All the Wacky News You Might Have Missed

quicksand Well intrepid readers, I’m going into the void once again. That’s me sinking into the black hole via some nice quicksand.

I go where no woman has gone before.

I blaze the trail into the unknown, risking all to discover the truth!

I am the Restaurant at the end of the Universe.

I am WOMAN.

Oh, I got a little wound up there.

The Contrarian has become a fan of all the extreme right sites. It’s his form of comedy. It tends to make me swear like a sailor. But that’s me. I take fools seriously sometimes.

But I figured since none of you has the time to waste nor the emotional fortitude to not throw your laptop across the room, I figured I would give you a run down on what the crazies are saying. I know it’s a bit like writing a newspaper when all your journalists live in the asylum, but hey, we are in that let down, pending excitement of Christmas thru New Years, so it seemed damned appropriate.

Hey did you know Chuck Colson died this year? I must have missed that. Do you always say, “dang, I didn’t know he/she died?” when they run down those lists at the end of the year?

Oh, I digressed once again.

Anyway.

In an exclusive, WorldNetDaily informs us that that dastardly Muslim/Kenyan President of ours is the one behind Sen. Daniel Inouye not getting his dying wish. You know the one. Senator Inouye asked that Rep. Colleen Hanabusa to be his replacement in the Senate after his death. He asked this of Hawaiian governor, Neil Abercrombie. Instead the governor appointed Lieutenant Governor, Brian Schatz.

According to the WND, all was going according to plan to appoint Hanabusa when Obama “decided” to take the family to Hawaii for vacation. Unlike all the other years when the Obama’s woke up in Hawaii by mistake having planned to go skiing in Vail.

The proof that Obama is responsible for the change is that Schatz “flew back” with Obama, thereby proofing quite obviously that Obama told the governor to appoint Schatz. Schatz himself confirmed Obama’s hand in the pudding, admitting that they had a “brief chat” while flying back. I mean have they no shame at all?

Now the reason you ask?  Well, Schatz was head of the DNC in Hawaii in 2008, and he declined to request proof from the Department of Health in Hawaii that indeed Barack Obama was “eligible” to run for president. Hawaii requires a certification that a candidate is eligible, and then Speaker Nancy Pelosi had submitted that. The fact that she didn’t do so for any of the other 49 states is telling. Telling what we are not sure, but it’s telling us that maybe the other 49 don’t require that. But then maybe it was the proof that WND always claimed it was. Pigs fly and wombats were found in Antarctica yesterday.

Now stop drooling and read on.

Also from WND, we learn the real truth about the war on women. It’s never been waged by the Republicans! No, it was always a Democratic plot.

The proof?

The SON of a re-elected representative beat up his girl friend.

And several Democrats have had affairs.  (Newt is not a Democrat of course, and somehow his serial adultery is not important to this proof, since we are proving that Democrats have a war against women.)

And everyone knows that Democrats are in favor of abortion for ANY reason, even when it’s for gender selection, and that means baby girls are being aborted, and if that ain’t a war against females, I don’t know what is.

Republicans are not against renewing the Violence against Women act, they just were opposed to an amendment that made it easier for women to make charges of abuse by someone trying to get a visa. The Republicans were against this, for obvious reasons, and if you can figure out the word soup on that one, more power to ya.

Oh and the kid who beat up his girlfriend? Well his dad, the Rep. Moran? He’s in favor of Sharia law and the Muslim Brotherhood, and everyone KNOWS what they think of women. The proof of Rep. Moran’s favoring these things? Oh well, he is, take my word for it.

According to the Blaze, the President was hung in effigy by a Kentucky man, who gave his mannikin, a Obama mask, and had a section of watermelon in his hands. The man claimed he was only exercising his constitutional rights of free speech. His neighbors agreed, seeing nothing untoward about the whole event.

One of the blaze commentors, explains for all of us why there is no racism here.

There is no such thing as racism anymore. White people have collectively decided to give all people of color equal rights, it’s over and it’s been over for a long time. Just like woman’s rights men have decided to more or less relent on all of it. Just like with woman’s rights we (white men) could decide to take any of those rights away. We have that power but we don’t do it because we (white men) have for the most part left sexism and racism behind. The vast majority of white men are neither racist or sexist if we were then women would be barefoot at home in the kitchen and blacks would be slaves or at least second class citizens. There would be no border problem and the welfare state would be way smaller. If white men were what liberals say we are things would be way different. This guy has no power he can’t hurt anyone. By liberals own definition if he has no power he can’t be a racist. (From GuitarCarl who may have gotten his head caught in his guitar strings)

Well, I just want to shout a big old THANK YOU WHITE DUDES.

Speaking as a woman and all.

Gosh folks, I only had time for three. Just think of all the insanity out there that is still untapped.

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6 comments on “All the Wacky News You Might Have Missed

  1. lbwoodgate says:

    GuitarCarl is an example of the relics that still remain even today in the 21st century

  2. Ahab says:

    Ah, the Contrarian has discovered the jaw-dropping, stomach-cramping horror of far-right websites. I find that laughter and the occassional glass of craft beer make right-wing websites easier to stomach.

  3. I admire Contrarian. I couldn’t do it. I gagged throughout reading this post. I really don’t like sharing this planet with those neanderthals and lunatics. I wonder if their crazy, paranoid, racist and sexist thoughts act like crack cocaine for them.

    • Sherry says:

      I dunno Jean, but I’m in favor of slipping them contraceptives when they aren’t looking so they don’t breed. lol !END

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