Category Archives: The Blaze Nincompoops

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If You Find Yourself Turning East to Pray, It Might be the Turkey

In the ongoing contest to be the craziest person/group/country, Americans continue to excel.

This week, a tiny minutia of human DNA (slightly below the Neandertal level of intellectual proclivity), rose to the occasion and outdid themselves in proving that, once again, nobody puts the US in a corner when it comes to sheer batfooking insanity.

Case in point.

Somebody, for some reason, called Butterball company and asked them whether the tasty birdies they offer to us each holiday season, were Halal certified. Like Kosher certified, Halal certification simply means that the slaughter occurred in a manner compliant with religious practices.

Butterball’s answer was that indeed all whole bird turkeys are killed in an Islamically acceptable fashion, though no prayers (a part of the actual certification) are done. Similarly, no prayers are done for Kosher certification either (a rabbi must come in to do that). Butterball claims that various ethnic distributors may complete the requirements as they wish.

It should be noted that I have also read at least that the manner of killing Kosher and Halal  is exactly the same.

But of course,  facts stand in the way of hysteria with our band of nuts across America. They prefer to deal in rumor, innuendo, ad hominem ethnic hatred and vile humor. No less a certifiable wingnut that Pamela Geller is all up in craziness about this. My God, Islam is literally trying to “stuff their religion down our throats.” That’s not a quote by her, but gosh it seemed too good to not use.

The Blaze nincompoops were out in force. One can almost see them flapping their arms and racing up and down sidewalks yelling for everyone to throw out their birds, throw out your birds.

Can you just feel the love?

Doug Corrigan

Hate is a good thing. It helps you defeat your enemies. We need more ‘hate’ in America, and we need a whole lot less Pollyannaish, Goody-Two-Shoes idiocy regarding that putrid cult of murder, invented by a ‘hate’ filled camel-wacker named moohammad — that cult would, of course, be called islam.

Yes Doug, you have more than enough for all of us. Now recite the 1st Amendment again, and explain how it doesn’t apply to anyone you hate.

Taquoshi

Unfortunately, many of our don’t have that option. However, I have every intention of putting my hands on our non-Butterball turkey and praying to Lord Jesus Christ to remove any taint of any kind of ritualic prayer to idols that may have occurred. And you can bet that I’ll be praying over our other meat from now on, too!!

Allah is not an idol Sasquatch. It’s another name for God. But do us all a favor, pray non-stop, don’t even stop long enough to eat.

GetOurCountryBack

Just one more way these b*stards are creeping into our society and trying to get their agenda forced on us. As an American I don’t give a flying flip if they can find food that is okay for them to eat. Better yet, lets put a bill out that forbids this and force them to get the he!! out.

They aren’t creeping GOCB, they are coming right down your esophagus now. As a moron, you aren’t expected to know that we can’t “put a bill out”. I thought you airheads were against regulations against business?

AB5R

For Christians it is not acceptable to eat foods offered to idols. In this case the Islamic prayer to Allah (in the bible he is known as Satan) makes halal food something that has been offered as a sacrifice to an idol, a particularly evil one in this case.

I would agree that if Satan is Allah, he would be a “particularly evil” idol. But he’s not, and you’re stupid. You are exactly the reason why internet access is NOT an acceptable therapy in the Head Hospital. Stick to legos please.

MikeM1969

I don’t eat butterball, and now I never will. One step closer to sharia compliance. I will die before I comply.

Easy to say when you don’t eat it anyway hey Mike? And as to that last part, we can but wish.

Loafer4952

Well I know I won’t be buying anymore turkeys or anything that butterball has to do with it. We usually by several turkeys thru out the year. This is America and we need to be americans. It is ok to believe in your religon but when you come to America you do as Americans do. If you don’t like the way we do something then go back where you came from I am sure they will do it your way.

That’s right, and so we will have no more of that Kosher stuff any more either right? America was not settled by Jews for goodness sakes, but good old Christian Protestants. And the damn Catholics better stop saying prayers over wine and bread too. You are onto something Loafer. Or is it just your brain that loafs?

Nobama201258

 

We have bigger fish to fry people,how bout those PETA nutjobs wanting us to eat tofu instead of turkey ?

Yeah, I got my shotgun at the ready Nobama. I was thinkin’ of staking out the tofu shelf at Wal-Mart and pickin’ up those stealth buyers and then follow them home and picket their houses. The UNAMERICANness of it!

Zombee

Barack Hussein Obama (aka. The Impostor) doesn’t care whether or not you know if the food you buy is Islam-approved inhumanely Halal slaughtered! But he sure cared about whether his fellow Muslims in his home state of Illinois knew it when he served in the Illinois State Senate and sponsored the ‘Halal Food Act’ in 2001.

Now how did I know that one of your creepin’ crazies would bring the President into this. And congrats Zom, you have one fine hate blog. No advertising here though, keep your hatred at home.

Tri-OX

Catering to terrorists certainly isn’t good for the Butterball brand image.

So, triple OX (you guys self-identify so exquisitely), all Muslims are terrorists? Is that your belief? Well we are in a world of trouble if that is the case. Go to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect $200. You fail basic common sense.

And so we depart. Please don’t scare the zoo animals here. They are precious to us since they remind us that we actually are superbly sane by comparison. Hope you had a great Thanksgiving and enjoyed your turkeys. We alas had duck, which was excellent, by the way. And stay away from those malls!

PS: If you see smoke on the horizon, not to worry. It’s just your local trailer park having a turkey burning bonfire. All hail to Ed and the crew at the Daisy Chain Tea Party Club Trailer Park, now at an all-time attendance level of SIX.

 

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Libya. . .Libya. . .”Hey, Let’s Call the Whole Thing Off”

Aww, nuts. The great white, black, mocha-lite hope seems to be dropping like a Perry.

We are about to “turn, turn, turn, turn” to a new season, turn, turn, turn.

My man, Herm, has gone and done it once again.

The question was quite simple. SO SIMPLE A 5TH GRADER COULD MAKE A GOOD GUESS.

Alas, not our Pizza man.

The question:

“Do you agree with the manner in which the President handled Libya?”

The answer?

“Libya. . . .Libya.” *squirm for a minute. “The president. . . .supported the uprising, right? Just wanna make sure we are talking about the same thing!” “squirm for a minute. “Libya, Qaddafi, right?” “I support the outcome, but not the way the President handled it.”

Whew, he figured he dodged that bullet. But then he went on.

“The reasons  he handled it wrong are: *pause and squirm some more*, oh that was a different one. I got so much swirling around in my mind.”

Would you like pepperoni or sausage?

When confronted with reporters later and asked to explain his failure to remember Libya, the former candidate grinned from ear to ear, and enunciated for all the world to hear: “9-9-9!” and stalked off.

In case you think I’m making this up, here is a transcript of the main portion, after the minute long squirm as he fought to locate Libya on the map of his pizza-sodden mind:

OK, Libya. [Pause] President Obama supported the uprising, correct? President Obama called for the removal of Khaddhafy. I just wanted to make sure we’re talking about the same thing before I say, ‘Yes, I agreed’ or ‘No I didn’t agree.’ I do not agree with the way he handled it for the following reason — nope, that’s a different one. [pause] I gotta go back and see. I got all this stuff twirling around in my head. Specifically, what are you asking me that I agree or not disagree with Obama?

Well, Herm is falling apart, and the lucky recipient is this month’s “New” Not Romney. Wait for it. NEWT!

Yes the Grifter is racing up the pile of bodies strewn along the road in a desperate attempt to be NNR (Newt NOT Romney).

Herm has been offered a life-time contract with SNL.

Meanwhile the Grio weighs in on the issue of how conservatives, both white and black, now engage in a game of “are you black enough“, reintroducing an a new edgy racism into the game. In case you didn’t know, Obama ain’t nearly black enough to count.  

I cannot say how lovely it is to contemplate that Newt is the new and rising savior. Rick Santorum can only be celebrating at this point, assured that come December his turn will come.

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Well, I just had to pop over to the Blaze to see what the nincompoops had to say:

BlueGoldNationDotCom:

He nailed the answer. So he stumbles at the beginning, IT IS FOR A NEWSPAPER. Why does a person have to have an answer in 15 seconds? Allow the man time to gather his thoughts. Once he did he nailed it.

I question the Blaze’s headline and the reasoning behind the wording….again

Don’t be late for your English language class now bud. Today’s word is REALITY, as in what one have you invented today?

SomeRandomPerson

Oh geez!!! This happens to everyone at one point or another. It’s called a “brain fart”.

And I randomly nominate you as having no brain to fart. See above for reality check.

Wayner

Dear Blaze, No matter how much you discreetly try to undermine Herman Cain,,, I’m not letting you influence my choice for president…. I realize you want to push the RHINO Romney,,, but I don’t like him nor do I trust him….. I’ll make my own decision thank you.

Bad Blaze, Bad, Bad. Wayner’s choice will be determined by throwing dem bones like all his decisions are!

Bought Your Silo Yet?

But, I have seen Herman Cain in the hot seat several times where he has done remarkably well. He is always very quick with a relative and thoughtful response. If he wasn’t so quick here it just tells me that he is the real deal. He is human and genuine.

Yeah, he has no clue so that makes him genuine? Genuinely incompetent. Tell, me do you look for the same type of doctor?

Mil-Dot

All Cain had to say was “that it was none of our business” and kept on that theme, but NOOOO. He had to somehow attempt to justify us poking our noses in it. Now he looks like an idiot.

I am of the firm opinion that every candidate should just say no. How much more interesting to vote in a vacuum. But there is always one of those upstairs in your brain case right Mil?

Bitter.Clinger

Gotta love the “journalists” who are more concerned about defending Obama and trying to entrap Cain than reporting on THE TRUTH. Journalists always claim to be asking “tough questions”…welll, “tough questions” are far different than asking questions with the intent of entrapping or tripping up someone on purpose. I’m no journalist, but I could ask far tougher questions than these clowns without trying to entrap the person I’m interviewing. The President of the United States has a Cabinet for a reason…if he ignores the input from his Cabinet (like Obama) he starts acting like a unilateral dictator (like Obama). Would you rather have a President who doesn’t listen to his Cabinet or We The People or one who does – Hmmmm? ROCK ON HERMAN CAIN!

Justin Bieber for President. After all, he don’t need to know a thing. That’s what a cabinet is for. What is so “entrapping” about “do you agree with the way the President handled Libya?”

ThePatriotDave

Considering that Cain is our best chance at defeating Obama I will get off this site and go and donate more to his campaign tonight.
You either want Obama gone or you don’t. If we elect Cain as our nominee, then Obama is out. With all of the other candidates it’s a crap-shoot.

And getting rid of Obama is really what it’s all about huh Dave. Forget the country, Mr. Patriot. Oh, I am all for what you are for. Please do make him the candidate!

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God Says TeaBaggers are Racists!

Listen Up! Let the Sunshine Trailer Park Tea Party meetin’ come to order!

Let’s have a big thanks to Thelma for offerin’ up her place for the meetin’. She’s got the only double-wide among us, and we are growing big folks. I could seven here today. Ain’t that sumthin’?

Anyways, we are here to discuss that interview given by Morgan Freeman, sayin’ that us Tea Party folk are a bunch of racists.

“Who’s Morgan Freeman?”

“Oh he was that nice actor who played in Driving Miss Daisy, remember? I thought he did a good job.”

“Well, a roll like that came pretty darn natural to him I suspect.”

“Hey he played God in Bruce Almighty! That was funny.”

“That was a comedy for heaven’s sake. That was part of the joke you idiot. Him being God. Ever heard of anything that dumb? That Michael Anjello painted a pitcher of God on that ceiling where the Pope lives. Now I don’t truck much with those Catholics, but I figure that Pope feller knows what God looks like!”

“Okay, okay, calm down everybody. Verna is passing out copies of the article in Blaze. Everybody take a read, and for those who can’t George will read it to ya in the back. Then we can discuss it.

Thelma says there are some cocktail weenies and Ritz crackers and good old American cheese in the kitchen if ya need a snack.

~

(**What follows are true remarks from real people who posted comments about the article–lest any more morons drop by and be unable to understand the concepts of parody and satire.)

THE10THAMENDMENT

  • Freeman used to be my favorite actor. Now he‘s become the same trash that Hollywood bimbo’s seem to always become. Sad. I just threw Independence Day in the trash where it belongs.
  • Had to do a quick change and save Independence Day, and toss Deep Impact
  • Yes moron, get your movies right. I guess when you get down to it, they do all look pretty much alike.

THOMAS

  • Why is it that blacks are only for blacks? Who would have ever thought that Morgan Freedman was a racist? When will we begin to shun black racism and make it a bad thing? Its time. Morgan I will never watch your movies again for the simply reason that you cannot see beyond your skin color.
  • Um, do you see anything racist in what you just said? Blacks are only for blacks? And while you are at it, try looking up the world racism, and you might discover that there is no such thing as black “racism”

MIBUGNU2

  • Who decided that 1 white mother + 1 black father = 1 black person I would say he is White, in Black Face.
  • Southern white men decided that a couple hundred years ago, when they declared that one drop of “black” blood disqualified a human being from having any rights. Go ahead continue pointing out how insufficient your education is.

CANYOUSMELLMENOW

  • I am a white middle age tea party member who wants pres. Obama out of office because of his pour performance. And i want mr. Herman cain to replace him. So put that in your “racist pipe and smoke it” mr. Freeman. I am tired of the black comunity telling me im a racist. 2 underqualified black men were given jobs i applyed for in my company, and guess what they could not handle the job, and when they finally offerd i said “no thanks” and found a job were my “actuall work expirerance” matterd. Why would i want to stay in that tipe of envire ment.. Have a nice day……………………………
  • No doubt the “job” did not include spelling or writing. Let me guess, you are not in favor of affirmative action? Why do all you folks use the term “black” and never African-American? 

INOGAWD

  • Was going to see Dolphin Tail this week-end,  But Think I’ll wait for it to come on Netflix..
  • Way to make a serious political statement dude! Wait for Netflix!

RIGHT_ON_THE_LEFT_COAST

  • Why can’t Hollywood actors just keep their mouths shut?!? I say that not because I don’t think they should be allowed to dialogue about politics — it’s just that they ruin it for all their fans when they do!
  • Yeah,  that dumb Ronald Reagan. Why didn’t he just keep his mouth shut. I’ve never been able to look at Gonzo or the Gipper the same since.

AVENGER

  • I will never watch a film where this racist pig is acting.Obummer is not black ,he is a mullatto that hates white people.This marxist half breed is destroying the USA.
  • You’re doin’ my job for me dude. Mullatto? You at least might try learning how to spell racist words.

WETMOUSE

  • I am a Tea Party fan. I want the “white” part of Obama out of Washington !
  • You guys are truly obsessed with this white/black thing aren’t ya?

GHANDI WAS A REPUBLICAN

  • Yes Morgan.. Couldn‘t have anything to do with obama’s false campaign that was a pack of lies to steal America’s vote. He was doomed from the beginning because he does not have the support of the electorate that was lied to and did NOT vote for this charlatan’s hidden agenda.
    I can name you three Black men that would wipe the floor with obama in a head to head election.
    1. Alan Keyes
    2. Herman Cain
    3. Alan West
    and there are many more that the truly racist left will die trying to destroy!

    But can you name me four? Naw, didn’t think so

ONESHINER

  • @Godfather1……… Alan Keys was too conservative and too black I guess, because his racist community didn’t support him, did they? Can this possibly be proof that color isn’t the real issue?
    I think the real issue is most blacks on welfare don’t want to lose their sugar daddy.
  • You guys do know that you are stepping all over each other don’t ya? Let me see the racist blacks who only vote for Obama because he is sorta black, won’t vote for Keyes because it’s not about race. But it’s now about welfare?

SWAMPY

  • The whole don’t be a racist **** is a scam. Sitting here and pretending we don’t give a damn, keeping our mouth shut, watching these sob’s destroying our cities, destroying our families, taking jobs they aren’t qualified for just because of their race, making the rest of us work twice as hard for less pay because we have the wrong color skin. While they gang together commit massive voter fraud, lie and threaten violence against old people and elect a foreign bastard that hates everything great about this nation, and wants to see us slaves to a bunch of his rich/socialists buddies.
  • Nice of ya to come out of that cave and really give us the low down. Don’t mince words swamp, let out all your ugly venom at all the folks who are keeping you down. You coulda been somebody were it not for “them.”

See ya next time, folks. It was a good D-skushun.

**There were 37 pages of this crap. I got all this off of the first 2.  

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Benjamin Button Be Damned

A couple of weeks ago, we watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Since then we’ve had a lively discussion about the relative merits of being born old and growing younger and the more conventional method of growing older. They both that their plusses and minuses.

Aging definitely has its down sides. I mean take eating for instance. One finally begins to appreciate food, and the old taste buds are wearing out.

If you don’t believe me, try eating someSpaghetti O’s and see what I mean. I mean seriously, yuck! But they were a real treat when I was ten.

I must go through a bushel of jalapenos every week. We add them to hotdogs and hamburgers, meatloaf and casseroles. I mean, I caught myself the other day engaged in this give and take:

Me: So what do you want for breakfast dear?

Contrarian: Oh, maybe just some Cheerios. I’m not that hungry.

Pause. . . .

Me: would you like a little chopped jalapeno in that?

You get my drift?

Food just seems blander all the time, and needs more pepper! I never used much pepper growing up, now I liberally twist that damn pepper mill with more vigor than a farmer wringing a chicken’s neck. On the other hand, I have less tolerance for salt I find. I find myself buying no-salt stocks and no-salt tomato sauce. Go figure.

Which brings me to just a little note. I made a fabulous southwest chicken salad yesterday, and we scarfed up the entire dish. I thought it would be too hot with a smoked jalapeno in adobe sauce and two pickled jalapenos, but it was just right. I’ll be posting on What’s on the Stove? the full details, so mosey on over if it sounds good to ya. I got the recipe from a lady over on Justapinch.

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Zander has a great take on the TeaNutz® historical twisting and turnings on the issue of Martin Luther King, Jr. It is amusing to listen to them now hail him as the “conservative Republican” who would have “hated” all things liberal. Not so many years ago, they were saying exactly the opposite. I good read.

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Months ago we were watching a show about learning about chimpanzee intelligence. Pursuant to that they showed a testing of small children in which they were offered a marshmallow but told that if they waited fifteen minutes, they would get two instead of only the one.

Well, that study was continued and the results of how these kids turned out as adults is in. The self-control kids, as you might expect, did better in life. But there are other surprising results from the study. About how we can exercise our willpower and enhance it. Good reading and you can decide if you might want to read the book that resulted.

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An amusing letter than might have (should have?) been sent to Speaker Boehner by WH chief-of-staff, Bill Daley, regarding the Thursday speech. comes from Beeryblog. Oh but we wish so much it had been. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.

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The Blaze is all a-tizzy with grave conspiracy theory swirling. The Prez, on his way via helicopter to Camp David, was diverted to a nearer airport and motored there due to “weather concerns” Now da Blaze cannot find any “weather concerns, so they wonder what could have been the “real” reason.

I figure Obama wanted to make a quick stop to introduce Sasha to Osama Bin Laden, who had been secretly closeted at the airport awaiting a big family re-union with all the O’s worldwide. The president was heard to remark that us O people, first name or last, are a small group especially when you consider the OB (ama) and OS (ama) coincidence.

 The two figure to be first cousins-seventeen times removed and can’t wait to meet in Madagascar on Tuesday, October 31 for the big barbecue ta-do. Auntie Katerina OK (ama) from Siberia is the matriarch of this disparate clan. The big O’s, Ladin and Barrack, are hoping to finalize plans to introduce the Muslim Brotherhood into state school boards in 2012. OW (ama), an uncle from Ecuador is working on the Sharia law angle, and figures most of the US will be under its control no later than April of 2012.

Captain Crunch, one of the nincompoops suggests this reason for the set down:

BS! This sounds like another secret meeting with Soros…just like his daughters ball game he never made it to, which game never happened, in the dark of the night. I can see his shiney white teeth and eyeballs glowing in the dark as he creeps around town with his cloak and daggar.

But EP46 thinks he has it all figured out:

Maybe to pick-up Larry Sinclair…….the Minnesota man who claims he took cocaine in 1999 with obama and participated in homosexual acts with him.

Secessionista is quite sure that it has to do with this:

He probably wanted to meet with the new black panther party leadership to urge them to unionize. And to learn how to kill Americans when they come for him. It’s a win win for them all.

But JamesR thinks it’s all got to do with the suspicious Marine who is standing at attention at the helicopter. We have vays of making you talk. . . .

Something doesn’t seem right. The marine’s coat is to long and does not fit right and his dress slacks are long enough for him to be walking on them. This picture may be of a kid. The copter flight would make it easier for Obama to get away from the office and head to Camp David. Americans need to insist on a tight belt and all future use of jets, and copters need to be grounded. Bama has an office in the white house and come to think of it, just about everything a family would need for a long weekend of relaxation.

Errr, there were six pages of this crap. Crazy is as crazy does.

Have a good one.

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We Got Yer God Particle. . .Maybe

Hey there Billy Bob, come on in. Sylvia is in the kitchen russlin’ up some fancy dip for the pork rinds. Heck I like ‘em plain myself.

Sorry we had to meet here today. Old Tom snuck in the trailer last night. I gotta get that door fixed. Anyway, he’s been sleeping under the trailer and just is full of fleas.

I set myself down on that sofa this morning and took to scratchin’ like a crazy man. Had to clear out and set off one of them bombs to clean it out.

Anyway, Margaret read all about this “God” thing. Has somethin’ to do with science. I don’t get it much, but she said we better discuss it. She’s in a real tizzy.

So set yourself down. Oh, not there, she said not on that chair, it’s full of cat hair and she ain’t had time to clean it off yet.

So anyway, there’s this big thing they call a collider over in Switzerland or some place. And they are shooting atoms around real fast and they think they are about to find this little itty bitty thing. Margaret called it a God piece, or something like Hogs Boone part-e-cal. I don’t see what all the fuss is about, but Margo is fumin’ about those atheist foreign scientists messin’ with our God.

She’ll tell you all about it here.

Swampy:  Posted on July 26, 2011 at 1:39pm

I don’t know, this just seems like a bad use of this technology, trying to prove the big bang. Like all the time wasted with the Hubble looking at empty pieces of space trying to prove the big bang, when the time could have much better been spent actually viewing objects that might teach us something valuable.

What objects would those be Swamp head? I am looking up your nose and so far, nothing interesting there. There are lots of empty pieces though, so I guess I see you point.

Islesfordian:  Posted on July 26, 2011 at 3:40pm

Another question is, will anyone outside the field remotely understand the theories involved and what is “discovered”? What proof will the layman be able to see that there is anything real to this? How will he know that these scientists know what they are talking about? Without practical proofs and explanations this will all just seem as relevant as a bunch of nerds arguing whether zombies ate brains to stay “alive” or just because they were compelled to.

Yeah dude, if it’s not understandable to a rhesus monkey what good is it? Everybody knows that. So mind explaining to me how your microwave works?

MomRules:  Posted on July 26, 2011 at 12:49pm

Why don’t they just search for God,they could find Him with a simple prayer instead of all this expensive nonsense.

Yeah, you should write them and explain that. They could have had a V-8!

AOL_Refugee :  Posted on July 26, 2011 at 12:39pm

There will be no answer, just more questions

Dumb science! They never know when enough is enough do they?

TwinspeedR:  Posted on July 26, 2011 at 12:29pm

Be careful where you tread, mister scientist man. The secular humanist viewpoint ends in tears, always has, always will because it tries to supplant God (over and over and over again).

The CERN facility is a modern day Tower of Babel, and we know how that ended.

Why you are so correct. I saw Isaac Newton in tears just the other day, and everyone knows that Albert Einstein cried at the drop of a hat. I also have heard that there are just too many languages being spoken at CERN. Nobody understands anybody!

Chigger:  Posted on July 26, 2011 at 5:07pm

@Grapes: How could finding this particle prove something positive about God? The article says they would prove the big bang theory  if they indeed find the particle. That theory seems to be against God.

It SEEMS that you are a homo sapien sapien, but looks are often deceiving. Proof once again that you can walk and talk without functioning  grey matter.

Independent American:  Posted on July 26, 2011 at 12:17pm

Scientists are looking for “God” in a particle? Truthfully, what they are actually looking for is an alternative to God. Men tend to find what they look for. If they don’t find exactly what they want, they will keep on looking or be forced to “redefine” what they do find to support their foregone conclusion, like global warming “scientists” did. Whatever they “find” will be hailed as the ultimate truth–if it fulfills their expectations. Their conclusions will be overly complex in detail, but basically simplistic in general.

Wait and see.

God exists all right, but not as a particle.

Pretty darn smart them scientists. Hey I think you have the makings of a first-class dissertation. Go ahead look that up and see what it means.  I’m sure you can get published in Horse’s Ass Monthly.

 

Sloburn:  Posted on July 26, 2011 at 12:10pm

I have decided – I do not exist.

Now lets see if the Frenches can prove I do.

Who are the Frenches?  I frankly don’t think you do exist. I sure can’t see you. I think you burned up.

Eschatologist:  Posted on July 26, 2011 at 12:09pm

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”

 So let me get this sorta straight? Are you saying that the universe should have been created at the end? Man there would be no place to sit down dude.  But I find there are a lot of angry people around the world. At last I know why!

Alps91:  Posted on July 26, 2011 at 12:08pm

Nobody is claiming that the God particle is God, what they are claiming is that it is what gives physical matter its physicalness, so to speak. It is the theoretical particle that gives mass mass and makes matter matter. It is not in any way supposed to change your view on God, its just a nick-name because it is the end-all-be-all of subatomic particles…

Are you insane? Give these people actual facts and their minds will overload! Can’t you see the steam coming out of their ears already?

RN Mom:  Posted on July 26, 2011 at 6:30pm

Since this study has been funded by European tax dollars, I would like to make this point: How come scientists are given a free pass on developing anti-matter? Given the qualities anti-matter theoretically possesses I wonder why the EPA or environmentalists aren’t up in arms about this? I mean, we can’t drill for oil without millions of permits and bureaucrats, we can’t build bulk head without the wrath of the EPA, we can’t even exhale without offending them- yet antimatter can be developed unchecked???? Where was the vote for this. I think everyone should have a say about what they are doing in the dark cover of caves.

What are those qualities oh wise one? As to the millions of permits. Wrong kiddo. Only 987,322, last time I checked!  You always want to vote on anything you don’t like. You never mention the word if you do. I vote that we vote about whether we should vote.  And tell me more about the caves.  Oh and be sure to tell me what hospital you work in. I’d like to avoid it if possible.

Well that’s it for this installment. As always, I remind you. These people have a legal right to vote. Scary ain’t it?

 

 

 

 

 

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Henry, They are Messin’ with the Word of God!

Hey ho, Ralphie, come on. Take a load off. Oh just throw that hot water bottle over there on that pile of newspapers. I took a little spill yesterday and landed on my hip. Damn kids in this park. You know as soon as you see them pull in with those trailers with wheels, they are no good lazy. Got them a passel of kids that sleep stacked up like sardines, and one of the little hoodlums left a bike on my lawn. I tripped over it coming home last night from Lou’s. I had a few beers, but that damn bike shoulda never been there. A double wide, now that’s a whole ‘nother class of people.

Anyway, Thelma called, and said that those Israelis were messin’ with the bible. I know we gotta support them and all, cuz of God,and end times and all, but a man’s gotta take a stand ya know?

Thelma is bringin’ Gert, and Jack is comin’ by with Arnie. Beer in the fridge, help yourself. Thelma is bringin’ something to eat. That woman can’t drink without stuffin’ her jaw, if you know what I mean. She broke my only kitchen chair last week with that wide rear of hers. And then Jack plugged up the terlit, but that’s another story, so don’t get me started.

Anyways, the Jews over there got them some computer “soft” ware that somehow, so they claim, can tell ya who wrote what. Says that it verifies pretty much what them elite “intellect-u-als” claim. You know those atheist God-haters and their crap that the bible, God forbid, was written by men. Well Thelma thought we should talk it out and decide about what to do, though I can’t figure out what we can do.

Anyway, I copied out some of the comments from the fine commenters over at the Blaze, to see if they had any ideas. You might want to look it over.

Posted on June 30, 2011 at 9:37am

The Bible is real from Old to New testament; (sic) you can’t have one without the other. Christ is the Saviour (sic) of the world and we are shut up to the cross to make a decision for or against Him. Ah the simplicity of belief and faith.

Troninthemorning: It’s nice to remain in utter ignorance isn’t it? So simple and easy. Just shut the old brain case and swim in stupid.

  • hauschild

Posted on June 30, 2011 at 9:47am

I can’t imagine a bigger waste of time and money. I wonder how much this one cost the taxpayer in grant monies???

Houschild: it helps if you read the article first dude. Why do you care what the Israeli taxpayers laid out?

  • Bearfoot

Posted on June 30, 2011 at 10:18am

All Scripture is inspired of God and beneficial for teaching, for reproving, for setting things straight, for disciplining in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be fully competent, completely equipped for every good work. – 2 Timothy 3:16

Bearfoot: okay, so what has that got to do with the price of beans?  And dude, the actual text says , “all scripture that is inspired” and don’t forget, that didn’t include the NT which hadn’t been gathered together yet.  Full steam ahead.

  • Anonymous T. Irrelevant

Posted on June 30, 2011 at 10:40am

I wonder what they‘d find if they ran it on all of Obama’s books?

Anonymous T. Irrelevant: I wonder what they would find if they ran it on your brain? Or any of your books? Oh I bet there aren’t any are  there?

  • Joseph28

Posted on June 30, 2011 at 9:44am

Anything beyond the old testament and the teachings of Jesus is just speculation amongst these scholars.

Joseph28: funny, they say the same thing about your intelligence. Pure speculation.

  • hi

Posted on June 30, 2011 at 10:48am

It’s pretty amazing how the Bible was written hundreds of years, but it has a beginning and an end and all of the middle fits together.

Also, 3/4 of the Bible is prophecy and Christ fulfilled 300 specific things written about him 500 years earlier.

Fulfilled prophecy is evidence of divine intervention. Man cannot predicted 300 specific things someone is going to do 500 years from now.

Hi: The bible wasn’t written “hundreds of years” sweetie, and funny, but humans have the ability to place books in order. You’d be shocked that the Jewish Scriptures (Old Testament to you) are in a different order.  I prophesy that you are nuts. Let’s see how I come out on that in 500 years.

  • NOBALONEY

Posted on June 30, 2011 at 9:51am

God spoke to the writters, and they listened.

Nobalony: was that critters? What proof you got there that they listened? Oh the words themselves? Is that circular reasoning? Do you know what circular reasoning is?

  • affinnity

Posted on June 30, 2011 at 10:13am

Let me see if I understand this – Israel needs Christian American dollars and moral support to continue to exist so they spend time and money inventing software that tells Christians that their entire faith is based on a fake book (the Bible). Why?

Affinity: now I’d say they are pretty darn smart wouldn’t you? Kind of like the Koch brothers, but on a larger scale.  And who said anything about fake?  Who first said it was the “word of God” tootsie?

  • Country

Posted on June 30, 2011 at 10:49am

Christians do not stone thier children. Shellfish is a food law because it is bad for our bodies. Just think, if we obeyed the food laws we would not have obamacare. ;)

Country: But some children still get stoned, and yeah, we’d all live to be 500 if we just didn’t eat shellfish. And pork, you must include pork. Satan sent us pork way back when, just to get  the Affordable Health Care Act. You are a moron Country, seek help.

 And so my dear friends, if you woke up feeling a bit on the dumb side, cheer up, you are way smarter than these folks. In fact, you might qualify as super human by comparison.

by

Well, That Settles That. . .NOT!

Hey Jimbo, come on in, mind that door handle, it’s hangin’ by a thread. Ralph is stoppin’ off to get some Bud and Velma wanted some of those little cocktail weenies. Me, I got a can of pork ‘n beans and pork rinds.

Just push that stuff offa the couch there, and oh, that towel, cover up that spot there when you sit. Little Jennie’s bladder ain’t so good any more, but it’s dry.

Did ya hear? The boy in the White House, he done put out a real honest to goodness birth certifiCATE. Looks all legal and everything. What do you think?

Oh, here is Velma and she’s got Hyacinth with her. Would you mind changing to the chair there Jimbo, Hyacinth will bust that thing for sure if she sits on it. Hey, and there’s Ralph.

Well, let’s get down to our D-scussion shall we folks. What do you all think of this birthy paper?

My Hero-Allen West-click my name

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 9:45am

Have to say he may have actually caused this to happen as he was not going to go away on the issue. But in the end what does it matter. Is the certificate real? We will never know as being the POTUS would certainty give someone enough pull to make things appear and disappear at will.

Yeah I hear ya Allen West butt kisser. What in the end does it matter? Course you been sayin’ it mattered more than anything else. There isn’t a thing that anyone could produce that would convince you after all. Being that Allen West is your hero. Need anyone say more?

　

mikem1969

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 9:51am

This is not the original birth certificate. His birth name was Barry not Barack, so once again this still leaves the same questions, where is his ORIGINAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE WITH HIS ORIGINAL BIRTH NAME?

Yeah Mike, where is the original? Where is your original? Are you a fake Mike? If you’ve never seen his original Mike, then how do you know what he birth name is? Mike, admit it, you were born in the country of denial.

　

Snowleopard {gallery of cat folks}

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 9:55am

Trump claims credit, and as predicted, the POTUS is using this matter to launch another set of irrelevent (sic) propaganda for his future destructive policies. Trump and Obama are BOTH progressives, and need to never be in the White House, or for Obama, never again.

Hey no time like the present to start a new conspiracy–Obama and Trumpy were in this together! Boy I do like the sound of this one. Conspiracies after all are free-floating ephemeral wisps of reality. Who predicted this? You? What exactly is the “set of irrelevant propaganda” you speak of? Come on admit it. . .you just hate him doncha?

randy

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 9:58am

Wake up people…..This was nothing but a side show put on by Obama.
And Trump was picked to play the lead role…
It’s not the real Birth Certificate. It is still only the Certificate of live birth.

I thought it was the long form you’ve been demanding? Oh, well it seems you have taken a sip from Snowleopard’s kool-aid. Is this really Wednesday? Or had Obama caused us all to sleep an extra twenty-four hours while he reset America’s clocks? I am suspicious I tell ya.

Blackhawk1

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 10:20am

Found something real interesting here.

How did Obama get a certificate numbered No. 151 – 1961 – 10641 and two twin girls were born the day after him and their numbers were No. 151 – 61 – 10637,No. 151 – 61 – 10638. Something stinks to high heaven here!

You are right, something stinks here. Did you put on any deodorant today? It’s all in the numbers. Hey, is your conspiracy numbered after the Obama-Trump conspiracy? Or is something stinking to high heaven about that?

Obama Snake Oil Co

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 9:47am

I would still like to know why it says race; African? I believe in the 60s, it would have negro……

Well, you just caught them red-handed now didn’t ya? And that would be Negro with no capital wouldn’t it? You little white trash in-ta-lect-chul.

ds7

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 9:51am

now he needs to explain his connecticut social security number. how he got into harvard? who paid for it? how does someone who is a lousy student go from occidental to columbia to harvard without ever accomplishing anything, and then become head of the student harvard law review without ever writing anything?

Yeah, and he sure better start explaining why he likes basketball better than baseball, and hamburgers which sound awfully European when you get right down to it, instead of hotdogs which are as everyone knows real American food. And while he’s at it, let him explain why he reads without his mouth moving. That’s a dead give-away of a NOT American.

Hadituptohere

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 9:57am

Where are the baby foot prints?

Preserved in the mud of a Hawaiian volcano of course. Geesh I thought everyone knew that.

GymCy81

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 10:41am

As a side question:
Did the typist of the certificate have the ability to change the size of the font?
Does it appear that the font size in the name row, is different than in the next row of information?

Perhaps a review and comparison of other certificates, at that time, could help to sort thru that question, and find the whole truth.

There are a lot more important issues and concerns in this country than this One.

Sherlock! you live! It’s a sure sign of a fake. Government typewriters don’t have font sizes! Somebody quick, analyze the ink!

buckj1013

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 10:14am

This again is the Cert of Birth and not the BIRTH CERTIFICATE. BC is much longer Dr name, etc; and is black background with white print from this hospital in 1961.

Right’o. Every knows its B before C except after. . .something. A certificate of birth is not a birth certificate. Anyone can see that!

US MARINE

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 9:33am

This is not the real BC – The real one notes Barry is a Caucasion, born of a white mother…

Are you a Caucasion (sic)? I thought it was supposed to be negro? Can you conspiracists all get on the same page PLEASE!

Fedup

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 9:56am

This one does not have the impressed seal… Just sayin.

His mother was 18. Perhaps that was what he was trying to hide. What was she doing at 17 years old in 1961 slutting around with a guy who was 8 years older?

You’re not a very good counter. Was she 17 or 18? Slutting? I think that maybe you are the slut. Just sayin.

chiefparker

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 9:58am

Now Mr. President, you’ll have to do something about that pesky “Natural Born Citizen” line in the US Constitution.

I guess you and all your law-degreeless friends will have to hash that out. Legal minds have real issues to contend with. Get a life.

redbone007

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 10:33am

Should the BC does not mention how much weight and size?

yeah, pretty fishy I’d say. How much does your brain weigh? Does it slosh a lot when you shake your head?

redbone007

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 10:38am

what a these numbers (low lighted, 8, 9, 9, 1, 0) next to the parents information?

Oh they are the numbers reserved for those not from this planet at all. In Hawaii 89910 designates the zip code for Sirius. Duh, everyone knows that!

Spooky George

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 11:09am

If this birth certificate was real it would mention he’s a communist. It’s clearly fake

I saw yours and it said, drooling idiot party.

branch manager

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 10:21am

This is not over by any means. We ain’t no dumy.

Yeah, actually I think ya are.

darkknight91

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 10:14am

Has anyone looked at the info on that thing? Besides the green pattern it’s printed on looking very strange, the serial number is later than the example shown on WND, yet his birth date is the day before said example. This is going to be fun…

Everyone knows that WorldNewsDaily is THE official place to go for truth. Here’s a flashlight DK, you’ve been in the dark too long.

Muetter

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 11:41am

Look how pristine that looks? That has never seen the light of day to be almost 50 yrs old with no signs of oxidation whatsoever! It can’t be real! (That will be the next conspiracy) Just sayin!

you betcha. And the Shroud of Turin–yeah, yeah, carbon dating! Get busy!

Charlie Justice

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 9:23am

Fine, but where was he CONCIEVED? Huh? Huh? Huh?

Now you are on to something there Charlie…Details, we want all the details…

American-first

Posted on April 27, 2011 at 9:28am

Why does the right side of this thing look as if something is missing? Not saying it is fake but what is going on?

You noticed that too? It looks like something should be there, doesn’t it…perhaps a pineapple or a palm tree? Or maybe a menu?

　As always folks, all the above comments come to you courtesy of Blaze, that bastion of enlightened discussion run by Beck and his thunderbutts. There were no less than three “articles” so their internet servers wouldn’t jam up I guess. Scary thought–these folks have the right to vote. 　

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