumper of your car, horse, or forehead, proclaiming you too are stupid as hell.

Is there anything left to say here? Stockman is offensive on just about all of Dante’s levels of hell.

But my favorite this week? Oh that was easy. You probably heard about the kerfuffle about Melissa Harris Perry’s promo for her show on MSNBC? Where she talks about the education of our children and suggests that children just don’t belong to their parents, but in fact belong to the entire community?

The Really Really Ridiculous Right started fainting and running for smelling salts on that one. One heard the immediate refrain, “COMMUNISM” expounded by the likes of Rush, the Drudge, Daily Caller, and Newsbusters.

Newsbusters said this: “. . .the notion of collective responsibility for children was a philosophy that undergirded the Cultural Revolution in Communist China under Chairman Mao. I bring that up because, as you may recall, another Harris-Perry “Lean Forward” spot contains a reference to a “great leap forward,” which calls to mind the disastrous agricultural reform plan which starved millions of Chinese to death in the 1950s.”

Sarah, “HEY, remember me?” Palin tweeted: Apparently MSNBC doesn’t think your children belong to you. Unflippingbelievable.

Rush ME MORE DRUGS Limbaugh said: So how does this manifest itself? So you need your yard mowed, what do you do?” he continued. “You go knock on the door down the street — your kid that you don’t own. I do today. For the next hour, your kid is going to mow my yard. And then after that, my trash needs taking out and after that I need somebody to go to the grocery store for me and my kid’s tied up, so I’m claiming your kid. How does this work?”

From the Lonely Conservative (who decries a new promo declaring that people have basic human rights to education, food, housing and so forth): Maybe in her next promo she can just come out and quote directly from the Communist Manifesto.

Okay folks, settle down. Let’s recall a few things. There is a rather famous saying, “it takes a village to raise a child.” That is in fact the title of one of Hillary Clinton’s books. Let’s not forget that we all pay property taxes wherever we live, and part of that money goes directly to support local school systems. Guess what? Those who are not parents pay them as well, on the theory that EVERYONE  has a stake in children being educated.

Has everyone on the Right forgotten the “good old days”? You remember when extended families lived together and everyone thought that all children were so much better off having more people busy raising them? Remember the Waltons? Remember when we were children and the teacher as “loco parentis” was considered “always right” if we were disciplined? Remember when any neighbor had a perfect right to correct your behavior if not physically, at least verbally?

Do we not all have a stake in the future of our next generation of teachers, lawyers, doctors, soldiers, and seamstresses? These are the folks who will govern the country when we are using our walkers in the hallways of senior facilities.

I mean how stupid can you be to see something sinister in what Ms Harris-Perry said? How much must you twist and distort it to make it look dangerous and “otherly”?

Do you not see that it is exactly this utterly over-the-top reaction to something so innocent and benign and TRUE, that makes even the fairly non-interested middle of America think the far Right has more than a few screws loose? The GOP and it’s cadre of stupid are swirling into the sinkhole of oblivion and pretty much nobody cares.

Next: RED Jello is a Commie plot with nanobots invading your body and indoctrination in each red sugary gelatin grain.

monkey play

 

North Dakota Votes Fred Flintstone as Women’s Rights Spokesperson

fredflintstoneDino named Secretary of Education.

This is one state to steer way way clear of. If you even see the letters, DAK, start backing away.

The folks there have returned to living in caves. The signs say brake for Brontosaurus.

Seriously.

In what can only be the happiest marriage between fundamentalism and unscience, the legislature (really four old white dudes sitting around a campfire), have determined that women shall bear all children put upon them by any many who gets a hankering to “get a little.” And the governor, one Dalrymple, really the owner of the local stone quarry, has signed the dang thing into law, or laws as the case may be, because there are several.

Now of course there will be lawsuits since this is just about the opposite of the law of the land. And the good Dalrymple has decided in his rubbing of two brain cells together, that the fair cave citizens of said cave state should pay for that. After all, it’s for their own good.

They have managed to reduce the clinics in the realm to one, and they are determined to put that one out of business by loading it down with so many odious regulations that nobody but God himself could comply.

Now these cave men purport to be Republicans, who last time I checked, were for small government and getting off the backs of business operators. Except of course when they aren’t for that because they are more interested in controlling the lives of women in their cave realm.

Wouldn’t it just be easier to conk them over the head like usual?

As I said, avoid at all costs. Ken Ham is said to be scoping out the area for another of his fun times with science “museums”.

HINT: you know guys, one day women will get a majority in these legislative bodies. You might think about that before you keep screwing with us.

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California, by and large, is a crazy state, but at least half the time, it’s good crazy. That’s a pretty good track record if you throw totally insane places like Alabama into the mix.

Yet, following the Peyton rule that each state is required by law to maintain at least two certifiable simpletons in its band of state or federal legislative arenas, California no doubt counts Rep. Jack Kimble as one of their (hide him in the closet when company comes) boneheads.

Seems that Mr. Kimble is pretty worried about what might happen should the SCOTUS decided that California must allow marriage between people who love each other, without checking under skirts and peeking inside trousers to determine the gender of said love birds.

Kimble in a last gasp of intellectual showmanship, tweeted this:

kimbleJack? Are you worried, or just a wee bit excited by that prospect?

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Fearful that the gay will be just popping up everywhere, Tony Perkins, that nice hateful man who runs the Family Research Council and knows God better than most people know their own toes, suggests that if the SCOTUS makes that fateful decision legalizing all that “nasty stuff”, why people might just rise up and start a revolution.

Yeah, I figure that people are aching to destroy their families, neighborhood, businesses, and such just to make sure that some stranger is not doing the nasty with someone who shares plumbing equipment with them.

But no doubt, it will be a good enough excuse for the survivalists to go out and purchase another half-dozen big guns.

La PeePee Lapierre certainly hopes so anyway.

Ä

There is a group called Concerned Women for America. As best as I can tell, they are women who are concerned about a certain kind of America, one that they control and which they feel comfortable in. They are really mad at Starbucks.

Starbucks, as you may already know, is in favor of marriage equality. So it stands to reason that somebody would make the leaping logical conclusion, that that means that Starbucks will probably soon start discriminating against straight people. Or at least discriminate against straight people who want to (just cuz) discriminate against gay people. I mean, old habits are hard to break.

Oh I do love a dose of stupid with my coffee.

Ä

We understand that Wisconsin Governor, Scott Walker is writing a book.

I know.

You can’t wait to go stand in line to get it autographed  can you?

Reports are that it will be written in crayon and Walker promised it would be in his own words, at least the ones he can spell.

Everyone is delighted that there will be plenty of pictures to color throughout.

There is still a debate as to what category it will fall under for you librarians wanting to dust off a special shelf. Suggestions range from Sci-fi fantasy to Abnormal psychology.

I am putting in my Amazon pre-order.

Yeah, I believe in unicorns too.

 

 

Where’s My Fire Extinguisher?

war-on-women-in-one-graphic-fullIt really strikes one as insane, except to the insane I guess. And the GOP is home to a whole lota insane. After taking a drubbing in 2012, you’d think they would be about figuring out how to appeal to the groups they lost badly to, LIKE WOMEN!

No, instead, they are still doing the big daddy shuffle–no no missy, you just don’t trouble you pretty little head darlin’, I’ll do what’s best for you.

And they are, to the tune of moving all in in their war against Planned Parenthood. In good old Wisconsin, home of the Koch-addicted Governor Walker, has just managed to cut funding for PPH by a whopping one million, forcing them to close four clinics in rural areas.

Upwards of 2,000 women will lose the only health care they have.

All in the name of preventing PPH from its abortion agenda–which accounts for a mere 3% of its business.

But big daddy knows best.

I would like to kick big daddy in the balls. Actually, that’s a great idea, and a great contraceptive method. More women need to do it to Republican legislators around the country who think they know best when it comes to women’s health. . .or lack of it.

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I spent considerable time and precious time (for my time is quite valuable) yesterday trying to rid Firefox of its pop-up problem. And it is their problem, most of the windows are Mozilla creations. They can’t fix their own stuff, so I downloaded some malware fixes and that didn’t work either. So I have transferred most operations to Explorer (finding Chrome very ugly to work with) and figure to dump Firefox. I assume the dang program is corrupted. If anybody knows an easy way to transfer “favorites” I’d be appreciative. I have so far not figured that baby out.

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I was mildly intrigued some time ago when I heard of the paleo diet. The Contrarian often regales me the fact that he “drinks” anthropologically–with great draughts of liquid much as our ancestors did at the old drinkin’ hole. One needed to get in and out quick before some saber tooth came along and made you his midnight snack. But I’ve never had a satisfactory explanation of why grains were not allowed since grains were certainly available to paleolithic people in the form of wild rice and wheat.

There is a movement about that suggests that we are evolutionarily speaking still more cave-lady than 5th Avenue in terms of our genetics, and this mismatch of cave and five-inch heels is the source of much of our unhealth today. It sounds right, but is it? Some call it the paleofantasy. If you’re intrigued too, then read more about it here. Common sense conclusions are very often wrong. Were we every “perfectly” adapted to our environment?

If you don’t believe in evolution, then ignore the above, and just ask “what would Noah do?” AND BITE ME!

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Do you have a list of books you are “going to read?”  I don’t mean the stack next to your chair which you can’t wait to get to. I’m talking about the books that make you feel guilty because you know you should have read them, yet you just can’t get past the first ten pages without wanting to tear out your hair. Do you keep saying one day you WILL read James Joyce? How about Proust?

Anyway, I was just wondering if there are others out there like me. Do you die in guilt? Or are you doing anything about it?

I’m nosy like that. Probing through the folds of other people’s grey matter.

§

Speaking of probing brain matter. Let me ask you this? No not, you dear reader, you are sane. I’m talking to stupid in the back. Come on UP stupid.

I have a question for you. Do stupid people actively sit around thinking up stupid things, or do stupid thoughts just fall into your head and stick there until you are forced to expel them verbally?

Missouri seems to have a virus floating around of stupid.

A GOP’er (aren’t they always) has introduced a bill in the state legislature (perhaps it’s really the state day-care center for the mentally infirm), that would make it a FELONY to propose any law that would in any way restrict the rights of gun owners under the 2nd Amendment.

Yes, it’s now illegal to make constitutional laws.

Or it would be.

If there are enough stupid to match the gargantuan stupid of Mikey Leara.

Can anybody top that?

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Not to be outdone, just out stupided, is Kansas, dear old Kansas or KANS ASS as you might wish to think of it.

It seems there, that the GOPer’s are busy introducing bills that would require that teachers teach falsehood–namely that there is some scientific controversy about the existence of man-made climate change.

Yessiree Bob, we got us some climate deniers here, and they have adopted the ALEC-supplied legislation and introduced it.

So, who will win? Missouri or Kansas?

Don’t you Texans feel just a might better now?

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Saw the last show of the season for Downton Abbey last night. All I can say is bummer, dude. And I’m pretty darn good at spotting things ahead of time. That carefree driving down a country road happy as a lark? It’s the harbinger of death. Always is. Now the long wait until the next season.

Oh I forgot. Liberals are supposed to hate Downton. For it’s classism no doubt. What a crock of poo.

Standing in Line to Make that Assiness First

cruzThey breed ‘em big in Texas.

Asshats that is.

Ted Cruz, the newly elected, still wet-behind the ears, Senator from the late great state of YeHaw, is making it very clear that the Tea Bag Nation is full to the brim with bluster if not brains.

Ted got all in-your-face at the hearings over the proposed new gun legislation and then did the same when it came to confirmation hearings on Chuck Hagel.

Now let me state up front, I have no clear opinion on Chuck. His performance at the hearings was unstellar to say the least, though I’ve read that he was warned again and again not to get into a pissing contest with his opponents. I am basically not terribly impressed with him, but I’m not the President either, so I say, if that’s the man he wants, he should have him.

Ted ranted like a child, and now threatens by his demands to further prove his assiness. He’s demanding records from Hagel of companies that Hagel was involved with but did not control (i.e. he has no right to the documents) and copies of speeches he gave that were never in writing to begin with and never recorded.

Ted you see is an all around jerk. He’s a perfect example of the substantivelessness of the Tea People in general. Bluster abounds, actual facts, knowledge, or even basic common sense are absent. That makes one wonder if he more resembles a Texan or a Tea Bibber. (apologies to all my Texan friends, seriously, I know you are embarrassed by this idiot as I was of the king of stupid Steven King, and am close to be of the Tea Pipsqueak Steven Pence of New Mexico.)

Rational heads even in the Republican party think he’s beginning to act like a first class douche. He has ambitions it’s clear. I rather think he’s dumb enough to destroy his own campaign.

Š

Meanwhile Republican-controlled legislatures across the country continue their assault on women’s rights. Oh, yeah, I forget, “protecting women’s health and safety.” I forget, when Republicans aren’t calling women too stupid to think for themselves, they are busy protecting their health–the better to breed my dear!

In Tennessee, Jim Stacy who has his eye on a congressional seat, is introducing legislation to require women to not only undergo ultrasounds before any abortion, but to see the photograph and listen to the fetal heartbeat. All because, women you know, probably have no idea what they are aborting, thinking perhaps its just a bag of Cheetos.

In Alabama, that bastion of intellectual plenty, a WOMAN legislator has decided that the architecture of the building in which an abortion takes place contributes to unsafe medical procedures, and thus are illegal places to perform said procedures. Such ploys are becoming most common, demanding that the building contain one more broom closet per floor, or six more heating vents. Just utter crap demands that cost thousands to comply with and thus force many clinics to close their doors. These bills of course are called “women’s health and safety acts” to pretty them all up.

Women who have no reasonable place to get an abortion? Suffer and have that kid. But that’s where the “help” stops of course. These states are fairly notorious for not wanting to help care for the infants they demand to be born.

Š

Just a bit of flotsam here. Bet you didn’t know that George W. Bush and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad have something in common did ya? They do, they do! Both have had shoes thrown at them by irate Arabs. You all remember that George got his in Iraq. Well Mahmoud got his (several in fact) thrown at him from a crowd in Cairo. I just love the symmetry of that don’t you? Both nuts, both shoe dodgers.

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Do run by Woodgate’s View today and read the great reblogged post on the character Polonius from Hamlet and John McCain. It is both hilarious and a dead on accurate assessment of the great Maverick who really wasn’t. Great read.

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Under the theory, that if I can waste upwards of 300 million dollars in one election cycle, that should stand as no impediment to giving me more, Karl Rove is back at it, as you have no doubt heard. He’s formed a new group that is designed to purge the party of the craziest segment of the TeaDom and keep their airy little heads from winning primaries statewide. The first target is one near and dear to my liberal heart, one Steven King (R-IA) whom we understand is wanting to run for Tom Harkin’s Senatorial seat. Trouble is, as we know, Steven is a harebrained lunatic of the highest magnitude short of a quasar and cannot possibly win statewide (all the crazies being mostly kept in the western corner of the state). Karl wants him out and a more respectable (less crazy) alternative, probably Latham.

Fox Noise, with ratings dropping badly from their assurance that Willard would carry the day easily, is out to purge its ranks of the most awful of the awful, starting with Dick Morris who has been told to go peddle his Clinton-hating nonsense somewhere else. Ditto for the grifter queen herself, our dear little Sarah.

And of course, the GOP has offered the hot chile to the Latino community by designating Marco Rubio, to be the answer man to the President’s State of the Union speech. They want that brown vote BAD! All the while, Marco assures the Right that the new “path to citizenship” will be arduous and the line will be long, probably years in the traversing, to soothe the bigoted minds of the trailer trash that is THE TeaMonsterAutoBashBudBowl. None of it is true of course, but the stupid, usually stay that way, and will never know what hit them.

Which is all to say, that the emperor has no clothes and we see your little dickie bobbing in the wind, just fine, and nobody wants a little dickie.

Got that?

K.

Bye.

Yeah So What Have You Done For Me Lately?

I’m too pooped for words. Three hours in the kitchen making food items for today and tomorrow. I still have stuff to make tomorrow but now I don’t have to spend the WHOLE day. Not that I give a hoot who wins this game, other than the coach of the 49′ers was from U of M and I HATE U of M with all the passion that a true Spartan can muster. That is a lot in case you didn’t know.

So I made some refried beans and some Mexican rice and some green chile salsa. We’re having chimichangas today but I have those made up from a while back and just have to take them from the freezer and put them in the oven. I still have to make guacamole which has a maddeningly bad habit of turning unappetizingly brown when left too long. It’s the oxygen that does it. Just a tip. Store left over with a piece of plastic spread tight on the surface, touching it to push out the air.

I made some pesto for a dish tomorrow, and a jalapeno popper dip too. Then I made some lemon/pumpkin seed sweet muffins, and then a vanilla wafer/banana pudding dish with a meringue on top. I’m pooped. I had a whole list, and everything is crossed off real nice and neat. I just have to make marinade for the Jamaican jerk chicken wings and then make the dough for the pizza wheels. Those are easy.

Has politics been pissing you off? Has me. Nothing changes. When 93% of the population is in favor of background checks for prospective gun buyers, why do all the Republicans think that they have the RIGHT to signal they are not wanting it? What makes them so special? Oh, yeah, I forgot, the checks they get from the NRA.

Paranoid-RightI been talking a lot on Facebook with old high school folks. Amazing that there is a couple of them who are the TeaBaggin’ whirly heads. One says nothing but stupid lines like “Obumma is destroying America” and “all democruds are stupid.” He obviously was matriculated through without passing a test of any kind.

The other wants me to explain why the Obama’s don’t have their law licenses any more. I explained it, of course rather easily. She pounced. “You are wrong! Michelle was forced to give her’s up or face prosecution for fraud!”

“No,” I sighed, “that is another of those crazy urban myths.”

She prefers to live in her delusions because it fits her mind-set. Oh and she said Sarah was just “brilliant”. Sarah may be a lot of things, brilliant is not one of them. I have rocks in my back yard that I could have a more interesting discussion with.

The loon-land crazies have gotten no less crazy and a goodly number of them are still being courted by the GOP. Which is fine. It just insures an easier road in 2016.

Dont-Laugh-at-MeI mean, I try to be patient with the really bashingly crazy ones. I do. But it does get so boring wasting any time on such blithering bonkers beliefs. How’s that for alliteration?

I love alliteration. Don’t ask me why, but I do. I just love to string ‘em all out there until I exhaust myself.

That poor don’t tread on me snake, I feel sorry for him. To be co-opted by such a bunch of dopes. It gives a bad name to snakes. I mean laughing at a snake? Seriously, that must be embarrassing.

GOP-Blockage

 

Is anybody beginning to just laugh whenever they see Lindsey or Johnny pull a microphone towards them?

Bellicose! Outrage! End of world as we know it!

Lindsey is the funniest of all because with his twang he sounds like he’d be better at calling for the next act in the cross-dressing contest at Mardi Gras. His fake shock and awe is truly hysterical.

Somebody ought to tell Johnny that if he dies with that big old permanent scowl on his face, it will stay that way for all eternity. Not the way you want to meet Jesus, John. Your life is way too short to waste any more of it tilting at windmills, or tilting period. Scrape Lindsey off your behind and find a good book to read on a good beach. It’s time.

Women-in-CombatWomen are fit for combat now.

Why anyone would want that I have not a clue.

I’m not the military type.

I’m a lover, not a fighter.

But he, if it floats your boat, go for it.

The usual people displayed the usual mock horror. I’m talking to you no longer relevant Alan West. I’m talking to you.

Republican-OutreachMeanwhile, what’s left of the sane Republican part, and I use the term loosely, cuz if we were really talking, sane, I’m not sure there could be more than three, is trying to entice all the groups they turned off to come see.

Unfortunately when it comes to women, they are still screwing up. I think they are unaware of HOW to change. They see themselves and their patronizing ways as normal.

As to the “immigration problem” they are trying to work that through. They are trying to be “for” a decent reform. Course, they are also trying to lie through their teeth to convince their peeps that it ain’t what it seems.

NO AMNESTY HERE! they cry. No of course not. HAVE TO GET TO THE BACK OF THE LINE! they chant. What LINE? There is no line. Think about it.

By the by, I had a laugh yesterday. One of my high school (what to call him?) persons I barely knew  at all, said that first we have to secure the borders because only one bomb, and the grid would be gone. He also asks if I’ve crawled back under my rock, so you can tell we have nice chats. Actually I don’t speak to him at all in the hopes that he will get bored and go away. (They never do. They are too stupid to know they are unwanted.)

I struggled with that. He thinks the “grid” is a place you can go and “bomb”. He thinks there is “a” grid. He thinks it has something to do with the border. How can a person be wrong on everything? You see what I’m up against?

beyonceThis is what you are up against.

The media is so sad.

This is what I need to know?

Why?

Don’t I need to know about Syria? And climate change? And health care issues? And veterans suicide rates? And efforts to screw women’s rights? And the plight of the Palestinians?

Don’t you think I need to know those things?

But you wanna tell me that Beyoncé has lip-synced when I think that that is not really all that uncommon at major events? You want to tell me that? Go soak your head.

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I Hate to Forget a Title for a Post

apple-pie-ck-709820-lYou’re the apple of my eye. Both of them. Truly. I really mean it. Honestly. No foolin’.

Okay, so  I made an apple pie today. A nice fat ol’ big one. Deeeeeep dish.

And we are having a good old-fashioned pot roast. With gravy, and mashed taters and nicely caramelized onions and carrots. And some copycat Red Lobster cheddar biscuits.

Why am I such a good wife?

I ask myself the same question.

I guess I was just born that way.

I’m getting a cramp in my shoulder. Trying to pat yourself on the back has its draw-backs.

Hey, I’m just happy today. I’m happy most days.

I got a good man, a good dog, and I love my house, my city, and my state. I love my brain and I love you guys, and I love God. And that was in no particular order–you know that Lord!

But I am still a snarky woman who is old enough to not give a good poo what you think about anything I say or think, so let’s see what we can find in the wacky world of cartoon politics.

2013-CongressPlenty of folks in the know, or in the think at least, figure that things aren’t going to improve much this year over the last four.

As to the Congress that is. It’s still (thanks to gerrymandering) entirely too full of yesterday’s child, the ubiquitous Tea People who are like wack-a-moles, popping up again and again.

We’ve said so much about their lack of knowledge about anything beyond which is the finest beer–Bud or Coors (yes even Sam Adams is way beyond these folks) or what is the best NASCAR track Daytona or Talladega, that little more can be said.

Boehner will continue to look mildly embarrassed as they continue to search uteruses, strut their 2nd Amendment bona fides, and vote for the umpteenth time to outlaw Obamacare. And Harry Reid will continue to sigh as McConnell filibusters each and every bill, because Reid can’t make himself alter the damn rules to return the Senate once again to a majority vote forum.

Business as usual–meaning no business at all.

2012-Warmest-YearMeanwhile, we all saw the reports that this past year was the warmest EVER.

That means EVER.

While the Right continues to worry us about the legacy of debt we are leaving to our next generation (a legacy not nearly as dire according to REAL economists), they of course deny that climate change is real, that we have anything to do with it, and that we should STOP F**king around and get busy.

The Left, full of bombast, tells us  that of course it’s real and of course the evidence of the VAST majority of scientists suggests we have a lot to do with it, which is GOOD news, since that means we might be able to undo the damage.

But where is the legislation? Where is the serious discussion where were are confronted with the alternatives and what we need to do NOW?

Oh, yeah, we are expecting answers from the 113th.

I wonder if hibernating might be a good idea. Course, if I was a polar bear in my snow cave, I might just find the thing melt out from over me.

HagelYa see, Hagel is like mainstream. He’s supported by all kinds of retired generals, and previous Secretaries of Defense. And he is NOT the policy maker in the first, second or third place.

And the neo-cons hate him because he turned on their pet rock the Iraq war really quickly. And so they hate him, because he exposed how wrong they were with their all “they will greet us as liberators” and crap.

And the usual cast of tantrum havers will have at it–tantrums that is. They will threaten and whine, and in the end Hagel will be confirmed. And then they will do the exact same thing to Brennan and Lew.

And that is how you pretend to do something, when in fact you are doing nothing at all, because you can’t get past the Tea People, who have almost no support nationwide, but locally they still  can win an election, because guess what, just like rich people tend to live with rich people? Well Tea People tend to find trailer parks the garden of Eden. Go figure.

DO NOTHING CONGRESSThe GOP doesn’t hate women.

It just doesn’t see them as a significant reason to do something to protect them against men who get out of hand with their hands.

You know how America just can’t bring itself to agree that if service men and women are in another country and commit a crime, they should be tried by the jurisdiction they are in?

Well, Republicans don’t think that Native tribal authorities should be able to arrest NON-NATIVE perpetrators who have assaulted Native Women. Kind like the same thing.

And don’t get me started on how they don’t want to even touch assaults in same-sex cases.

But the GOP is not anti-women or anything. Frankly they don’t think about women much at all. Except when they want to have sex, or dinner, or needmixing-it-up a clean shirt, or need another beer from the fridge which is way the hell on the other side of the house and all. Then they think of women.

Have you noticed?

Ummm, yeah, they are all white men.

Now I’m not totally against white men. I am married to one. He’s a good one.

But doncha think that appearances matter there Mr. President?

I mean step out on a limb and get yourself a woman or two, a Hispanic? A BLACK? Whoa, are we getting out there or something?

I know you will say you looked for the MOST qualified. Well, what does THAT say?

I mean I am with ya on most things, but Sir, please. We can handle the big jobs. I know you know that. So. . . .?

losing-itThe NRA went to the White House.

They sat down with the Vice President.

Mr. Wayne PEE PEE LaPierre didn’t attend.

He’s still recovering from the increased dosage of his anti-schizo meds.

He and Alex Jones are in the same ward.

Hey Mr. Pee Pee, if you say that we need to get guns out the hands of criminals, how exactly are we to do that when you don’t want background checks or registration or limiting the sale of certain weapons? I mean how is the gun seller supposed to know? Maybe we should brand all convicts on their forehead? You know, a criminal ain’t a criminal until they have been convicted. The horse has kinda left the barn Mr. Pee Pee.

Oh, he’s not able to receive visitors yet?

The strain of reality takes a long time to recover from.

I see.

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