Sununu, Sucking the Straw

 

 

Willard surrounds himself with the weirdest people. But then Willard is most weird, so I guess they should be too.

Everybody knows that John Bolton is stark raving loony. He proves that every time he opens his mustache to utters forth some insane piece of crap that makes you soooo very glad that he is nowhere near the reins of power. Yet Willard likes his neo-conish (what ever happened to them?) attitudes toward most of the rest of the world, which can be reduced usually to the phrase: “bomb first ask questions if you must of the survivors.”

But this John Sununu is really something else. Why this is a walking train wreck. He is considered a Willard spokesman yet most of the time he ends up being a rich turd who enjoys bullying people. And of course who can forget bully supreme Chris Christie, the dude who must have been bullied as an obese child and now is hell-bent on calling everybody names at the drop of a doughnut.

Anyway, back to Sununu. He became known for his calling the president “unAmerican” and suggesting he “learn how to be an American” and telling Soledad O’Brien to paste an Obama bumper sticker on her forehead, all for her temerity in challenging his faulty facts.

Determined to outdo the queen of stupid, he actually claimed at one point that Obama  was “wallowing with felons” in Chicago.

But what is more revealing is that the “businessman” Willard cares not at all about the fact that Sununu is well known for his attitude of entitlement as some sort of “royal” page. I quote this directly out of Wikipedia because it lists in detail what was a well-known scandal at the time.

As White House Chief of Staff, Sununu reportedly took personal trips, for skiing and other purposes, and classified them as official, for purposes such as conservation or promoting the Thousand Points of Light.[16] The Washington Post wrote that Sununu’s jets “took him to fat-cat Republican fund-raisers, ski lodges, golf resorts and even his dentist in Boston.”[16] Sununu had paid the government only $892 for his more than $615,000 worth of military jet travel.[17] Sununu said that his use of the jets was necessary because he had to be near a telephone at all times for reasons of national security.[18] Sununu became the subject of much late-night television humor over the incident.[16] Sununu worsened the situation shortly afterwards when, after leaking rumors of financial difficulties in his family, he traveled to a rare stamp auction at Christie’s auction house in New York City from Washington in a government limousine, spending $5,000 on rare stamps.[19] Sununu then sent the car and driver back to Washington unoccupied while he returned on a corporate jet.[19] In the course of one week, 45 newspapers ran editorials on Sununu, nearly all of them critical of his actions.[20]

Sununu repaid over $47,000 to the government for the flights on the orders of White House counsel C. Boyden Gray, with the help of the Republican Party.[21] However, the reimbursements were at commercial rates, which are about one-tenth the cost of the actual flights; one ski trip to Vail, Colorado alone had cost taxpayers $86,330.[22]

I bring this up only to note his lasted puke speech: First he tells us that he prayed that hurricane Isaac would go “west of Tampa” apparently not caring that those people might have had enough of hurricanes too. And then he complains that the media is giving too much attention to the weather when it should be covering the convention. Shades of “doing a good job Brownie” come to mind in assessing the compassion of this man’s shriveled heart.

Wonder what it says about a man who likes to surround himself with bullies?

Meanwhile, while real problems are waiting to be addressed like jobs, the GOP remains mired in my vagina yet still finds time to waste more time being “funny”. This the DNC  proposed convention schedule:

  • 4:00 PM – Opening Flag Burning Ceremony – sponsored by CNN
  • 4:05 PM – Singing of “God Damn America” led by Rev. Jeremiah Wright
  • 4:10 PM – Pledge of Allegiance to Obama.
  • 4:15 PM – Ceremonial ‘I hate America’ led by Michelle Obama.
  • 4:30 PM – Tips on “How to keep your man trustworthy & true to you while you travel the world”Hillary Clinton
  • 4:45 PM – Al Sharpton/Jesse Jackson seminar “How to have a successful career without having a job.”
  • 5:00 PM – “Great Vacations I’ve Taken on the Taxpayer’s Dime Travel Log”Michelle Obama.
  • 5:30 PM – Eliot Spitzer Speaks on “Family Values” via Satellite
  • 5:45 PM – Tribute to All 57 StatesNancy Pelosi
  • 6:00 PM – Sen. Harry Reid – 90-minute speech expressing the Democrat’s appreciation of the Occupy Wall Street movement, and George Soros for sparing no expense, for all that they have accomplished to unify the country, improve employment and to boost the economy.
  • 8:30 PM – Airing of Grievances by the Clintons
  • 9:00 PM – “Bias in Media – How we can make it work for you” Tutorial – sponsored by CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, the Washington Post and the New York Times
  • 9:15 PM – Tribute Film to Brave Freedom Fighters incarcerated at GITMOMichael Moore
    • 9:45 PM – Personal Finance SeminarCharlie Rangel
    • 10:00 PM – Denunciation of Bitter Gun Owners and Bible readers.
    • 10:30 PM – Ceremonial Waving of White Flag for IRAQ , & Afghanistan
    • 11:00 PM – Obama Energy Plan Symposium/Tire Gauge Demonstration/You too can get rich with Green Investment bankruptcies
    • 11:15 PM – Free Gov. Blagovich rally
    • 11:30 PM – Obama Accepts Oscar, Tony and Latin Grammy Awards
    • 11:45 PM – Feeding of the Delegates with 5 Loaves and 2 Fish Obama Presiding
    • 12:00 AM – Official Nomination of Obama by Bill Maher and Chris “He sends a thrill up my leg” Matthews
    • 12:01 AM – Obama Accepts Nomination as Lord and Savior
    • 12:05 AM – Celestial Choirs Sing
    • 3:00 AM – Biden Delivers Acceptance Speech
      This from some rag called the American “Thinker” which is an oxymoron in the making.

    Oh, and in case you care, good old Herm Cain is flappin’ his jaws and claiming that the field he ran against, at least some of them were dishonest and stole the nomination from him, but his people are working at exposing the conspiracy. After all, he should be the one accepting the crown in Tampa, not that ‘other’ guy.

 

And Then There Was Just Willard

With Ragin’ Ricks departure, that would seem to be the end of it. Don’t tell our intrepid Newtsie though, because he thinks that all that Ricky love will now be coming his way and make that long-ago uttered statement, “I think it’s clear that I’m going to be the nominee” a prescient truth.

Meanwhile, all the courageous Refreakricans are coming out of the woodwork to through their imprimatur upon the oily anointed one. Even our own Terry Branstad leapt to indorse the candidate Willard as his new BFF.

Not to be outdone, that moral champion NOM, offered its heartfelt support. Finally Willard got the tit-for-tat that he bargained for. After all, a check for $10,000 and a pledge to fight the gay agenda until death was not too much to ask of the etch-a-sketch presidential wannabe.

 ¶

At Foxy, a mole is turning out some interesting video. It seems that our Willard was about to be interviewed by fav idiot boy Sean the Hannity, and the two were chatting it up before the cameras rolled. Willard was talking about his wife’s “warmbloods” which are the best horses of course for dressage (pronounced dra-saj for your unFrench types), while he himself preferred the smoother gait of his Missouri Foxtrotter. They both then chortled about how such a discussion would not be helpful on camera. And then, so we are told, Willard made some gay-type giggle about a pink tie. Since I can’t watch video, please tell me if the video doesn’t support my statements.

Herman Cain has been talkative as of late. First he encouraged Willard to hire on the great disgraced Alan West as his running mate. West dutifully said that he would serve is called up, and then dutifully said that all those pesky social issues he’s been rabid about, aren’t important at the moment.

But Herm didn’t stop there. No, he decided to help Willard out with his woman issue. Herm, being the great woman’s advocate, had this to say about why women are flocking to President Obama:

CAIN: Yes, President Obama is very likable to most people, if you just look at him and his family. But if you look at his policies, which is what most people disagree with, it’s a different story. And I think many men are much more familiar with the failed policies than a lot of other people, as well as the general public.

You see, women are “other people” and they aren’t informed on important issues like the economy, so they are swayed to support the President because he is likeable and has a nice family. I’m both dumb and other in three sentences!

Thank you Herm. Keep on sending in your checks to NOW.

Which has nothing to do with the poor sap legislator in Wisconsin who said that scrapping the employment equality enforcement was okay since, men care more about money than women do.

Meanwhile, Chris Christie says America is turning into a paternalistic entitlement society, “with a bunch of people sitting on their couch waiting for their government check.” Well, first I might ask how he knows so much about couch potatoes? And then I might ask how he thinks that giving the rich more money to squander on pretty things at Tiffany’s helps put food on the table for those folks who have had their checks removed. Are they to become clerks at Tiffany’s?

Just a laugh. Mikey Huck started his new radio show and his first call-in question was full of praise for the Huck and his refreshing new point of view. Turns out however that the caller was staged and a fake listener and was actually one of the executives of his own show. Oh Huck, that’s mighty unChristian doncha think? Lies are sinful Mike.

I don’t know if you heard all the kerfuffle yesterday about George Zimmerman. He called Sean the Hannity and had a nice chat. But his lawyers were unaware, and when they called Sean, he was mum. And then they (the lawyers) said they had never actually met their client, only talked to him on the phone. And then they quit. Sort of. And George is not supposed to be in Florida, but maybe in Cuba. It’s all confusing, and well Willard was pissed at being pushed off the top story. Field Negro has an interesting take on it all. Ain’t it nice to know that in America if you are accused of racism, your naturally go for safety to Fox Noise? Yeah.

We don’t, as individuals, spend a lot of time imagining what it’s like to walk a mile in somebody else’s shoes. We should. It’s called empathy. Feministing alerted me to this fine article at The American Prospect. This is deep and important look at the awful practice of trying to “undue the gay.” Anyone who suggests that gayness can be therapeutically “fixed” is both wrong and dangerous.

 

Reports of My Insanity are Grossly Exaggerated

I suppose if you’ve been reading along the past week or so, you might have concluded that I was going a bit wiggers. Losin’ the mind, not playing with a full deck any more, seeing aliens under my bed.

Naw, I’m fine. It seems a good thing to do every now and then–purging the evil from the grey matter. The better to serve you, my chickies.  Just to prove that I still have some rational neurons zippin’ around the brain universe, I present you some find things you might well be interested in. If you are not, well, crap, there go my polls again.

First off is a really good piece by Frank Rich in the New York Magazine. Rich pretty much echos my sentiments when I’ve suggested that the tail the GOP establishment chose to grab hold of (the TeaNutz®) would one day turn around and show its fangs. Rich argues that the failure of Mittens to rise above 25% suggests that 75% of the GOP hates him and the Old Guard, and will, one way or the other take them down. Mittens may still be the candidate, but that doesn’t mean they will vote for him in the general election. Worth your reading.

I know he’s no longer relevant, but gosh, I sure miss Herm. Herm was the king of the unqualifieds, of which the field is bloated this year, and he had a way about him. He actually thought that his self-confident affirmations would be enough to power him forward. Actually old Herm never thought he would actually be considered a real candidate, yet there he was, catapulted into first place suddenly. Then of course we found out that the emperor had no clothes. No thoughts either, and no knowledge.

You probably saw Barbara Walter’s famous “What?” when Herm said that he would like to be Secretary of Defense. Well, he wasn’t kidding and frankly, I think the soft-in-the-head shuckster really thinks someone would consider him for the post. The Daily Caller, that bastion of level-headedness (not), gives you Herm’s seven reasons why he should be SOD. They amount to:

  1. He’s a proven leader  (being the head of anything apparently proves this)
  2. He’s not afraid of challenges (meaning he won’t go sit in the corner and pee on himself if something bad happens in the world.)
  3. He can make decisions (yeah Dubya could too, just not good ones)
  4. He knows how to prioritize (okay, I learned to count and put things in columns too Herm- by 2nd grade I believe)
  5. He knows how to listen to experts (learned that in Kindergarten I believe)
  6. He knows how to have strategic priorities (um see #4)
  7. He knows how to give an opinion to the boss (as well the mail boy might be called upon to do)

Damn Herm, we miss ya.

Many of you undoubtedly read Lisa Golden’s blog, That’s Why (on the bloglist). I do as well, and she had a great link that I thought you might really like to keep tucked in the favorites of your computer. It’s a long list of “free-education” sites, and other archived sites where you can look up just about anything, from learning a language to taking a math course, to looking up some obscure historical factoid.

You might generally like to bookmark the site itself which is Marc and Angel Hack Life. They had another post I liked called 30 books you should read before  turn 30.  I just love stuff like that. Seems like a good site to have in your back pocket.

Well, what a difference a week makes. Ricky (oops that darned Google searchie thingie) Santorum is the flav of the week. He is surging as they all do, but he has capped it at the precisely right moment, and may well register a win or second place. Ricky, who exemplifies just about everything is wrong with the GOP, is proof positive that it’s still “anybody by Mitt” as far as the rank and file (which is way way right of the Old Guard) is concerned.

So for the brief moment while Santorum matters: this is why he things that social programs are so very wrong–he thinks its kinda Christian to suffer, and also, he thinks that recipients of “welfare” in whatever guise, become beholden (and must for vote for) those who offered them a hand. And of course, that can never be good for Republicans who are stingy mother-******’s as everyone knows.

We are about to be released from Purgatory here in Iowa. Only hours away, the candidates will slink off to New Hampshire and drive those people batshit crazy for a few days. There is something very very bad about being first. These insufferable jackasses come and park their rears here and never leave. They are like the relative from hell who will not pack and go home. Nobody else has to suffer this kinda crap. What did we do to deserve this?

Inquiring minds wish to know.

We hear that the almost as irrelevant as Herm Cain, Michele Bachmann is touting herself as the American version of Margaret Thatcher. Well, we can sure say that she’s got half of the Iron Lady’s persona going for her. She’s batshit crazy. Now if she could just improve on her looks, she would do Mrs. Thatcher proud. Oh my bad. Shame on me. Wicked wicked woman. I should do penance. So I will. Promise.

Tootles there my fine friends. Ah, a new year, and still nary a flake of white caresses my porch.

 

Flat-Heads Speak Up From Flatlandia

The land where syllogisms are upended and deductive reasoning is banned.

Flatheads abound in our country today. (This comes as news to those who have regarded the long extinct Neandertal flatheads.)

For instance, this gem of non-existent logic:

A new group, called the Center for Marriage Policy, can explain all this marriage equality demand quite simply. Led by none other than our dear anti-feminist, old hag Phyllis Schlafly, whose vagina has been locked down for four decades now, CMP alleges that the marriage equality fight is waged by feminists.

And the reason why? Because these lazy old beotches want to screw the day-lights out of men, while married to women, so as they can collect welfare from government, by forgetting their birth control and making them babies, and because they really hate men anyway, but love that love stick. Confused?  Then you have reached the state of Flatlandia!

The way to sidle up to the African-American folk, according to Newt, it to offer them jobs. Newt, sees the problem: little black kids have zero role models when it comes to the work ethic. His solution? Putting them to work as early as age nine. And bonus: the GOP hates the minimum wage, so of course, they can be paid slave below minimum wage  too. Newt admits that  some of these poor kids do get some work ethic, but only from “illegal” jobs. Can’t wait to see Newt’s favorables skyrocket in the African-American community.

Newt has more advice for other poor folks. Besides his advice, (which no one can seriously argue with) to take a bath before going out to interview,  the salamander has come up with some more good advice. And that is: stop all this unemployment insurance. According to Newt, 20-40% of those who are denied extensions, go out and get a job. Newt of course is silent on the other 60-80%. This is Flatlandia! And this is red meat to Flat-Landers. This from the dude who charges $60,000 for an hour speech. We look pretty damn little from that high perch don’t we Grifter?

Herm Cain says that the country is run by stupid people. In a round world, one might say, “it takes one to know one”, but in Flatlandia, what passes for sage GOP heads, nod in agreement.

  • Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
  • She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up;

These are common pick-ups lines  in Flatlandia. (from 3quarksdaily)

Alleluia! Here in Flatlandia, we have a new website: Women for Herman Cain. We start out by calling out those “husbandless” accusers of poor Mr. Cain. And then the testimonials, of all those women in America who Mr. Cain has not fondled or poked. Do not miss this one folks. Hours of viewing and reading pleasure. In Flatlandia, we take care of our own.

In Flatlandia, Mittens is real. Because in Flatlandia, plastic is what everything is made out of.

Michele Bachmann is starting to flesh out her Presidential team. Donald (he’s still THE HAIR here) Trump for Veep and Rick (still has a Google problem here) Santorum for AG. It is Flatlandia after all.

Newt is heard to exclaim late at night by passers-by his hotel bedroom: “You’re riding the next President, BABY!” This is Flatlandia!

Worries grow in Flatlandia, that recipients of food stamps might be using them to buy unhealthy fast foods. Flat-heads also believe that First Lady Michele Obama should stop trying to tell them what their children should eat in school cafeterias. This is called unnecessary governmental interference in personal lives. Flat-heads are proud of the fact that they can keep two diametrically opposed ideas in their head at the same time, and enunciate either at the drop of a hat, AND with a straight face. It’s a talent most flat-headers are required to accomplish before being allowed to graduate from high school.

Megan McCain, a fine flat-header, has been around politics all her life. She knows a lot. She knows Sarah and she has now met Michele. She had a poor opinion of Michele, that is until she met her. And between the two? Well she had this to say:

“I think she’s — this is going to get me in trouble — but I actually I think she’s just more smarter.”

Yes, you ARE in Flatlandia! Megan, dear, you are more smarter than my dog, almost.

There is a vote coming as to whether or not Mittens will be allowed to remain in Flatlandia. Plenty think he’s not flat enough. Flat-heads are fairly perceptive about such things. They can smell a fake. If they like the smell, they keep ‘em, if not they throw them back. Mittens is like a used-car salesman who knows he’s a used-car salesman.

Finally, in Flatlandia, words are important, and everyone must use good english. Here is a primer to help you negotiate the flatness of the land.

  • Don’t say ‘capitalism.’
  • Don’t say that the government ‘taxes the rich.’ Instead, tell them that the government ‘takes from the rich.’
  • Republicans should forget about winning the battle over the ‘middle class.’ Call them ‘hardworking taxpayers.’
  • Don’t say ‘government spending.’ Call it ‘waste.’
  • Don’t ever say you’re willing to ‘compromise.’
  • The three most important words you can say to an Occupier: ‘I get it.’
  • Out: ‘Entrepreneur.’ In: ‘Job creator.’
  • “Climate change” is less frightening than “global warming”
  • Don’t ever ask anyone you want them to ‘sacrifice.’
  • Always blame Washington.

Master wordman, Frank Luntz explains how those bad words are always “misinterpreted.”

Hope you have enjoyed your stay. The next flight out to Round Earth, leaves in 20 minutes.

Warning: Those who choose to stay should NOT DRINK THE WATER!

Lassie, Lassie, Go Save Timmy!

I mean, there can be no sadder soul (besides the ever griftin’ Sarah) than our dear boy Timmy. Or T-Paw to us political junkies.

Never was there a man who was so inept in judging the future. First of all, he puts all his chips into one state, where he could not hope to out-spend  Michele, the wild-eyed Mina-SO-tan.

It doesn’t help that T-Paw has all the charisma of a deer tick at a Deep Woods Off convention.

I mean T-Paw looks in a mirror each morning and wonders why he should bother.

He shouldn’t.

So after prematurely ejaculating his presidential hopes after losing the “straw” counting summer fun in Iowa, T-Paw looked around to see who he might bore next.

Weeks later, good old slipper T, realized his faux pax as one after another of the presidential beggars, soared in the polls.

“I coulda been a contenda'” he moaned.

And lord knows it would have done ever so much for his book sales, which is why most of them (save perennial presidential wannabe Mittens) entered the race in the first place.

So then T-Paw moved inexorably down the fatal path of destruction. As if led by a gaggle of evil spirits, he is unable to grasp the right brass ring, coming up again and again with iron.

He decides to back the front-runner, Mittens. He thought that was a sure thing.

He failed to estimate the degree to which the conservative Gollums of the GOP HATE Mittens.

Now it looks like Mittens may fail in his second bid to be king of the mountain, and with it, T-Paws hopes of a continuing paycheck, as Secretary of something-or-other. Such a sad story.

Meanwhile, back at the political party at the end of the universe: the GOP.

What is 15: 7?

The number of available girl-pals (wives or otherwise) spread among the seven male candidates. We left Michele out of this, though goodness knows she might have had a dalliance or 27 given Marcus’ swishy ways.

The winner of course is our very own Hermie who now faces allegations of a 13-year affair to go with the claims of harassment by 4 other women. Hermie says, “here we go again”. It’s not clear if he is referring to the continuing female pop-ups, or to if this is his rally cry to women in bed.

For the record Herm says it’s “all a lie”. He says he will not get out of the race “as long as his wife is behind me.” Dude, that is the problem. She needs to be in front of you, and between you and anything with girl parts.

And Herm’s wife sees the lightbulb go on and realizes finally why she has been plagued by vaginal infections for years.

Duh.

Proof that a little knowledge is no knowledge at all?

Fairleigh Dickenson University did some polling among New Jerseyans and found that the Sunday talk shows do most to inform people. And then there is Fox. Those who watch Fox are less informed than those who watching NOTHING. Asking a broad range of questions about Syria and Egypt, the poll discovered that reading of national newspapers and listening to NPR also pushed up the numbers of those who were “knowledgable”. When it came to OWS, John Stewart watchers knew more, and oddly MSNBC watchers thought the protesters were Republicans!

Quote of the day:

Half of them think like Michelle Bachmann and the other half are afraid of being primaried by someone who thinks like Michele Bachmann. — Barney Frank, on Congressional Republicans

Stolen from Hysterical Raisins:

Pretty darn cute huh? Pretty darn accurate.

Oh and don’t miss this:

It comes from the Blaze.

But I have no question about its authenticity.

It is a walking advertisement for the immediate passage of a constitutional amendment barring women from voting, or working in jobs higher than cashier.

These are the women who give women a bad name.

These are our secret shame:

The Clare Booth Luce Policy Institute and Human Events, join forces to present “the most influential conservative women in the US.”  (drum rolls are appropriate, and do add some trumpets)

  1. Sarah Palin. Whirlwind mama Wasilla gal. Long time grifter, dreamer of dreams. Role model to no one. She reduces politics and world affairs to nothing more than “gotcha” questions, offered to up-end her apple cart. She thought she had you with lipstick on a pig.
  2. Michele Bachmann. Wild-eyed crazy woman, who is ordered around by pseudo-gay husband Marcus. She knows what should go on in your bedroom, your uterus, and in your school room. Hint: it’s got to do with Jesus and Armageddon. History comes straight from David Barton. Founding Father, John Quincey Adams, ya know, the one who fought against slavery.
  3. Phyllis Shlafly. Has been fighting against women’s rights for decades, all the while traveling around the country, making money, and not staying home pregnant and cooking as she claims all normal women should want to be. Don’t do what I do, do what I say!
  4. Ann Coulter. Keeps writing books that nobody reads. Nobody pays her any mind any more. She has to now fight for even more outlandish things to say in order to be ignored. She thinks she’s attractive, while Michelle Malkin knows she’s not.
  5. Michelle Malkin. Just another outrageous pundit from the moon. Michelle never met a Democrat that was worth keeping alive. She lives in a universe when up is down, down, is up, and Michelle has the microphone. She loves being the center of attention, and is pissed  she got beat out again by Ann Coulter.
  6. Bay Buchanan. Never heard of her.
  7. Marji Ross. Never heard of her. (But Newty praises her, so she must be an idiot.)
  8. Cleta Mitchell. Never heard of her.
  9. Michelle Easton. Never heard of her (But they favor women named Michelle and this one is head of one of the co-founders of the award, so the fix was in.)
  10. Star Parker. I thought this was Star Jones, and I know of her, but not this Parker gal. I think they ran out of women and just made her up.
  11. (Honorary) Margaret Thatcher. Oh leave the poor woman alone. She would find all of this group an embarrassment.

Return to your regular programing.

 

To Be Or Not To Be: The GOP Asks The Folks

It’s starting to make sense finally.

The GOP, I mean.

See, all the rational candidates? They chose not to run. Rational being defined as those that have actual principles that they live or die by. Somebody just forgot to inform Michele and Ricky S of that. And of course Ron Paul, but he would never have listened anyway. He is so principled that he has no chance EVER.

But Mitt and Newt and Ricky P are naturals at this. Karma Karma Karma Chameleon. Just be what the folks want. The folks being the loud-mouthed knuckle-dragging wingbattery right, who can’t tell a  quark from a muon, but can pontificate upon economic trickle-downism at the drop of a hat, without knowing a tinker’s damn about  it. If you asked them who John Maynard Keynes was, they would vote that he was the side-kick of Dobie Gillis (go look it up).

But these are the drooling heads that the desperate types such as described above, find it useful to play to.

 Mittens does it like a over-sized puppy, crashing into his food bowl, sending kibbles flying, all the while grinning from ear to ear, “do ya still love me, huh? Pleeeeze!”

Ricky P, does it dutifully, all the while griping in the limo to his handlers, that “this ain’t none of the fun you guys promised.”

Newt does it with an effete effrontery, that borders on contempt for the very people he courts. “That ought to hold the little fuckers for a while.”

Yes, they are our little troop of mad-ators. The talking head that never held an opinion he wouldn’t change for a vote. Mittens are well documented at this point. The only new one is his recent pretense at shock and disdain for anything called amnesty. Why, only a mere five years ago, Mittens was talking about the necessity to find a means to citizenship for some of our undocumented. Course, now, he recoils in horror at the mere thought. But then, well, it sounded remarkably like what Newty is proposing.

And before you get all soft on the Grifter, let me remind you that Newt is not talking about citizenship as far as I can tell. He merely talks about giving them some paper that allows them to remain. I guess under Newt, we might be looking at creating a permanent class of non-citizens. Some might call that slavery of a sort. Some might. Yes they might.

While we are at it, I suppose we ought to drag out the first of a long list of flippy-flops that the Grifter has gone through. They are at least as long as those of Mittens. Like I said, this is the year of the Flippy-Flopper Candidate.

It is fairly unfair to include either Ricky P or Hermie C in this mix. Neither has had a principle on anything long enough to know what one is. Hermie is still not sure why being “against abortion in any form” is in opposite to “ultimately the mother must make that decision.” He is not sure why he should have to explain HOW he would have done things (any things) differently that President Obama, beyond saying he would gather his people together and “get all the information”. I mean what part of “in the end I will make a decision” don’t you get?

Ricky P just likes all the sparkles and jingles of the whole business. He likes shaking hands, and riding in limos and seein’ parts of the country he never saw before. He likes seein’ those pretty diamonds around the withered necks of old-haggy women who crush their big bosoms against his chest, smelling of Chanel and mothballs, with lipstick bleeding into the creases around their lips. He likes their money more. He figures about fifteen minutes on the way to the next debate is all the time necessary to memorize “his socialist policies” and “fire the FED.” 

 I see it this way:

Mittens has a pathological need to be president. This is some proof for him that he is “somebody”. It may come from daddy issues. He may suffer from what so many of the rich-by-proxy kids suffer from–lack of self-esteem. Who knows. I ain’t no head doctor. But the man’s insane need to attain the office makes his a loose cannon. I can honestly, all snark aside, tell you I have NO CLUE WHAT THIS MAN BELIEVES IN ABOUT ANYTHING.

Ricky is just a puppy dog who has been praised for being a good dog. He is faithful. He is ever-pleasing. As long as he gets his treat, he’s loyal and will do your bidding. He will chase down that pheasant, and bring it back to lay at your feet, and never puncture that  skin and take a taste. He trusts that you will reward him heavily if he is good. Ricky is owned by a string of high bidders, who have no interest but their own. They tell Ricky they are doing the public good, but Ricky is just a dumb dog, and so he believes it. He is dangerous like dumb Dubya was dangerous. They are led.

Hermie is a “self-made” man, who cringes at the thought that African-Americans have worked decades if not more than a century to give him the opportunity he now enjoys. He has no where else to look for his own self-worth, and he ain’t about to give it up to his people. He was too scared to march in the 60’s so he moved up the ladder of opportunity by being the House Negro. In his mind, he thinks he’s being slick, using whitey to achieve. His little wealth is a joke to the Kochs, who are the ones using him. He has outlasted his usefulness at this point, and will be thrown to the curb of “used up.”

Newt is an arrogant bully. He is proud of the fact that can make a buck without working. He’s a classic grifter, who now that he has the dough he wants, wants the power. He actually believes he’s smarter than anyone else. He blatantly discards women when they are no longer useful to him; meaning they not longer enhance his high-power persona. He changes positions as necessary to attract the rabble vote, all the while being utterly contemptuous of the “little and dirty” people. He is seriously dangerous, because he will do what the hell he wants to, legal or otherwise.

That’s the circus guys.

The only question: How many are gonna come and pay to see it?

 

Iowa Representative Steve King Enters the GOP Presidential Race!

Crawling out from under the rock where he lives, Iowa’s shame, Rep. Steven King, announced through his lawn mower man/shrink campaign manager, that Steve would be entering the race within the week.  When asked what prompted this late move, Juan Hernandez (who wears his citizenship papers stapled to his cap) indicated that since the Republican voters were willing to support even Newt Gingrich, the time was ripe for a new face.

Word has it that Louis Gohmert (GOP house member from some God-forsaken district in TEX-ass) was also considering the move as well. “The bar is LOW enough now”, Louis was heard to exclaim.

A frantic call was placed to the RNC headquarters by Nancy Reagan, explaining that she had a lock of Ronnie’s hair, and that ought to be good enough to qualify to be NOT MITTENS too.

Reince Preibus, or “rinsed Penis” as he is known to his friends, hurriedly called a press conference trying to stem the flood of new candidates.

“We are a party of sanity. We have a wonderfully intelligent array of top-notch candidates who have shown an amazing ability to engender wide-wide support among the Republican voters in America. The fact is, our party is so kind that it wants no one to feel left out. Rick Santorum, even with his massive Google problem, was scheduled to be next on the list of “leading the pack”. But be assured, we have only one goal, and that is to beat that awful nearly Communistic, foreign sounding, not quite looking like you and me, teleprompter needing, Hussein creature at all costs. And you can be sure that when we do, everything will go back to the good old days when white people ruled everything, and everybody else knew their place. All hail Corporations!  Thank you.”

King, screeched. Gohmert drooled, and Nancy smiled kindly at the nice young man who patted her hand, and led her back to her rocker.

Meanwhile, in Gotham. . . .

I mean seriously, did anyone think the Super Committee would agree on something?

WorldNewsDaily has an exclusive! The upcoming year, 2012, could in fact be the end of the world. Yes indeed. Some pseudo-nut-writer-researcher of dead monkeys, has looked at all kinds of pagan religions, and found that some nexus exists between them, and Cortez, and Nimrod from the Bible, and George Washington, and the ides of March, and Habanero peppers. (read major MAJOR conspiracy going  back to the beginning of time itself). No really, go read this crap. It will make you feel soooo very sane.

Bob Cesca has a really good post on the “the rise and fall and rise of Newt Gingrich”. Sharpen up those debate points here. He goes through all the flipping and flapping of the megalomaniac known as the Newtster.

I love the GOP. They never met a principle they were unwilling to ignore. We all know their mantra about the BLESSED and SACROSANCT CONSTITUTION. They would tell you that God herself wrote the document, moving the hands of Thomas and Benjamin and Sam.

Except when it gets in their way. Like when they think it needs to be amended to suit their social agenda.

Except when it interferes with their world view.

Now Gingrich knows at least of what he speaks. He has blatantly said in his “I’m smarter than anyone” tone, that he would simply ignore any contrary SCOTUS pronouncements as they relate to matters of “national security”. Never mind that that tent is big enough to include just about anything you need it to.

But at the latest “family values” forum in Iowa, the candidates were all over each other trying to out do, the blubbering confessions of personal struggle all the while trying to out “right” each other.

So the poor hapless Herm got sucked into that dark black hole again. Now remember, Herm had once upon proudly admonished us to “read our Constitution” which he arrogantly waved in front of us. He quoted from it. But it wasn’t the constitution he quoted, but the Declaration of Independence.

Well, you would think he would learn to just “STFU” but no. His ego took the bait, and Herm too suggested that if SCOTUS should agree that the DOMA was unconstitutional, he, the HERMANATOR, would “lead the charge” to overturn that “whether that was new legislation coming out of Congress” or something else, he couldn’t think of.

Except you can’t overturn a SCOTUS ruling on unconstitutionality by “overturning it” you idiot. Herm, go away now.

To be fair, Herm has no idea he would be acting illegally. He doesn’t understand this stuff. Herm, do not take Newt as your new mentor. He’s a dictatorial wannabe. You are just stupid.

Kevin Drum, weighs in on how and what the alternative reality of the far Right is. If you pay any attention at all to the political landscape, then you have often scratched your head, and wondered, “how in the hell could anyone believe that?” Yet they do, and they call us all manner of brain-dead “libtards” who can’t see the obvious.

Drum suggests that when you constantly try to make the right feel guilty about their “beliefs” you get a party that rushes into the breach figuring it can cast a net and make a good harvest of loyal voters. And it’s worked to a degree. It works rather well on the small scare (i.e., the district level), not so well on the state and national level. And with an idiot for a candidate, it hopefully will fail rather miserably in 2012.

But that’s another story.

Are ya gettin’ ready? Is the bird defrosting?