Now That She’s Gone, Word Salad Will Never Be the Same

imagesCall me crazy, sentimental, or just a plain lover of the down and out, but dang, I miss our Sarah. I do. I love the fractured pronunciations and the gobbled sentences, and that perky smile as she pouted about being picked on by the “lame stream media.”

I kid you not, one person from my old high school, called her brilliant, as if the word had suddenly taken on an oxymoronic meaning of “a person who can actually walk without falling absent ninety percent of the grey matter thought to be required to navigate on two feet.” If that is the definition of brilliant, well Sarah wins hands down.

Her loyal duped minions continue to adore her, and that says of course way more about their lack of political acumen, well more about their lack of human acumen even, than it says of the Wasilla Wonder. She says:

“I know the country needs more truth-telling in the media, and I’m willing to do that. So, we shall see…

Yes, Sarah, with your “death panels” and “pallin’ around with terrorists” we sure are in need of that true-telling you offer us.

Still, you can’t fault a woman who has made a career out of grifting her way to millionaire status, all without working hardly at all. Just a wink and nod, and she had 45% of the followers she needed in middle-aged men with greasy chins, who belched, wiped the excess food from their beards, and grinned, “well she sure is a hotty, that Sarah,” as they reached for the Bud in the cup holder. The women who find her so “brilliant?” It’s hard to say, too hard for me to say, since I find her ways demeaning of everything that I think women should stand for. She’s another Phyllis Schlafly parading around in a vagina. You know that underneath all that lipstick is a man trying to get out. Of course Phyllis is was never perky and is now too old to bat eyelashes in return for attention. Sarah still can, and still does, adopting all the latest in fashion:

SarahfashionI mean, I know what those guys mean now. Sure they want to see more of Sarah in the news!

While running up these pics, I happened upon a humor site and found two entries really really funny. Hope you agree! (unfortunately it’s no longer in business)

failed-test-2

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then there is this one:

failed-test-6See? I do have a sense of humor.

Speaking of humor, there is a new Tea Bibber vying for the title of craziest sipper of all time. I know, I know, there are so many, and so little time to get them all in. I’ve often toyed with the idea of doing the “loon of the week” but figured I’d had to pile through some 200 applicants per week, and it just sounded too hard.

Leading anybody’s list is the (wait for it) Representative from TEXAS, Steve Stockman. I don’t of course have to bother with the “R) surely, which stands for rube, which rhymes with boob, and is not close to River City.

So, any hows, Stevie (Steve seems prominent in crazy circles doncha think?), has lots of good ideas that service his constituency well, such as:

  1. Suggesting that then President Clinton staged the  Branch Dividian raid in 1983 as a way to get Congress to pass gun control legislation.
  2. After getting a note thought to be associated with the Oklahoma bombing, Stevie thought it best to turn it over to the NRA first, and then maybe the FBI.
  3. He boldly voted “present” to the election of Boehner for Speaker, after the planned coup came up a vote short.
  4. His first reaction to Sandyhook was to introduce a bill ending “gun free zones”.
  5. He compared the President to Saddam Hussein on Fox, and was cut off.
  6. He argues that the President should be impeached for appointed a permanent head of the ATF by executive order.
  7. He’s bringing as his date to the State of the Union, Ted Nugent who has threatened the President, Hillary Clinton, Diane Feinstein, and Barbara Boxer, calling two of them bitches and whores.

Yeah, I think Stevie qualifies as NUT of the week, don’t you?

Meanwhile (such a great segue word doncha think?), The NRA is busy explaining to folks that listen to them (which means people who are already pretty darn crazy in the first place), how they can go about seceding from the United States, and then going to war with it. Such patriotism! The NRA did not write the following, but allowed it’s distribution at their latest NRA love fest in Wisconsin.

If you understand the Constitution you throw-up every single time you turn on the TV and hear about another thing or program the U.S. Government is ‘going to do for (TO) the American People’. This is a most heinous disease that can only be cured by the constitutional De-Centralized power of our home country of Wisconsin restoring our “supreme Laws” on our Federal public servants within our borders; OR otherwise by a combo Civil/Re-Revolutionary War with the very same goal to restore the Rule of OUR Laws on our elected, non-elected and wannabe elected Republican and Democrat Federal servants through the refreshment of the Tree of Liberty by its natural manure.

The trouble I have is that don’t these folks know that their target audience is fairly illiterate? I’m not sure they can read, let alone understand the message. They respond better to the Nugent method:  “Get your guns! Kill them whores!”  That they understand.

 

 

I Bet Todd Went Fishing

 

 

Dat man and the kids have gone camping some place where the crazy lady don’t know. He knew better than to be around when Sistah Sarah learned that the TV movie, Game Changer did pretty darn well at the Emmys last night.

Oh she was no doubt throwing things, maybe so far that they landed in Russia. Who knows. The lamestream media skewered her once again, reminding America that she was such a ditz-douche, and played a good share in the reason why the old warrior and war-mongering senile mean guy, John S. McCain was not destined to occupy the White House.

I would have liked to have witnessed her ire when Julianna Moore won as best actress. Ms. Moore, laughed and thanked everyone for the validation because as she reported, Ms. Palin had given her performance a “thumbs down.”

But actually she might be secretly pleased, since she loves to play the poor victim, which can be witnessed almost any time she is on Foxy Noise, which I’m guessin’ won’t be too much longer since nobody gives a flying FuManchu what she has to say about nuttin.’ Ahh, fame, thy life can be brief.

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I don’t know if you watched the Great Wonder Willard on 60 Minutes last night or not. But Wiggly Willard actually said that the vast numbers of uninsured under his “non-health care plan” could go to the emergency rooms for treatment. He smiled when he said it. Next question?

Sarah Kliff, writing on Ezra Klein’s blog, Wonk Blog,  points out the fallacy of that stupid answer.

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We keep bringing this up because latest numbers suggest that as many as 10 million people could be prevented from voting across the nation. There are number of brilliant reports on it, and you can find them all listed again at Ezra Klein’s blog. And he has a list of other good reads for the day as well, so go take a scroll down the page!

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Having been on the inside, I know something about the justice system in this country. I know it is filled with unfairness and the rich do better than the poor for sure. I know all about extraordinary judges and incompetent idiots who have all the talent required to affix a widget with a screwdriver and little more. I KNOW there is incompetence, fraud, and a whole lot of cutting of corners to get it done.

That said, NO democracy is gonna be worth a hill of beans if the population at large doesn’t basically accept the judiciary as the final arbiter of LEGAL. You may disagree with a decision, you may think a number of the judges are akin to hyenas. But you accept that whatever is the decision, it was reached because the judge in question REALLY believes that the law should be what he/she says. In other words, their decisions have finality and certitude. They have VALIDITY.

This is now under assault my friends. It started in a big way in Iowa when the Supreme Court there unanimously held that the state had presented absolutely no evidence that validated their decision to refuse same-sex marriage. The Constitution, both state and local, provides that all persons be given due process of law and equal protection of the law. Iowa, could not produce the most anything to justify treating the gay community differently.

Whereupon they struck down the law, and the crazy began. A group set about to make sure that those justices who were up for re-election were defeated. In that they succeeded. I’m told that the move to take out the next three this year, is not doing as well, and perhaps they will fail.

However, there is talk that the Tea Party in Pennsylvania, and the GOP in Florida, plan to attack running Justices of their respective courts for not going along with the GOP desire to prevent as many people from voting as possible.

Worse, it seems that when we await a decision from some court on some important issue, we soon learn which justices are
“Democrats” and which “Republicans”. We are frighteningly, now contemplating that most tough cases are coming down to whether the judge is a Democrat or Republican. We are clearly already there for the most part when it comes to the SCOTUS.

Once the electorate concludes that decisions are not made based on judicial philosophy and law, but merely based on party affiliation, then the rule of law is dead. Witness Rand Paul’s remarks about the AHCA decision by SCOTUS, that it was basically just the “opinion” of a few people.

This issue could prove to be a huge threat to democracy. At least as I see it.

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Finally John Cassidy, over at the New Yorker, asks and answers the question, “Why is Romney Such a Loser?”

 

If I’m Mad, It Must Be March

I’m a bit scattered.

I just realized it. Really I did.

It has to do with numerous things. March Madness has begun.

You must have noticed. MSU is #1 in the Western division.

We have run off the brackets.

. . . I’ve begun packing again. The weather is so great that we are getting an early spring, so there is no point in waiting any longer. We can get a POD delivered most any time I suspect. The lane is drying out pretty well.

The list of things to do is enormous, hence my scatteredness.

I figure I have made the last major shopping trip to town. No more fancy eatin’ for us. We must eat down as much of the freezer as possible. Haphazardly put together concoctions of frozen “stuff”.

I’ll have to stop posting recipes I guess. I hiatus until we get moved and find a house to buy, and move in and get settled. It sounds like it will take months. It probably will.

I’ll have to stop this blog for some time as well. I don’t like to think of that. Who knows what we will find at the state park we will inhabit while we house hunt? Who knows.

It makes my head hurt to think about it. Better to just dumbly plug along.

But I’m feeling light and free at the moment. I packed three boxes of dishes. I made pico de Gallo and refried beans and spicy meat. We’re having tostados for dinner.

I’m sickened by the killing in Afghanistan. I’m forced to conclude that we need to leave NOW. It’s a mess, no hope of correcting it. Just a mess.

I saw something so cool on the news Saturday I believe it was. PBS is having its festival and we are forced to the Mainstream. Anyway, this guy, in memory of his mother, who loved books, created a large mailbox sized box, placed it on a pole, stuck it at the sidewalk, and filled it with some books. All with a sign that said: Take a book, give a book. The idea is spreading. People are creating their own “mini-libraries” made from all sorts of cute stuff, and sticking them where people can get to them.

The Contrarian says he will make one and we can put it up at the end of our driveway in New Mexico. I told him he could make them and sell them as well. He’s looking for some kind of woodworking hobby to take up when we move. It’s a good idea, this mini-library thing. Think about it.

As you may have heard, Gary Trudeau is doing a series on Doonesbury this week on the Texas sonogram law. Some papers are refusing to carry it. Juanita Jean is going to post the cartoon each day. Make sure you don’t miss it.

So the difference between Willard and Newtzpah now is the difference between cheesy grits and shrimp ‘n grits?

3quarksdaily has an original post by Evert Cilliers. The title says it all: The Homophobe, the Moon Colonist and the Vulture Capitalist: Why the GOP has Become a Cult Instead of a Political Party.  This is a great read, fun, informative, snarky and succinct. Read it or I’m be unhappy, and you don’t want me unhappy. Better yet, print it out, hang it on the wall, read it every day, and then go to battle.

Speaking of 3quarksdaily, another one you might look at. It’s your culture moment. What are the worst 5 presidents? Okay, Now, ask that question from a Native American perspective. Have a clue? Betcha don’t. So go read what a professor of American Indian studies thinks. Nice history lesson. Just because you are old and long past college doesn’t mean you don’t need schooling. Get at it.

When you are worried about your sanity, well you need a standard by which to judge your sanity. I give you the word salad of our beloved goof, Sarah Palin, spewing nonsense as only she can.

What we can glean from this is an understanding of why we are on the road that we are on. Again, it’s based on what went into his thinking, being surrounded by radicals. You could hearken back to the days before the Civil War, when too many Americans believed that not all men were created equal. It was the Civil War that began the codification of the truth that here in America, yes, we are equal and we all have equal opportunities, not based on the color of our skin. You have equal opportunity to work hard and to succeed and to embrace the opportunities, the God-given opportunities, to develop resources and work extremely hard and as I say, to succeed. Now, it has taken all these years for many Americans to understand that the gravity, that mistake that took place before the Civil War and why the Civil War had to really start changing America. What Barack Obama seems to want to do is go back before those days when we were in different classes based on income, based on color of skin. Why are we allowing our country to move backwards instead of moving forward with the understanding that as our charters of liberty spell out for us, we are all created equally?”

This refers to her belief (based on nothing) that Professor Derrick Bell was some radical. He was not, but it would be way over her head to understand what he was. (I would imagine Sarah’s little forays into English verbiage provides wonderful examples of “bad prose” used by English teachers across America. And for that she provides a service, of sorts.)

Until the rubber meets the road, the sun touches upon the horizon, and the lizard returns to under his rock, I remain your devoted blogger.  

The Willard Does the Cain Thang!

Or, “It ain’t no flippin’ flop”, I mean,  “I flipped before I flopped, NOT”.

“I MISUNDERSTOOD THE QUESTION!!!”

So says the Willard. This flop only took one hour.

Being interviewed in Ohio, Mr. Wizard Mouth, said that he “was not going there” when it came to interfering in the contraceptive decisions between a husband and a wife. He was “not in favor of the Blunt amendment.”  No, no he was not.

But then, back in the Romney board room, this ensuing conversation was overheard:  

“YOU FREAKIN’ SCREWED THE POOCH.”

“Huh?, What’d I do?”

“The phone is ringing off my belt! The Righteous TeaMob® is on the way with pitchforks, yelling for your head!”

“I don’t understand. Ann, can you explain?”

“Dear, the Tea People are FOR the Blunt amendment! Remember? It’s not about contraception, it’s about the freedom of every person to live out their faith or any seriously and honestly held moral belief. Don’t you remember?”

“Oh, yes, I’m for FREEDOM and the AMERICAN WAY. I just thought we were supposed to avoid that Santorum  stuff . . .you know, next they’ll start talking about the YOU KNOW WHAT.”

“So we are for the Blunt amendment? It’s so hard to keep all this straight.”

“We’ll say you misunderstood the question. You go out and say you are FOR the Blunt Amendment. You thought they were talking about some state bill in Ohio which would make it illegal for women to be covered for contraception. And you would be against that sort of thing, naturally, but FOR the Blunt amendment.”

“Yeah, I’m FOR the Blunt amendment. I aways was, you know. Never wavered on that one second. It doesn’t include Viagra right? No, I’m sure it doesn’t. My flip-floppin’ days are behind me. Well, actually I never flipped, no, not ever, not once.”

“What’s for lunch? I was hoping for some good Crab Salad and let’s have that good French Chardonnay Ann sent for from the wine cellar.”

(Reported by the fly on the wall. Reading between the lines, but probably accurate because what’s good enough for the GOP is good enough for you!)

For the record: the amendment was defined by the interviewer thusly: “Blunt-Rubio is being debated, I believe, later this week. It deals with banning or allowing employers to ban providing female contraception. Have you taken a position on it? He [Santorum] said he was for that. We’ll talk about personhood in a second, but he’s for that. Have you taken a position?” It’s rather a stretch to suggest you misunderstood and thought the question was about Ohio legislation. DOES BLUNT-RUBIO mean anything to you?

It may seem that I sometimes am a bit harsh to some of the citizenry of our fair country.

And it is true, I am sometimes a bit harsh.

But then, if they would just stop pissin’ me off, I’d be ever so much nicer.

Really I would.

Like The LimpDick Rushkin. He’s a dick with no where to go. I’m quite sure of that. I mean would you? Of course not.

So, given that he hasn’t seen any lady parts in so long they are but a distant Penthouse memory, he is given to saying really really ugly things to women.

Because he blames them, for you know, his homeless dick.

Georgetown student, Sandra Fluke was given the opportunity to speak of what lack of an ability to pay for contraceptives had meant to her life. The sick one, had this to say:

What does it say about the college coed Susan [sic] Fluke, who goes before a congressional committee and essentially says that she must be paid to have sex? What does that make her? It makes her a slut, right? It makes her a prostitute. She wants to be paid to have sex.

“She’s having so much sex she can’t afford the contraception. She wants you and me and the taxpayers to pay her to have sex. What does that make us? We’re the pimps.

“The johns, that’s right. We would be the johns — no! We’re not the johns. Well — yeah, that’s right. Pimp’s not the right word.

“OK, so, she’s not a slut. She’s round-heeled. I take it back.”

And then there is the judicial giant, US District Court Judge Richard Cebull, who likes to send racial garbage via e-mail from the courthouse. He apologies to “anyone who might have been offended,” of course. It is Montana after all. I WAS appointed by Dubya, so I guess it’s understandable that he sent this joke:

 ”A MOM’S MEMORY.” 

Normally I  don’t send or forward a lot of these, but even by my standards, it was a bit touching. I want all of my friends to feel what I felt when I read this. Hope it touches your heart like it did mine. 

“A little boy said to his mother; ‘Mommy, how come I’m black and you’re white?’” the email joke reads. “His mother replied, ‘Don’t even go there Barack! From what I can remember about that party, you’re lucky you don’t bark!’”

So am I being too hard on the good folks whose political opinions I disagree with? Am I?

Leavin’ ya with a laugh.

Today: Willard is asked about whether he is strong on gun rights: He says: “I like all the amendments”  

In the Past: Sarah Palin is asked what magazines and newspapers she reads: “Um, all of them, any of them. . .”

*shiver* 

Well, She Still Won

Bless her shriveled little pumper, masquerading as a heart, self. My girl has gone and tried again to make herself relevant.

We been waitin’ ever so long for her to tell us what end is up. We considered it to be dangerous to make an investment, move our funds, or even to decide what to eat tomorrow, awaitin’ the WORD.

We gathered our friends in hushed conversations, all pondering when and what she would udder  speak.

The entire planet held it’s collective breath, and squeezed its ass cheeks tightly lest any air should escape.

We were frightened.

But then she opened those lips from on high, coated in Mooselini Mauve lip gloss to tell the back-ended folk of South Carolina (cream rises to the top up North), and let them know what they should do.

“Thou shalt pull the lever, x the box, or punch the circle that denotes the name of thy most blessed Newt.”

This is all because our Wasilla WhoaMAN has concluded that we need to investigate the possibly suspicious and mysterious Mr. Mittens a bit more. All cuz, well, we screwed up last time. As you remember.

“I would want this to continue — more debates, more vetting of candidates, because we know the mistake made in our country four years ago was having a candidate that was not vetted to the degree that he should have been, so that we know who his associations and his pals represented and what went into his thinking.”

Yes, you read that right. She opened her pie and spewed forth from her word garden those delightful words.

And the world farted, at last.

Don’t you feel better now?

All this time, I figured she go with Ricky P, bein’ kindred stupids ya know. (Oh woe is me, the Perryster is leaving the circus to return to work at the carnival that is called Texas again.)

And what’s more, returning to Sarah I mean,  not even a week since it’s inception, and when we thought probably no one could ever win it, our Sarah wins “Newtspah “ of the week.

We knew ya had it in ya girl.

Congrats.

Meanwhile, back in the meadow.

The feline wars continued.

You were unaware?

Oh do let me fill you in.

We have a cat (actually 4 but only one figures in this story) by the name of Spencer. He is by my account the spawn of Beelzebub himself,  satan in drag, hell-cat from the black lagoon, however you wish to say it: really, really a rotten cat!

Said pet, I use the term loosely, is around-ish 12, and frankly in the last year or so has slowed considerably, and might, in some small ways be considered a “good cat”. For instance he has learned to sit quietly upon one’s lap with only the barest pinching of his little toes to prevent them from sinking repeatedly into the flesh of your thigh.

But he does have his “moments” and one of them is the need to wait until everyone has put head to pillow and settled in for a long winter’s nap,  before he scratches at the bedroom door, announcing that it is now time for his meadow walk-about. This happens every night.

Now you might suggest that we try a few tricks: Ignore him (how long exactly does it take for hell to freeze over?), throw things at him (he ducks well) spray him with water (he’s learned the technique of scratch and run).

So I, (the Contrarian feigning sleep) rolled over, pulling myself from the transitional level of half-sleeping paradise, and hauled my butt to the front door.

As I open the door, Calvin leaps out. This is part of the “plan”. Calvin is not rude in this way and leaves this bit of dirty work to Spencer, but he is always goes out first. Now, Spence, instead of following suit,  has put toe-pad to air, and realized that it is one bitchingly cold night and he is not putting his skinny black ass  out there.

With this change of mind, he skidaddles into the kitchen and under the table, grinning not at all like the Cheshire Cat, but in an evil clownish improvisation all his own.

Oh, no. No ya don’t buddy. You got me up. You, my scrawny black and white hell-cat, are going forth to meet the zero degree.

And so I get the broom and he runs diving into the bedroom and under the bed.

So, I sit patiently in the living room, until he thinks it safe. And he comes forth, and when he sees me, he stops, and . . . makes the fatal mistake of running back into the kitchen. Whereupon, I shut the bedroom, cutting off that means of escape, and go forth with broom to do battle.

Meanwhile the Contrarian has come to help, and he blocks the kitchen door, and I chase the punk enemy into his arms. Out he goes!

As the door opens to throw him forth, the Calvinator returns with a “by God’s it’s cold enough out there to freeze off my balls, if I had any,” and disappears until morning.

It is only three minutes before Spencer commences to scratch at the door.

The Contrarian starts forth, but I end that:

“He’s stayin’ out for thirty-minutes,” I command, with more shrill tones than are necessary but I’m on the edge of my sanity and well, no one should witness that.

“Thirty-minutes?” he whines worriedly.

“Yesssss, that cat only understands pain. He’ll think twice about doing this tomorrow night,” I spit forth through clenched teeth.

“Yeah, you clearly have him under your thumb” he sneers and goes off to bed.

I settle down with a glass of wine and a copy of MLK’s “Letter from a Birmingham Jail”. Every few minutes the scratching commences  and lasts for a few minutes, followed by quiet, and listening, and then a couple of mews, and then it starts all over again. I smile, and continue to read, sipping my wine, knowing that “I’m doing it for his own good” or words to that effect.

At the thirty minute mark, I went and let the damn cat in. He crawled up and purred softly. “I feel your pain,” I whisper.

And that is how it’s done.

That Darwin guy. He was on to something. I’m sure of it now.

And Today’s Winner IS. . . .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Calvin (Calvin and Hobbes)

Image via Wikipedia

 

I Miss the Old Girl

Seriously, I do.

I mean Michele is an idiot, and Perry is aw-gosh, one too. And Herm tops them both.

But Sarah, she started it all.

What you say?

Why, the notion that the seriously stupid,  incurious, and vainglorious boob could tramp around the country on other people’s money and talk about how they would run the country  in the, I’d sooner roast in hell, likelihood that that ever happened.

What I find so fascinating about the Moosilla Mama is that she made it quite clear that not only did she find herself fit to be the Co-mmander-in-chief, but that she pooh-poohed any notion that she ought to learn anything about that job.

Perhaps in her defense, it’s because she intended to shrink government to be no more noticeable than a pimple on an elephant’s ass and therefore, there really would be damn little to do.

But I don’t think so.

Sarah and her wannabe students start out with thoroughly outlandish ideas of how smart they are. And that leads to the conclusion that they just have  to take over just about everything in order to get it “done right.”

I mean take a look at the Cainster. Herm really thinks he is a self-made black man. There is nothing exceptional about Herm or other such persons, they are sickeningly insecure. Thus the need to convince themselves, and then others, that they did it by their own-self. No history for them.

So in Herm’s mind, he is simply using the GOP and their need for a “Negro Shill” to accomplish another of his personal goals. In his own mind, he is puttin’ one over on whitey. Except, the user is being used.

Same as Sarah. She thinks she’s the puppeteer, when in fact she is the puppet. And once the novelty and use has worn off, the puppet is put back in the box, until another play requires the same character.

Of course, you can never convince any of these simpletons of the truth. That would shatter the illusion they have created about who and what they are. There are and will always be plenty of enemies out there, cast in the needed role of sexist,  or racist, or commie. If the goal is not attained, conspiracy theories are injected into the narrative to explain away the loss.

I figure Silly Sarah is just kicking herself, or Todd, or whomever nodded in agreement when she concluded that she wouldn’t win if she tried. I mean, she would be the flavor of the month that would stick, if only in her own mind. She must be dang pissed.

She must be scrambling around, tossing papers hither and yon, screaming into the phone, gettin’ Greta and Sean and Daddy and anyone who might listen, on a conference call. “Can I still do this? Can I?”

I know, I’m wasting time. It ain’t gonna happen.

But it could.

How much more tomfoolery can we expect out of Perry and Cain and Michele before they collapse from sheer lack of any more hot air? I fear they will be gone all too soon and we’ll be left with the (boring  x 15) Mittens. And it will be a very very long year if that is the case. 

I mean, there are only so many issues of import for the Mittens to flip on.

If we get down to. . . .

 ”I used to like grape jelly, and I know I said I would always support the grape industry, but what’s right for the Mittens isn’t necessarily right for America, so I no longer support the grape industry. I haven’t changed my position, just my perspective. I’m running for office, for God’s sake!”

 If we get down to that, I’m jumping off that cliff.

So Sarah, if this reaches your ears. Please my little goof, please throw your spangly flag in the ring!