Category Archives: Immigration

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And the Nominee for STUPID is. . . .The GOP

bobbyjOh my head hurts. I mean seriously people, the list of nominees for MOST STUPID is the most widely contested race of all.

Shall we poll the Internet denizens?

Here are some of the nominees. Feel free to add any you can think of. The winner will receive a dead fish wrapped in the NYTimes, delivered by a pony express rider wearing a Dior gown of sparkling crystals.

1. Proving that he can’t read, Governor Scott Walker of Wisconsin says he will sign a new bill requiring an ultrasound of any pregnant woman seeking an abortion. Having learned nothing from what happened in Virginia when Governor McDonnell also planned to sign the same sort of thing, Walker announces that “I don’t have any problem with ultrasound”. No I guess HE doesn’t. But perhaps if it were required that all men who decide to treat women like children and tell them what to do with their own bodies, should undergo a lobotomy, he might, just might, change his tune. But then again, maybe not.

2. Arizona House Representative, Trent Franks resurrected the old “rape victims block the pregnancy” argument of Todd Akin, stating the “incidence of pregnancy following rape is very low.”  This was in support of a bill introduced by Franks making abortion illegal after 20 weeks. Democrats had introduced an amendment making an exception for rape and incest. It appears that Republican man are raised to believe that they are doctors by osmosis. It’s a male thing.

sarah-palin-stupid-republican-quotes-dumb-republicans-best-republican-quotes 3. So utterly against any immigration bill are some Republicans that they don’t even want to debate the issue. The reasons are obvious. The final bill may well pass the Senate, and then it’s on the House where Boehner will wring his hands and insist that he’s only there to help the House speak it’s will. The likes of Steve King and Louis Gohmert and Steve Stockton, will provide the show there. For now this group joins in a team effort to win the golden smelly carp award: Sens. John Barrasso (Wyo.), John Boozman (Ark.), Mike Crapo (Idaho), Ted Cruz (Tex.), Mike Enzi (Wyo.), Charles E. Grassley (Iowa), James Inhofe (Okla.), Mark Kirk (Ill.), Mike Lee (Utah), James Risch (Idaho), Pat Roberts (Kan.), Tim Scott (S.C.), Jeff Sessions (Ala.), Richard Shelby (Ala.) and David Vitter (La.). A finer band of brothers in stupid cannot be found.

4. Virginia Lieutenant Governor nominee, E. W. Jackson wrote a book, and published it. It is called The Ten Commandments to an Extraordinary Life. Trouble is, he misspelled Commandments to Comandments in the title. Then he said that yoga would lead to satanic possession.

5. Jim Bridenstine (R-OK) is somebody you probably never heard of. I suspect you can continue to not hear of him. He took to the floor last week in the House and ranted on about how the President was “a vengeful liar who lacks the moral compass” to lead the nation. He likened himself to Patrick Henry. He thinks he did a good job. Trouble is, I guess he forgets that the polls suggests he may be the one without a moral compass. It’s improper to cast such vitriol on the House floor. But alas it’s nothing new for the crazy crew. And by the by, all his reasoning was based on factual untruths. ALL of them. So I guess he’s intellectually impaired on top of being a flagrant abuser of the mouth.

6. Darrell Issa claimed through selected editing of testimony, that the order to select “conservative” applications for tax-exempt status came “from Washington”. He promised that the full transcripts would be released shortly. Of course the full transcripts said just about the opposite. The person who has owned up to the screening methodology, describes himself as a Conservative Republican and says he doesn’t believe there was any political motivation in the process, but merely a method to extract those applications that would undoubtedly necessitate deeper analysis. Issa now claims that release of the full transcripts would be “dangerous and irresponsible.” He now claims it is Cummings who is the problem.

Santorum_dunce17. Now I admit, this is not a Republican. But well, we have loved Carl Levin for many years. But we are pretty darn happy he’s decided to retire. He voted to keep the decision-making on rape charges in the hands of command. It was wrong. He sided with the military men. It was wrong. This kind of thing makes no sense on any level. It doesn’t promote cohesion in the ranks. It promotes distrust. Shame on him. And on Clare McCaskill who also voted this way.

So that’s my line up for today.

As I said, please add your favorites.

It’s hard to miss a week without Gohmert being on the list I know.

But he’ll be back in the top ten. He won’t let us down.

don-young-wetback-comments-immigrationSo.

Vote.

Vote often.

oops

 

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The Stupid Chronicles for April 20, 2013

Gohmert_Louis-Dummy-2Oh don’t mind me, I’m just acting like a Hispanic. Yes dear Louis the Lunatic tops our list today. But it was a close call I tell ya. Louis never fails to deliver the one two punch of stupid all wrapped up in crazy nearly every week. We sometimes wonder if Louis has a bank of writers who dream up his lines, but on reflection that would surely tip the balance and throw civilization into a retrograde orbit.

Louis dear Louis has a gem for us today. Let me put it thusly. Louis viewed Rodin’s the Thinker, and opined, “why is that dude taking a shit in public?”

Louis doesn’t have a pet rock, he’s the pet rock’s pet.

Louis knows his terrorists and he is here to tell you what he has learned. Islamic terrorist organizations are busy helping their Arab folks “act Hispanic” so they can cross the border from Mexico into America. (added joy: there is a video!)

Yes you heard it here.

Although Louis had no opinion of who caused the Boston Marathon bombings at the time he said this, he was pretty darn sure that a fence is the way to go. After all, Israel’s suicide bombings stopped when they built their fence, he offered, unaware that that is not at all true. A good guess is always good enough for Louis.

Compatriot idiot Steve King (R-IA) nodded in agreement and said that the immigration reform bill should be held up, because surely this bombing was caused (he thinks) by some student on a visa.

Louis offered no ideas about how one “acts” Hispanic. Several racist theories comes to mind, but Louis stopped short of asking people to be on the watch for the “typical” Hispanic behaviors. He did whisper that a dead giveaway that you were dealing with a “pretend” Hispanic was to offer him a jalapeño pepper and see if he cries out in anguish and calls for water after taking a bite.

Texas takes our number two spot as well, which isn’t a big surprise–it’s a big state with big idiots in it.

esther-irene-stokes-400x300This is Ms. Ester Irene Stokes. She’s a school teacher in Texas. Or was, or confound it, she probably got herself a medal now.

Anyway, she was accused of fondling one of her female students. Now Ms. Stokes is 61 and the child in question was seven. So that is very bad stuff.

So Ms. Stokes tells police and anyone else who will listen that she is not guilty.

You probably assumed that didn’t ya?

Yes, well she has a rather unique defense.

She says that she is such a racist that she can barely stand to touch those little black girls in her class. The mere touch of their hands gives her the heebie jeebies and sends her off to wash off that black skin feel. I mean she actually cringes when the little nappy heads try to hug here, which must happen once every ice age at least.

There have been no responses by the school in question as to whether Ms. Stokes was still employed. What ya wanna make a bet she won’t have any trouble finding another job in some parts of the country at least.

No doubt that face will be forever seared in your brain.

Third on our hit parade for the week is Maine’s governor Paul LaPage.

getting-to-know-paul-lapageNow Paulie has come to our attention before as you can note from some of his best work at the right.

But he kinda ran out of material for a little while. After the last couple of days though, I think he’s back in fighting form.

The Bangor News seems to have a particularly low opinion in the Guv, suggesting that he “makes things up” a lot.

Well, Paul is at it again. Paul doesn’t like wind power. He thinks it’s somehow un-American, being all cheap and non-polluting and such. Oil and Gas don’t like air power and that’s enough for big Paul.

So Paul said, “Now, to add insult to injury, The University of Maine, Presque Isle – anybody here been up there to see that damn windmill in the back yard? Guess what, if it’s not blowing wind outside and they have somebody visiting the campus, they have a little electric motor that turns the blades. I’m serious. They have an electric motor so that they can show people wind power works. Unbelievable. And that’s the government that you have here in the state of Maine.”

Of course, no such thing is true. The University says there is no “little motor”.

All this would be funny, and it is, but the answer to Paulie’s nonsense is that he’s touched in the head. Read crazy as a loon. Read, coming up on Louis’s shoulder and threatening to pass.

Paulie intends to run for re-election. He predicts that the teacher’s unions better watch out, cuz he’s coming for them. And his new idol? Well that ever-favorite of Wisconsin, Scott Walker.

“I will guarantee you that you will see the most vicious education campaign ads that you’ve ever seen in your life next year, because I am going to be the next Scott Walker in this country, because I am challenging the status quo.”

No, Paulie is challenging the all-time low IQ in the USA. I am putting my bets he will win.

Fourth is a new face for us, GOP House Representative from Iowa, Dennis Guth.

guth-e1366222435292Guth is one of those self-styled experts on the issue of homosexuality.

Guth first focused on the media and accused them of making that homosexual lifestyle seem good and nice, when we all know it’s really yucky.

See, Guth says, homosexuals are like “second-hand” smoke, they cause harm to those around them who are normal. They cause health risks to his family he says, by their increased invitation to transmittable sexual diseases. He opines that there are “more medical tests required” before you can give blood or birth. He thinks they are connected but forgot to say how.

Other than that, Guth was unable to explain why their diseases would “harm” his family, unless of course one posits that either he or members of his family regularly engage the services of willing homosexuals for ummm, sex.

Guth is an idiot, and his Democratic colleague told him so.

Our fifth and last entry for the week comes from good old Arkansas, a state that often shows us the butt end of humanity.

NateNate Bell, is (you guessed it) a REPUBLICAN state rep from good old Ar-KANSAS, who is a protector of the 2nd Amendment, which he neither understands, nor defends with anything other than yippie-ki-yo-ki-yay blather.

Well, inside that fun face is a very human and very empathetic individual. So as soon as he heard about the manhunt going on in Boston and its environs, wondered via Twitter:

I wonder how many Boston liberals spent the night cowering in their homes wishing they had an AR-15 with a high-capacity magazine?

I mean how sympathetic can a guy be?

I mean really?

Nate withdrew the Tweet once it was pointed out to him that he was being a total douche. Of course it was up long enough for a long list of people to tell him that.

Good luck Nate on re-election.

And if you have not run into these videos (YouTube has several by the same guy), then sit back and for a couple of minutes, just chortle your little heart out. Dry up your tears at the above and replace with belly laughs.

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John Boehner Seeks Asylum in Any Non-Tea Drinking Country

house-speaker-john-boehner-crySeriously, the dude will go anywhere where tea is not drunk, spoken of, or dangled precariously off the rims of head-gear.

John is dangerously close to drowning in a sea of tea. The mere mention of Boston makes him shudder. The words Pekoe or Darjeeling make him quiver in fear.

John is scared I tell ya. Things never thought to be on his horizon are looming like orca whales with maws agape. He can smell the fine stomach acids emanating from their bellies in anticipation of John Meat.

You remember the Hastert Rule no doubt. A cute piece of party law, instituted by that great constitutionalist and all-around patriot, Dennis Hastert, the rule was designed to protect the GOP from embarrassment when a few too many of its members felt compelled to vote “nay” to a popular piece of legislation.

Hastert instituted it so that no legislation was ever brought to the floor unless it already had a majority of Republican votes. When a majority chose not to violate, say their allegiance to the United States of Exxon-Mobile or America the NRA, they were protected from having to take that stance publicly, because old Denny would just not let the bill come to the floor for a vote.

And that, ladies and gents is the way real DEMON-ocracy works in Merika.

So, Johnny the Orange has lived by the Hastert rule since his speakership began. It worked flawlessly until, oh say, when the GOP got its butt handed to it in slices via the 2012 election. Suddenly, with Congressional approval ratings on life-support, and most of that directed at the GOP, well, things had to change.

John first violated the Hastert Rule over the December 2012 “fiscal cliff” discussion, realizing that unless he wanted to start digging his own and his party’s grave, it was the sensible thing to do. That was followed the Hurricane Sandy relief bill of which his own tea Potter clan refused to accede. Now this was considered highly egregious by even the non-Tea Potters within the party seeing as how they had always supported relief packages quickly in the face of need to the Midwest and the South East.

And then of course Boehner was forced to abandon Denny’s Detour Delight once again when it came to the Violence Against Women Act, an act that was already a law, but needed periodic “re” validation. The Tea Potters objected to those gay women being protected and those native women being assaulted by white guys who had just had a bit too much to drink. I mean ALL assaults aren’t bad are they?

But Boehner saw the writing on the wall (volumes of mail calling him names that are not printable here), and brought all three of these bills before the full house and getting them passed with sizeable Nays from the Tea Potters who really hated being “outed” (pardon my gay reference) by their chief of crap.

So, what has all that got to do with Boehner’s desire to leave our fair shores?

Well, Boehner has been warned by his Tea Dribblers that this outing has to stop. They, as any good Republican certainly knows, want to continue to hide behind the very substantial pants of one Dennis Hastert and his curtain of shame. And they have told Johnny, to stop THAT.

Except now, John is squarely in the crosshairs (pardon the gun pun) of the gun safety issue.

You see, it seems that there is a very good likelihood that the Manchin-Toomy bill will pass the Senate. It is a not so great bill, since it comes with the usual loopholes (like how are we policing “sales between relatives” and what the hell constitutes a “neighbor”), but it’s better than no bill at all, which was looking awful likely a couple of days ago.

So John, who has been able to avoid doing much of anything for 4+ years because he could count on the filibuster keeping ANYTHING from ever hitting the Senate floor, and thus he could “wait until the Senate did it’s job and passed a bill”, is now faced with the reality that a bill will hit the floor and lord of all lords, will probably pass.

That leaves Johnny with the sticky wicket as it were. For seriously his idiot Tea Potters are so used to that Glock stuck up their behinds that they dare not breathe compromise or Wayne La PeePee Pierre will pull the trigger blowing their shit to kingdom come.

And folks it gets sweeter than this.

The Senate is probably also poised to pass an immigration bill as well. It too will be crummy, but not quite as crummy as nothing.

And John is sweatin’ that one too, for if anything gets his Tea Potters more upset than having a loaded Glock go off in their booties, it’s the thought of tens of thousands of those confounded “brownies” getting citizenship in their respective states, thumbing their noses at their newly blown off white asses, and running against them and getting the Latino vote and redecorating their TeaPotter offices in Turquoise and desert red.

So, John, is swooning with pique.

John is asking why he ever wanted this damn job in the first place.

John is wondering whether a nice cushy job with one of his long time corporate supports wouldn’t make more sense.

John is polishing his passport and scouring the globe for a non-tea country to settle down in.

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Huckabee: It’s All Greek to Me!

MHuckMike Huckabee makes me scratch my head. Which is saying something good frankly, since many Republicans make me want to scratch their heads for them.

I remember back when Mikey was trying to be a serious candidate. He was the quintessential compassionate conservative. He was fun, told self-deprecating stories and seemed for all the world like a compromise-willing  gentleman. Heck even Jon Stewart liked him.

Somewhere along the line Mikey traded whatever passes for integrity in his world for filthy lucre. Or perhaps I’m being generous. Plenty would argue that he never had any integrity to begin with and was only playing along in order to get along. The GOP is really good at saying one thing and planning to do something quite different if given the chance.

However you wish to cast it, Huckster decided that running for office wasn’t his cup of milk, so he went the way of most of his kind, and drifted into a job at Foxy Noise where he could be the “expert” opinion” on whatever moved his rather pedestrian mind.

I’m not sure Mikey is all that enamored in his heart of hearts with the right-wing teabagging evangelicals that he now “speaks” for. But he has chosen to harness his cart to them. He apparently has no desire to be part of the “Old Guard” which is the tattered and rundown house that encompasses the John McCains, John Boehners, Lindsey Grahams, and the ever poppin’ Karl Rove, along with turtlish McConnell. They are otherwise known now as RINOS.

The tea-sippin’ group is getting mightily teed off these days. While the Old Guard is trying desperately to make itself relevant, the Waterlogged bibbers are screeching that anybody who deviates from the wagon train of bizarre, will be drawn and quartered and left for dead in the desert of political outliers.

They are having no part of this new “immigration” talk. Ship those brownies back to MEXICO or wherever they come from. (Tea Baggers mostly are unaware of any other country than Mexico, all else being “down there”). They are having no part of this new “compassion for gays”, such being an abomination in the eyes of the self-serving God they have created out of a collection of writings by people who died two millennia ago, and were last seen trying to make sense of stumbling around in a desert for forty years when the walk to “Israel” was at most a six weeks jaunt.

They are having no part of any of that fuzzy liberal crap in other words, and any Republican who does? They are dead to them. Dead, dead, dead and anathema to boot. May there be a pox on all their house and, and may fire and brimstone fall upon their backyard pools.

Chuckerbee has shown his true colors. I guess we should have realized it full-blown when he shlepped the anti-Obamacare as legislation cooked up in “back rooms and shoved down the throats of the American people.” Actually it was passed as are all normal pieces of legislation–by garnering the required number of yeas by senators and representatives and then being signed by a President into law.

Today he warns that should the GOP take that awful walk to the dark side and endorse marriage equality, the evangelicals in this country are going to desert them. Woohoo, now that’s a threat. The Old Guard pretty much wants that to happen. Barry Goldwater warned that trouble would ensue if the GOP made a pact with the right-wing religious, and boy was he right. They have pushed the party to the brink of annihilation. I read a little ditty the other day that is actually quite true:

The tea party came along to destroy a president. They ended up destroying a party–the GOP.

Nothing could be truer, and Huckster is free to lead that band of misbegots all he wants. Speaking with self-avowed tea Party “patriots” (for they all claim that moniker), is like entering the hall of mirrors at the circus. Random bits of flotsam, float as sound bites from their latest “deep” think watching Fox. Nay, this is no longer enough and they are boycotting that station for not being flamingly whacked enough. Tea suckers have no coherent ideology, often hold views on separate subjects that are in conflict philosophically and logically, and spout a different “issue” as you progress from one to the other. And the joy for them is that they are so ignorant as to not realize how truly stupid they sound.

Huck of course is no stranger to idiocy himself, having claimed that the tragedy at Newtown was the result of “taking God from the classroom”. First that belies the fact that God is everywhere, and does not take direction from silly humans. Secondly, it trivializes the real tragedy there, and of course makes the Huckster another in a long line of Christianists who create some gun-happy imprimatur in the good book itself.

So I take Mikey’s warning for all the value it deserves. Exactly none. I fervently hope that the GOP disinfects itself from the scourge it has encountered. When you teach people that it’s all about number one, don’t be surprised if they come up with some fine examples of their own of looking out for themselves. Since there is nothing Christian nor human about that kind of standard, don’t be surprised if a majority of citizens cast a dark eye on your selfish betrayal of both God and the rest of America.

 

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I’m On Planet Quaintly Backward, Yes?

NURSEI would sure like to know who drugs me and transports me without my agreement to these other planets in the galaxy. I mean, I go to sleep one place, and get up and everything seems normal.

Until of course something so outrageously insane happens, and I look skyward, knowing of course that that sun up there is not my sun, but rays down upon this alien landscape that just looks like my earth.

How do I tell?

Oh. It’s the outrageously insane thing that happens. I mean it ain’t human the thing that happens. It belongs to a foreign and utterly insane race of people who do the opposite of anything any NORMAL human would do. I pity that poor planet. It’s not like mine.

On this planet, a “nurse” who works at a senior assisted living facility, calls emergency services (oddly also called 911 here) to announce that an 80-something lady has collapsed in the dining area and is “barely” breathing. The operator, sends off help and then instructs the nurse to go over and begin doing CPR (apparently they have a similar heart-lung circulatory system as we do). The nurse refuses telling the operator that the company she works for doesn’t allow her to do that.

We are told that the facility doesn’t “do” medical care as part of its services, and prohibits the nurse (whose purpose there is never explained) from rendering assistance to a resident in distress. The operator becomes more and more excited, begging the nurse to find “somebody” who can. The nurse says nobody (except presumably her) knows how to do it. The operator says that’s fine, she can teach them over the phone. The nurse says the company doesn’t allow that either.

The woman of course dies.

The state (also oddly enough called California) has a law that says one is not required to come to the assistance of another. There are plenty of states with such a rule. There are also states that have rules that are called “good Samaritan” laws that protect well-meaning people who help from being sued for causing harm during the helping.

It begs the question I guess to wonder if a nurse has a duty beyond “obeying orders” that might be above the inhuman (obviously because this planet’s inhabitants must not be human like us), order of a company who cares nothing more than for the bottom line–profits shall not be diluted by lawsuits.  It begs the question too why there is a “nurse” employed in the first place if not to at least imply to residents and their families that medical care is only a “step away.”

I sure was glad to learn that I had been secretly kidnapped to this draconian planet. Nothing like this could happen on my earth, and certainly not in my country. Nobody would be that cold and, well, inhuman. No, never in my America.

If that wasn’t enough to assure me that I was no longer in Kansas or anywhere nearby, I saw another thing on this nutsy planet that make it clear it was not mine.

I heard a guy (I swear this is true) who called himself Jeb Bush, just like our Jeb Bush  in America. Only this one, he didn’t have any love for the Latinos like our Jeb. No this one, (not sure he is married to a Latino woman likes ours) he is against allowing undocumented workers a path to citizenship. He is, (believe it or not) in favor of creating them as a permanent underclass in this country they call America, although I think the correct spelling is AmerIKA. No citizenship for them, for as he put it, the last time they did amnesty, why a whole bunch of them didn’t take advantage of it anyway, so they must not really want to be citizens, doncha know.

Yeah, he didn’t mention that maybe some of them were still afraid, and many even more couldn’t afford to pay those fines that you had to pay first to apply.

Our Jeb would never think of such a thing. He’s the smarter of the Bushes (yes they have a passel of  Bushes here too) and that is such an ugly idea that nobody who cares about immigrants would ever suggest that we start defining a whole class as some slave labor reservoir.

They say that this Jeb here, why he is thinking about running for president in 2016. And they tell me that a tiny minority of really nasty mean people hate Latinos for all kinds of imagined things, and this Jeb is courting them for votes.

Our Jeb ain’t like that. He has principles. That Jeb could learn a thing or two from our Jeb.

So, anyway, I gotta run. I’m heading down to the airport and find the next transport back to the third rock from the sun. I sure hope to be back by tomorrow. The food here sucks.

**I learned after the posting of this that the woman in the first instance may have signed a DNR order and may well have been informed that staff were prohibited from offering any medical assistance. I am wrong to castigate the nurse in question if that is so, although I find it odd that she made no mention of this fact when talking to the 911 operator. I apologize to anyone I offended by my attempt at humor. I will not withdraw the post since it’s important to publicly admit one’s errors and not try to erase them in my opinion. I stand by my opinion that the company should have no such “rule” in place.

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Fool Me Once. . . .You Know the Rest

Karl-Rove-001I’m having a bizarre discussion on Facebook with a reactionary. I say that because he is a Republican, a small businessman (three employees), and a climate denier.

He’s sure that green energy is a total waste of time. He finds all kinds of bogus “studies” to prove that and that the sun is the culprit in our current environmental woes. He tried to “prove” his case by suggesting that Greenland was named by the Vikings as such because one thousand years ago it was temperate.

That makes as much sense as saying, “hey it’s snowing! So much for global warming!” A tiny investment in some research shows that the Vikings never ventured inland and the coasts of Greenland are always ice-free, and Erik may have named it so precisely to encourage settlement there when he returned to Iceland.

In any event, I find it curious when little guys like this are so enthralled with being in the “club” with the big guys that they don’t realize that while they may be members of the same club, i.e. “business” entrepreneurs, they are waiting tables rather than eating at them. What it boils down to is they don’t want to pay the taxes they perceive come with supporting green technologies, but they are more than happy to continue to pay taxes to subsidize industries like Exxon-Mobile who make BILLIONS in profits every year, and the only part of that they will ever see is as a valet tip.

Meanwhile the Tea Bibbers continue to weigh as an anchor around the neck of the GOP whose rational members are paddling like crazy while the Tea Bibbers continue to punch more holes in the bottom of the boat. They are the sticky paper once touched that you can’t get off your fingers no matter how hard you shake them.

The latest polling suggests that the world for the GOP remains dismal. Nearly 50% of the electorate things they are crazy and useless. The numbers if anything, have gotten worse than they were immediately following the election. Republicans cannot seem to find their way, and when one jumps to the front and announces the “new” pathway, he or she is shot full of arrows from the bottomless quiver of the Tea Faction that wants no truck with RINOs.

As Joe Scarborough put it, the CPAC boys and girls chose not to invite Chris Christie, a governor who enjoys a 74% approval rating in a blue state. His conservative credentials are not in question by rational people. But he had the temerity to act nicely to the President and that is not allowed by the rank and file nuts.

Rubio, who is hungry for a shot at the White House, cut  his teabag in half and got on board with some form of immigration reform that leads to citizenship. Well that caused the expected riff. He’s up against the insanity that John McCain ran into out in Arizona–”where’s the damn fence?” and “they come here and get on welfare.” With that kind of mentality, the reactionary Right ain’t going to get on board. Hell they are going to shoot holes in the bow.

Plenty of the truly demented want the sequester to kick in, because they just want to prove that they are in control. They aren’t but they sure have Johnny Boehner by the short hairs. He’s fallen to the dubious task of lying through his bright whites about how black is white and white is chartreuse. Having no clue what the American people want, he continues to spout that he does, and of course people continue to laugh. John is finding that we actually read papers and read magazines and we KNOW how we got to this place, and his dirty fingerprints are all over it.

Republicans can’t bring themselves to stop sucking at Wayne La PeePee Lapierre’s nether regions long enough to read a poll that suggests that over 90% of Americans want strong background checks on all gun purchases. They are all over the place on this one, from the usual “not from my dead cold hands” to “okay, I can handle background checks.”

Similarly, when it comes to gays, the GOP is turning itself inside out. A number of Republicans have broken from the pack and suggested its time to get out of the dark ages and move into the sunshine. That of course is met with derision and out right calls for hanging among the insane wackos. I do not foresee a happy resolution here no matter what is proposed. The wingnuts are firmly stuck in Leviticus, wallowing in their presumed righteousness, all the while munching on pork chops and engaging in usury, things also prohibited by the Almighty in his dealings with the Chosen.

On women, things get no better. The party that insisted that the “war on women” was merely a campaign ploy by desperate Democrats, continue to amass a mountain of dead (women who will never vote Republican) in their non-war. Plenty of states are still doing everything possible to make sure that women’s private goodies are open for inspection by well-meaning (read lecherous) legislators who are so sure women can’t imagine what is in that womb of theirs that they need men to explain it to them. And then putting impossible demands upon abortion providers that cause them to close their doors in dismay. All this while tens of thousands of women lose the only health care they ever had.

And of course  who can forget that a goodly group of morons parade around as grown-ups yet are unwilling to pass the Violence Against Women Act because it protects Native women from assault by non-native men. And good grief we aren’t going to protect same-sex men and women against violence by their partner either, because well, that would suggest we really do love them, just not the “act.” And since they really DO hate them, well you can see why that can’t be passed. The bill remains in limbo as the Senate version (with the above) is up for a vote by the unwilling jackasses otherwise known as Tea Bibbers.

Well, as I see it, the GOP has learned nada and is headed for more election troubles. And of course, we haven’t even touched upon the anger Karl has unleashed by his attempt to shut the Tea Bags the hell up!  It’s a party for us, and the best show in town.

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Standing in Line to Make that Assiness First

cruzThey breed ‘em big in Texas.

Asshats that is.

Ted Cruz, the newly elected, still wet-behind the ears, Senator from the late great state of YeHaw, is making it very clear that the Tea Bag Nation is full to the brim with bluster if not brains.

Ted got all in-your-face at the hearings over the proposed new gun legislation and then did the same when it came to confirmation hearings on Chuck Hagel.

Now let me state up front, I have no clear opinion on Chuck. His performance at the hearings was unstellar to say the least, though I’ve read that he was warned again and again not to get into a pissing contest with his opponents. I am basically not terribly impressed with him, but I’m not the President either, so I say, if that’s the man he wants, he should have him.

Ted ranted like a child, and now threatens by his demands to further prove his assiness. He’s demanding records from Hagel of companies that Hagel was involved with but did not control (i.e. he has no right to the documents) and copies of speeches he gave that were never in writing to begin with and never recorded.

Ted you see is an all around jerk. He’s a perfect example of the substantivelessness of the Tea People in general. Bluster abounds, actual facts, knowledge, or even basic common sense are absent. That makes one wonder if he more resembles a Texan or a Tea Bibber. (apologies to all my Texan friends, seriously, I know you are embarrassed by this idiot as I was of the king of stupid Steven King, and am close to be of the Tea Pipsqueak Steven Pence of New Mexico.)

Rational heads even in the Republican party think he’s beginning to act like a first class douche. He has ambitions it’s clear. I rather think he’s dumb enough to destroy his own campaign.

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Meanwhile Republican-controlled legislatures across the country continue their assault on women’s rights. Oh, yeah, I forget, “protecting women’s health and safety.” I forget, when Republicans aren’t calling women too stupid to think for themselves, they are busy protecting their health–the better to breed my dear!

In Tennessee, Jim Stacy who has his eye on a congressional seat, is introducing legislation to require women to not only undergo ultrasounds before any abortion, but to see the photograph and listen to the fetal heartbeat. All because, women you know, probably have no idea what they are aborting, thinking perhaps its just a bag of Cheetos.

In Alabama, that bastion of intellectual plenty, a WOMAN legislator has decided that the architecture of the building in which an abortion takes place contributes to unsafe medical procedures, and thus are illegal places to perform said procedures. Such ploys are becoming most common, demanding that the building contain one more broom closet per floor, or six more heating vents. Just utter crap demands that cost thousands to comply with and thus force many clinics to close their doors. These bills of course are called “women’s health and safety acts” to pretty them all up.

Women who have no reasonable place to get an abortion? Suffer and have that kid. But that’s where the “help” stops of course. These states are fairly notorious for not wanting to help care for the infants they demand to be born.

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Just a bit of flotsam here. Bet you didn’t know that George W. Bush and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad have something in common did ya? They do, they do! Both have had shoes thrown at them by irate Arabs. You all remember that George got his in Iraq. Well Mahmoud got his (several in fact) thrown at him from a crowd in Cairo. I just love the symmetry of that don’t you? Both nuts, both shoe dodgers.

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Do run by Woodgate’s View today and read the great reblogged post on the character Polonius from Hamlet and John McCain. It is both hilarious and a dead on accurate assessment of the great Maverick who really wasn’t. Great read.

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Under the theory, that if I can waste upwards of 300 million dollars in one election cycle, that should stand as no impediment to giving me more, Karl Rove is back at it, as you have no doubt heard. He’s formed a new group that is designed to purge the party of the craziest segment of the TeaDom and keep their airy little heads from winning primaries statewide. The first target is one near and dear to my liberal heart, one Steven King (R-IA) whom we understand is wanting to run for Tom Harkin’s Senatorial seat. Trouble is, as we know, Steven is a harebrained lunatic of the highest magnitude short of a quasar and cannot possibly win statewide (all the crazies being mostly kept in the western corner of the state). Karl wants him out and a more respectable (less crazy) alternative, probably Latham.

Fox Noise, with ratings dropping badly from their assurance that Willard would carry the day easily, is out to purge its ranks of the most awful of the awful, starting with Dick Morris who has been told to go peddle his Clinton-hating nonsense somewhere else. Ditto for the grifter queen herself, our dear little Sarah.

And of course, the GOP has offered the hot chile to the Latino community by designating Marco Rubio, to be the answer man to the President’s State of the Union speech. They want that brown vote BAD! All the while, Marco assures the Right that the new “path to citizenship” will be arduous and the line will be long, probably years in the traversing, to soothe the bigoted minds of the trailer trash that is THE TeaMonsterAutoBashBudBowl. None of it is true of course, but the stupid, usually stay that way, and will never know what hit them.

Which is all to say, that the emperor has no clothes and we see your little dickie bobbing in the wind, just fine, and nobody wants a little dickie.

Got that?

K.

Bye.

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