The Stupid Chronicles April 27, 2013

Look closely at the picture attached here. This is the face of lunacy. You now know exactly what to look for when you casually saunter down the street. When you see lunacy, run!

This man’s name is James Tracy. No not Dick Tracy. He bears not brain-sharing with the great detective of comics. No James is one of those rare nuts who actually somehow made it through grad school and got a degree, and purports to teach our youth.

If you have a child enrolled in Florida Atlantic, I’d suggest you shut off the funds now, and get your kid immediately.

James is certifiable. James “teaches” (I use the term loosely of course) communications and, get this, conspiracy theory. James is a conspiracy. A conspiracy to appear like a normal human being.

James believes the Boston Marathon bombing was “staged”. For all the world, to him, it looks like a pre-organized drill.

In short, the event closely resembles a mass-casualty drill, which for training purposes are designed to be as lifelike as possible. Since it is mediated, however, and primarily experienced from afar through the careful assemblage of words, images, and the official pronouncements and commentary of celebrity journalists, it has the semblance of being for all practical purposes “real.”
….

With the above in mind, photographic evidence of the event suggests the possibility of play actors getting into position after the detonation of what may in fact have been a smoke bomb or similarly benign explosive.

And goody of all goodies there is a video!

And you can read more of Tracy’s insanity at his own blog.

New Hampshire makes another appearance in the crazy parade with an entry from their state legislature. Stella Trembley, oh STELLLLLLA, what have you done now?

Stella no doubt in communication with Mr. Tracy, has her own theories about the Boston Marathon bombing.

Stella pays attention to that great witless Beck, so she posted this on Beck’s site:

Just as you said would happen. Top Down, Bottom UP. The Boston Marathon was a Black Ops “terrorist” attack. One suspect killed, the other one will be too before they even have a chance to speak. Drones and now “terrorist” attacks by our own Government. Sad day, but a “wake up” to all of us. First there was a “suspect” then there wasnt. Infowars broke the story and they knew they had been “found out”.
http://youtu.be/axQtAFtmtVA

Yes, I’m sure that Stella believes that George Bush ordered the 9/11 tragedy as well.

Note as well that the YouTube link she gave on her comment is from none other than career nut Alex Jones.

We did mention that Ms. Stella is a Republican didn’t we? No? Well you knew that anyway didn’t you?

One thing you can be sure of, the stupids are well, really really stupid. That’s why they are so endearing, when they are not annoying gnats in need of swatting.

Such is the case of Representative Tom Shaw, who resides at the Iowa State House, where he plays tiddlywinks most of the day long until it’s time for his chocolate milk and nap break.

Tommy is still mighty angry at the justices of the Iowa Supreme Court, who several years ago had the temerity to actually follow the constitution and declare Iowa’s refusal to allow gays to marry, well, unconstitutional.

Tommy figured out a neat plan to punish the four remaining justices (three were defeated for re-election after a tissue of lies campaign forged by one VanderPlatts and his homophobic friends).

Tommy has offered up a bill directed just at these four justices, cutting their salaries from $163, 200, to just $25,000.

Tommy thinks it’s constitutional.

Tommy is of course an idiot.

Tommy can usually be spotted at the capital building in Des Moines, being led around by his thinking-brain dog Charles.

Tommy also wears Depends and poops in them regularly, so people learn to take a wide berth when seeing him.

From Iowa, we move a bit north and east to my original neck of the woods–Michigan.

Here we find Gloria Platko, a Democrat up in Buena Vista County. She doesn’t seem particularly fond of township supervisor Dwayne Parker, whom she referred to with the “N” word.

She also adjectived that word with “arrogant”.

Gloria, poor dear, was unaware that she was being taped when she made the remarks.

She regrets them of course. NOW.

She assures us she is no racist, because in that time-honored defense, “she’s eaten Thanksgiving dinner at the homes of blacks before.”

She said she probably should have used the word ignoramus.

Sorry, Gloria, that word is taken. You have that dubious distinction of owning the word.

Give back your salary.

It’s always a good bet that Donald Trump can make a stupid list.

The first question or observation one makes about The Donald, is how could stupid make that much money?

Donald doesn’t like Jon Stewart much.

That would be obvious, since Stewart, like all good thinking people tends to point out Donald’s numerous stupid moments.

Donald has another major flaw other than being stupid. He’s very thin-skinned and fights back, hate to use the phrase, but it fits, “like a girl.”

You know what I mean, all snotty and so forth.

So to “get back” at Stewart for being, well, really brilliant at what he does, Trump said,

I am smarter than Jon Stewart will ever be because he is so stupid and because his real name is not even Jon Stewart. It’s something much more Jewish-y. So, ha! Also: he is overrated.

He tweeted it too.

So there, Jon Stewart: It’s all out now. You’re a JEW!, or Jewish-y at least. Take that!

Trumpet head remains, as always,  an idiot.

Oh Gosh, that was a joke Donald, don’t sue me!

Related articles

• N.H. State Rep. Stella Tremblay – “What am I going to apologize for? Asking questions?” (willyloman.wordpress.com)
• Boston Marathon Bombing Conspiracy: Attack Was U.S. False Flag, Says Florida Professor (latinospost.com)

The Stupid Chronicles for April 20, 2013

Oh don’t mind me, I’m just acting like a Hispanic. Yes dear Louis the Lunatic tops our list today. But it was a close call I tell ya. Louis never fails to deliver the one two punch of stupid all wrapped up in crazy nearly every week. We sometimes wonder if Louis has a bank of writers who dream up his lines, but on reflection that would surely tip the balance and throw civilization into a retrograde orbit.

Louis dear Louis has a gem for us today. Let me put it thusly. Louis viewed Rodin’s the Thinker, and opined, “why is that dude taking a shit in public?”

Louis doesn’t have a pet rock, he’s the pet rock’s pet.

Louis knows his terrorists and he is here to tell you what he has learned. Islamic terrorist organizations are busy helping their Arab folks “act Hispanic” so they can cross the border from Mexico into America. (added joy: there is a video!)

Yes you heard it here.

Although Louis had no opinion of who caused the Boston Marathon bombings at the time he said this, he was pretty darn sure that a fence is the way to go. After all, Israel’s suicide bombings stopped when they built their fence, he offered, unaware that that is not at all true. A good guess is always good enough for Louis.

Compatriot idiot Steve King (R-IA) nodded in agreement and said that the immigration reform bill should be held up, because surely this bombing was caused (he thinks) by some student on a visa.

Louis offered no ideas about how one “acts” Hispanic. Several racist theories comes to mind, but Louis stopped short of asking people to be on the watch for the “typical” Hispanic behaviors. He did whisper that a dead giveaway that you were dealing with a “pretend” Hispanic was to offer him a jalapeño pepper and see if he cries out in anguish and calls for water after taking a bite.

Texas takes our number two spot as well, which isn’t a big surprise–it’s a big state with big idiots in it.

This is Ms. Ester Irene Stokes. She’s a school teacher in Texas. Or was, or confound it, she probably got herself a medal now.

Anyway, she was accused of fondling one of her female students. Now Ms. Stokes is 61 and the child in question was seven. So that is very bad stuff.

So Ms. Stokes tells police and anyone else who will listen that she is not guilty.

You probably assumed that didn’t ya?

Yes, well she has a rather unique defense.

She says that she is such a racist that she can barely stand to touch those little black girls in her class. The mere touch of their hands gives her the heebie jeebies and sends her off to wash off that black skin feel. I mean she actually cringes when the little nappy heads try to hug here, which must happen once every ice age at least.

There have been no responses by the school in question as to whether Ms. Stokes was still employed. What ya wanna make a bet she won’t have any trouble finding another job in some parts of the country at least.

No doubt that face will be forever seared in your brain.

Third on our hit parade for the week is Maine’s governor Paul LaPage.

Now Paulie has come to our attention before as you can note from some of his best work at the right.

But he kinda ran out of material for a little while. After the last couple of days though, I think he’s back in fighting form.

The Bangor News seems to have a particularly low opinion in the Guv, suggesting that he “makes things up” a lot.

Well, Paul is at it again. Paul doesn’t like wind power. He thinks it’s somehow un-American, being all cheap and non-polluting and such. Oil and Gas don’t like air power and that’s enough for big Paul.

So Paul said, “Now, to add insult to injury, The University of Maine, Presque Isle – anybody here been up there to see that damn windmill in the back yard? Guess what, if it’s not blowing wind outside and they have somebody visiting the campus, they have a little electric motor that turns the blades. I’m serious. They have an electric motor so that they can show people wind power works. Unbelievable. And that’s the government that you have here in the state of Maine.”

Of course, no such thing is true. The University says there is no “little motor”.

All this would be funny, and it is, but the answer to Paulie’s nonsense is that he’s touched in the head. Read crazy as a loon. Read, coming up on Louis’s shoulder and threatening to pass.

Paulie intends to run for re-election. He predicts that the teacher’s unions better watch out, cuz he’s coming for them. And his new idol? Well that ever-favorite of Wisconsin, Scott Walker.

“I will guarantee you that you will see the most vicious education campaign ads that you’ve ever seen in your life next year, because I am going to be the next Scott Walker in this country, because I am challenging the status quo.”

No, Paulie is challenging the all-time low IQ in the USA. I am putting my bets he will win.

Fourth is a new face for us, GOP House Representative from Iowa, Dennis Guth.

Guth is one of those self-styled experts on the issue of homosexuality.

Guth first focused on the media and accused them of making that homosexual lifestyle seem good and nice, when we all know it’s really yucky.

See, Guth says, homosexuals are like “second-hand” smoke, they cause harm to those around them who are normal. They cause health risks to his family he says, by their increased invitation to transmittable sexual diseases. He opines that there are “more medical tests required” before you can give blood or birth. He thinks they are connected but forgot to say how.

Other than that, Guth was unable to explain why their diseases would “harm” his family, unless of course one posits that either he or members of his family regularly engage the services of willing homosexuals for ummm, sex.

Guth is an idiot, and his Democratic colleague told him so.

Our fifth and last entry for the week comes from good old Arkansas, a state that often shows us the butt end of humanity.

Nate Bell, is (you guessed it) a REPUBLICAN state rep from good old Ar-KANSAS, who is a protector of the 2nd Amendment, which he neither understands, nor defends with anything other than yippie-ki-yo-ki-yay blather.

Well, inside that fun face is a very human and very empathetic individual. So as soon as he heard about the manhunt going on in Boston and its environs, wondered via Twitter:

I wonder how many Boston liberals spent the night cowering in their homes wishing they had an AR-15 with a high-capacity magazine?

I mean how sympathetic can a guy be?

I mean really?

Nate withdrew the Tweet once it was pointed out to him that he was being a total douche. Of course it was up long enough for a long list of people to tell him that.

Good luck Nate on re-election.

And if you have not run into these videos (YouTube has several by the same guy), then sit back and for a couple of minutes, just chortle your little heart out. Dry up your tears at the above and replace with belly laughs.

Related articles

• LePage Spins Windmill Conspiracy Theory (thetippingpoint.bangordailynews.com)
• Outrage as Rep. Gohmert says radical islamists being trained to act Hispanic (nbclatino.com)

 

The Chronically Stupid Aways Find an Obtuse Angle

So much stupid, so little time to expose it all.

First there is the Daily Caller. The Daily Caller is a piece of stupid run by Tucker Carlson, from Fox Noise. The Daily Collection of Stupid leaves no stone unturned in its attempt to be irrelevant, stupidly funny, and masterful in its invention of new ways to be stupid every day.

You no doubt have always known that the Reactionary Right, of which the Daily Curd attempts to be the voice for, is a huge supporter of gay rights? You’re not aware of that? Well, slap yourself silly dumb person and listen up.

You see, it’s a crying shame, that compromise bill worked out by Senators Manchin and Toomey. Those darn Democrats, always seeking to betray and abuse their gay brothers and sisters.

The bill, Daily Crap points out, will discriminate against gay gun owners. See if you can figure out why?

Figured it out yet?

Well, you see, in states that don’t recognize gay marriage, said gay gun owner will be forced to submit his or her partner to a background check before selling them or giving them a gun for Christmas. That’s because the “family exception” to the proposed new law would not be recognized in non-same-sex marriage recognizing states.

Yes, indeed. I kid you not as they say.

I guess they forgot the provision about neighbor-to-neighbor transfers. I mean what can be more neighborly than actually living in the same house? Seems about as friendly as neighbors can get doncha think?

I gave you the link, lest you think I was pulling your leg, or attempting a frontal lobotomy with a rusty butter knife.

Next on our hit parade of stupid is the ever growing legend of another of those Texas wonders, Steve Stockman.

You remember Steve right? The Texan Representative who decided it was a great idea to invite Ted Nugent, aging rocker with like two old hits over 30 years old, who loves guns more than he loves his kids, and all around crazy conspiracy-laden anti-Obama screamer, to the State of the Union speech? THAT Steve Stockman?

Well this is his new way of attracting the marvelous people who contribute to his campaign to continue being a public nuisance.

This is his newly designed bumper sticker which you can attach to the bumper of your car, horse, or forehead, proclaiming you too are stupid as hell.

Is there anything left to say here? Stockman is offensive on just about all of Dante’s levels of hell.

But my favorite this week? Oh that was easy. You probably heard about the kerfuffle about Melissa Harris Perry’s promo for her show on MSNBC? Where she talks about the education of our children and suggests that children just don’t belong to their parents, but in fact belong to the entire community?

The Really Really Ridiculous Right started fainting and running for smelling salts on that one. One heard the immediate refrain, “COMMUNISM” expounded by the likes of Rush, the Drudge, Daily Caller, and Newsbusters.

Newsbusters said this: “. . .the notion of collective responsibility for children was a philosophy that undergirded the Cultural Revolution in Communist China under Chairman Mao. I bring that up because, as you may recall, another Harris-Perry “Lean Forward” spot contains a reference to a “great leap forward,” which calls to mind the disastrous agricultural reform plan which starved millions of Chinese to death in the 1950s.”

Sarah, “HEY, remember me?” Palin tweeted: Apparently MSNBC doesn’t think your children belong to you. Unflippingbelievable.

Rush ME MORE DRUGS Limbaugh said: So how does this manifest itself? So you need your yard mowed, what do you do?” he continued. “You go knock on the door down the street — your kid that you don’t own. I do today. For the next hour, your kid is going to mow my yard. And then after that, my trash needs taking out and after that I need somebody to go to the grocery store for me and my kid’s tied up, so I’m claiming your kid. How does this work?”

From the Lonely Conservative (who decries a new promo declaring that people have basic human rights to education, food, housing and so forth): Maybe in her next promo she can just come out and quote directly from the Communist Manifesto.

Okay folks, settle down. Let’s recall a few things. There is a rather famous saying, “it takes a village to raise a child.” That is in fact the title of one of Hillary Clinton’s books. Let’s not forget that we all pay property taxes wherever we live, and part of that money goes directly to support local school systems. Guess what? Those who are not parents pay them as well, on the theory that EVERYONE  has a stake in children being educated.

Has everyone on the Right forgotten the “good old days”? You remember when extended families lived together and everyone thought that all children were so much better off having more people busy raising them? Remember the Waltons? Remember when we were children and the teacher as “loco parentis” was considered “always right” if we were disciplined? Remember when any neighbor had a perfect right to correct your behavior if not physically, at least verbally?

Do we not all have a stake in the future of our next generation of teachers, lawyers, doctors, soldiers, and seamstresses? These are the folks who will govern the country when we are using our walkers in the hallways of senior facilities.

I mean how stupid can you be to see something sinister in what Ms Harris-Perry said? How much must you twist and distort it to make it look dangerous and “otherly”?

Do you not see that it is exactly this utterly over-the-top reaction to something so innocent and benign and TRUE, that makes even the fairly non-interested middle of America think the far Right has more than a few screws loose? The GOP and it’s cadre of stupid are swirling into the sinkhole of oblivion and pretty much nobody cares.

Next: RED Jello is a Commie plot with nanobots invading your body and indoctrination in each red sugary gelatin grain.

Related articles

• Rep. Steve Stockman, super genius (dailykos.com)
• MSNBC host thinks your kids are her kids & vice versa (theblaze.com)
• Because Melissa Harris-Perry is That Good, Limbaugh and Palin Are Attacking Her (thisblksistaspage.wordpress.com)
• Glenn Beck: Harris-Perry’s Public Education Promo Part of UN Conspiracy to Collectivize Children (crooksandliars.com)

 

Can You Stand the Excitement?

It’s been another long week. It’s been a productive one. All the usual stuff and lots of home improvement stuff going on.

We have the fence around the front nearly done. The guy will be back this weekend to finish off the last side with the gate. He’ll weld on site. And then paint and we will be done.

Ernest, our great handy man is going to tile the “front porch”. He’s looking for some tiling to make some patterns with. Turquoise is our favorite color, or mine at least.

The Contrarian finished two L-shaped flower boxes to rim the walk leading to the front door. And he plans two more, a long box underneath the bedroom window which will be a about 6 feet in length and a triangle one that will sit in the corner of the fencing. It’s a nice beginning to our jazzing up the front. We actually like to sit out there, and Diego will soon be able to keep track of everyone in the neighborhood without wandering down to see “how everybody’s doing.”

In the back, I have a few more planters to do. The flowers are lined up and ready to go. We’ve got our vegetables and plenty of top soil to fill the planters. That’s tomorrow’s job. We’re planning one more long planter for the back south wall yet.

All in all, we’ve been adding a lot to the place. Ernest has another couple french doors that we may just cut down and install as long windows to frame out the patio area. That would leave it enclosed on three sides and open just at the end. That makes at very cozy, while we can open two of the french doors and get additional breezes when needed. A flat screen will be put in the corner, and we should be having ourselves basically another room to enjoy.

I signed up at Santa Rosa yesterday. Such a forlorn little church, but the new one, should it ever be finished, will be wonderful. It’s styled as an old adobe mission church. They were well on the way to finishing when the economic bottom fell out of the economy, and bank loans dried up. It’s been on hold for a few years now. Hopefully our new bishop will see fit to steer some funding toward finishing the building. I don’t know a lot about parish financing, but I think each is required to stand on its own feet financially. The people there are so warm and loving, that I cannot but think that good things will happen.

Just to keep you up on things. The 5/2 “diet” plan, of fasting two days and eating normally is working very well. I barely notice the fasting days, starting and ending at 1 pm on Tuesday-Wednesday, an Thursday-Friday. I’ve lost five pounds over the first month, which is slow, but steady, and like I said, I barely notice I’m “dieting”. I’m looking at this as the normal way for me to eat and live from now on. I know Larry had done fabulously well on his vegetarian diet. I salute his bravery and commitment.

Hey if you see that little twit, Kim Jong Un around anywhere, grab him. What that kid needs is a good spanking. Did anybody ever tell him that you can’t sabre rattle without a sabre? Or is he simply seeking to declare war on American for the foreign aid once defeated?

If you want to know what is so very wrong with Congress, you need look no further than Senator Roy Blunt. He’s the (in the hip pocket of agribusiness) jackass who with the help of Monsanto, added a rider to an unrelated bill, which protects Monsanto from being sued over it’s genetically altered foods. Monsanto of course contributes big to Blunt’s war chest. The rider is specific to Monsanto. Blunt added it “anonymously” as Senators are allowed to do, but word finally got out that he was the culprit. Blunt is known as one of the worst “bought and paid for” politicians around and was a favorite of criminal Tom DeLay during his House years.

You know, I sometimes wonder if Republicans think of anything else but butt sex and bestiality. I mean Louis Gollllly Gohmert said that opening the door to marriage equality would lead to “animal love.” As Jon Stewart put it, “do they really think that people are going around thinking. . . .”God that goat looks good, but dang, it’s illegal!”. Now the Attorney General of Virginia and probably candidate for governor, Ken Cuccinelli,  is just not gonna let the state sodomy law go down the tubes without a fight. He’s petitioning the Federal court to reconsider its conclusion that the law was unconstitutional on its face. I mean dude, do you have nothing better to do? I’m beginning to think that Republicans are some sick mothers.

If any of you have ever heard of Wilcox County High School, well you are doing better than me. You have no doubt heard of those Japanese soldiers who have lived for 60 years on South Pacific islands, never knowing that WWII ended? Well, At Wilcox County High, they never heard of the civil rights movement. That’s in Georgia of you weren’t aware?

Seems that the school holds and HAS ALWAYS held two proms. . . .one integrated, and the other “whites only”. And it’s just not in name only either. In 2012, a biracial student was turned away by police for trying to attend the Whitie prom. The school has no intention of changing things either.

There is no longer any racism in America. Let’s make that very clear.

See ya Saturday–It’s the FINAL FOUR! GO ANYBODY BUT MICHIGAN CUZ I HATE THAT SCHOOL!

Related articles

• Sen. Roy Blunt: Monsanto’s Congressional Judas (amresolution.com)
• Surprised? Monsanto Openly Wrote Own Monsanto Protection Act (12160.info)
• Top Senator Apologizes for Monsanto Protection Act (blacklistednews.com)

Stupid Keeps Chasing Me!

Seriously, this is getting dumb. I mean I really don’t have time to spend every day dealing with all this stupidity. I used to figure that we got along pretty darn fine if there was five stupid to every ninety-five normally intelligent people.

I’m beginning to be shocked that humanity can evolve at all, given that I think the ratio is nearly 45 to 55 by now. How does the planet survive this heavy weight of just god-awful stupid?

Case in point.

Now David Brooks is not stupid all the time. He has fits and starts of actual intelligence that float to the surface of his cerebellum now and again. Which is the down side of the scale of brains, since the upside is having the stupid float to the surface now and them, and the intelligence being the norm.

Anyway, the stupid Brooks did one of his pieces in the NYTimes, and had a few things to say about gays and the marriage issue. Brooks decided that by requesting the SCOTUS to recognize the absolute right of gay folks to marry like anyone else, they were taking a step backward when it comes to freedom.

What you say?

Yes, after scrambling his brain sells with a bit of spinach and a wad of chewing gum, David determines that since marriage is giving up freedom, well, gays made a serious mistake. They have given up their hedonism for the restrictions of marriage–you know, obligations and commitments. In the same breath he then reminds us that unfettered freedom leads to utter decay and licentiousness the likes not seen since the bawdy days of Caligula’s Rome.

David seems confused.

Marriage is one of those institutions — along with religion and military service — that restricts freedom. Marriage is about making a commitment that binds you for decades to come. It narrows your options on how you will spend your time, money and attention.

Whether they understood it or not, the gays and lesbians represented at the court committed themselves to a certain agenda. They committed themselves to an institution that involves surrendering autonomy. They committed themselves to the idea that these self-restrictions should be reinforced by the state. They committed themselves to the idea that lifestyle choices are not just private affairs but work better when they are embedded in law.

“Men are qualified for civil liberty in exact proportion to their disposition to put moral chains upon their own appetites. … Society cannot exist unless a controlling power upon will and appetite be placed somewhere, and the less of it there is within, the more there must be without. It is ordained in the eternal constitution of things that men of intemperate minds cannot be free. Their passions forge their fetters.” (Edmund Burke).

If one gets past the utter condescension toward the gay community and “perhaps you really haven’t thought this through,” mentality, you get the distinct notion that Brooks is more about having come up with an interesting counterpoint rather than having a clear message here.

Yes David, you made a lovely poopoo, now flush the toilet and get to your nap. Brooks seems to be riding the fence in the best tradition of the conservative movement. By the by, Matt Taibbi has a great take down on Brook’s post, here at Rolling Stone.

I’m pretty sure that if you are having trouble dribbling the toothpaste out of the tube in the morning, it’s probably one of your “off” days in terms of being intelligent and smart. Take my advice–eat ice cream and watch cartoons until your intellect kicks in again. Please don’t bore us with stupid.

¢

Just Hit That Woman With a Stupid Stick Or Honoring Fools on April Fools Day

Their back!!! Actually they never left.

The extremists in the GOP just can’t stop blabbering about all things sexual. In their expertise, we learn so much, so much it makes you want to run to the nearest cliff and throw yourself off.

The Chair of the Georgia GOP has some thoughts about legalizing marriage between same-sex persons. Seems, in the ranging meanderings of her tiny pimple of a brain, she’s come up with the REAL reason it should be forbidden–not all that religious stuff (although she points out, it is surely “unnatural” to be sure), but on good old Republican principles: FRAUD.

Yes that which strikes at the very heart of any Republican (the pocketbook) is why we should prevent this awful thing from happening.

Her reasoning? Well let me give you her version:

You may be as straight as an arrow, and you may have a friend that is as straight as an arrow,” Everhart said. “Say you had a great job with the government where you had this wonderful health plan. I mean, what would prohibit you from saying that you’re gay, and y’all get married and still live as separate, but you get all the benefits? I just see so much abuse in this it’s unreal. I believe a husband and a wife should be a man and a woman, the benefits should be for a man and a woman. There is no way that this is about equality. To me, it’s all about a free ride.”

Ya see the logic there? Sure you do.

I betcha Ms. Sue Everhart first got that notion from hearing about men and women doing the same darn thing to get those benefits. I bet she did. No gay person ever married a straight person for that reason. Nope, logically? Nope.

HIT THAT WOMAN WITH A STUPID STICK

Ô

Yes it’s another Republican. Funny how all these stories end up being about the whacked Right.

North Carolina seems well on the way of figuring out how to support marriage. You are asking for the answer right?

The answer seems obvious when you think about it. Just outlaw divorce. State Senator Austin Allran (R) wants to amend the Healthy Marriage Act to make divorce even more difficult to obtain, raising the wait time from one year to two. AND couples must attend classes hoping to ‘splain to the  parties how to communicate better. And you can’t live together during that time, and apparently it would change current law that says that isolated incidents of “doing the nasty” don’t toll the waiting time.

Austin who is never to be confused with Austin Powers and well powers of mental acuity, doesn’t have a good answer for spouses seeking divorce from abusive spouses. He apparently hasn’t thought through the possible up tick in spousal homicide either.

HIT THAT MAN WITH A STUPID STICK

Ô

Chris Brown is 23 years old.

Chris Brown had 52 weeks of counseling.

Chris Brown now assures us that he FINALLY learned it was absolutely wrong to beat women.

HIT THAT MAN WITH A STUPID STICK (TWICE JUST TO BE SURE)

Ô

Remember our dear friends (NOT) Todd Akins (women who are legitimately raped?) and Allen West (I shoulda been court martialed)? Remember among all their nonsense, they were always railing about government waste, and those terrible spending Democrats? Remember them?

Well, lawdy lawdy, we don’t always do as we say others should now do we? The two who were always for cutting funding to every program that had to do with helping the poor–what did they get caught doing?

Just giving huge bonuses (at taxpayer expense of course) to their staffs as a parting goodbye when both LOST their election bids. Of the top 10 most gifting of congress persons, 9 were Republican and of the top 20, 14 were among those ousted by the electorate.

Let’s all get together and ask them to spell H Y P O C R I T E shall we?

HIT BOTH THOSE MEN WITH A STUPID STICK–IN FACT LEAVE IT EMBEDDED IN THEIR BACKSIDES

Ô

The Outraged Right, is often willfully ignorant. Now I know a thing or two about that, since I have FB “friends” who are determined to be just that, and they think I’m calling them stupid, which is proof enough eh?

Well, if you noticed, Google on its search engine did its usual holiday google doodle and instead of honoring the risen Lord, they chose to honor Cesar Chavez whose 86th birthday it would have been and for which March 31 is set aside to honor him.

Well, the Right went mad indeed, claiming that this was all intentional and of course “organized by the White House” who hates Christians if ya were not already aware.

Well, to gum it up, Michelle Malkin, thought Cesar was Hugo and well, that really really pissed them off.

Even when people said, hey Michelle, you confused Cesar with Hugo, well it made them no difference. It was still awful. And they are all moving to Bing, which showed Easter eggs on its search engine, which as everyone knows is properly reminiscent of Jesus (they had deviled eggs at the last supper I’m told with a hint of horseradish).

Well, as you can see, it signals the demise of Christianity in America. Google has tipped the boulder, and it is now careening down the slippery slope into Muslim/Atheism/Secular/Fascism/JimmineyCricketspantsareonfire/hellanddamnation.

HIT THE ENTIRE RIGHTWING RELIGIOSITY IN NAME NOT IN GAME GROUP WITH THE STUPID STICK.

And all of you have a blessed, or cursed April Fools Day.

Related articles

• GOP Rebranding update: All ‘Chavez’s’ look alike (dailykos.com)
• Conservatives freak out after Google honors Cesar Chavez on Easter (rawstory.com)
• Conservatives Outraged by Cesar Chevaz Google Doodle on Easter (truthdig.com)
• North Carolina lawmaker wants to impose a two-year waiting period for divorce (salon.com)

North Dakota Votes Fred Flintstone as Women’s Rights Spokesperson

Dino named Secretary of Education.

This is one state to steer way way clear of. If you even see the letters, DAK, start backing away.

The folks there have returned to living in caves. The signs say brake for Brontosaurus.

Seriously.

In what can only be the happiest marriage between fundamentalism and unscience, the legislature (really four old white dudes sitting around a campfire), have determined that women shall bear all children put upon them by any many who gets a hankering to “get a little.” And the governor, one Dalrymple, really the owner of the local stone quarry, has signed the dang thing into law, or laws as the case may be, because there are several.

Now of course there will be lawsuits since this is just about the opposite of the law of the land. And the good Dalrymple has decided in his rubbing of two brain cells together, that the fair cave citizens of said cave state should pay for that. After all, it’s for their own good.

They have managed to reduce the clinics in the realm to one, and they are determined to put that one out of business by loading it down with so many odious regulations that nobody but God himself could comply.

Now these cave men purport to be Republicans, who last time I checked, were for small government and getting off the backs of business operators. Except of course when they aren’t for that because they are more interested in controlling the lives of women in their cave realm.

Wouldn’t it just be easier to conk them over the head like usual?

As I said, avoid at all costs. Ken Ham is said to be scoping out the area for another of his fun times with science “museums”.

HINT: you know guys, one day women will get a majority in these legislative bodies. You might think about that before you keep screwing with us.

Ä

California, by and large, is a crazy state, but at least half the time, it’s good crazy. That’s a pretty good track record if you throw totally insane places like Alabama into the mix.

Yet, following the Peyton rule that each state is required by law to maintain at least two certifiable simpletons in its band of state or federal legislative arenas, California no doubt counts Rep. Jack Kimble as one of their (hide him in the closet when company comes) boneheads.

Seems that Mr. Kimble is pretty worried about what might happen should the SCOTUS decided that California must allow marriage between people who love each other, without checking under skirts and peeking inside trousers to determine the gender of said love birds.

Kimble in a last gasp of intellectual showmanship, tweeted this:

Jack? Are you worried, or just a wee bit excited by that prospect?

Ä

Fearful that the gay will be just popping up everywhere, Tony Perkins, that nice hateful man who runs the Family Research Council and knows God better than most people know their own toes, suggests that if the SCOTUS makes that fateful decision legalizing all that “nasty stuff”, why people might just rise up and start a revolution.

Yeah, I figure that people are aching to destroy their families, neighborhood, businesses, and such just to make sure that some stranger is not doing the nasty with someone who shares plumbing equipment with them.

But no doubt, it will be a good enough excuse for the survivalists to go out and purchase another half-dozen big guns.

La PeePee Lapierre certainly hopes so anyway.

Ä

There is a group called Concerned Women for America. As best as I can tell, they are women who are concerned about a certain kind of America, one that they control and which they feel comfortable in. They are really mad at Starbucks.

Starbucks, as you may already know, is in favor of marriage equality. So it stands to reason that somebody would make the leaping logical conclusion, that that means that Starbucks will probably soon start discriminating against straight people. Or at least discriminate against straight people who want to (just cuz) discriminate against gay people. I mean, old habits are hard to break.

Oh I do love a dose of stupid with my coffee.

Ä

We understand that Wisconsin Governor, Scott Walker is writing a book.

I know.

You can’t wait to go stand in line to get it autographed  can you?

Reports are that it will be written in crayon and Walker promised it would be in his own words, at least the ones he can spell.

Everyone is delighted that there will be plenty of pictures to color throughout.

There is still a debate as to what category it will fall under for you librarians wanting to dust off a special shelf. Suggestions range from Sci-fi fantasy to Abnormal psychology.

I am putting in my Amazon pre-order.

Yeah, I believe in unicorns too.

 

Related articles

• N.D. lawmakers define start of life, outlaw abortion (usatoday.com)
• North Dakota governor approves 6-week abortion ban (kfwbam.com)