Have I Got a Deal For YOU!

Hey, you like pallin’ around with terrorists? Ya like your socialist agenda? Are you tired of all that flag-wavin’ family values namby-pamby rhetoric?

Do your nether regions get all excited when the name Saul Alinsky or Van Jones is mentioned? Do you practically puddle over George Soros?

Do you like the smell of anarchy in the air, and thrill to the feel of a gas mask strapped over your face? Are you a liberal/socialist/commie/fascist/food-stamp lovin’/do-the-monkey-if-it-turns-you-on sort? Are you a SECULARLIST/atheist/hater of the Jesus as exemplified by the literal words from God Almighty secured in the King James Version of the Bible?

Are ya? Do ya? Do ya wanna be?

Then my friends, this is the bloggy for you! We can put you in a sharp little model of all of the above, with nothin’ down and years to pay.

Just a little test to see if you are really OUR kinda people.

  1. Does the name Reince Priebus remind you of a wet hotdog, or worse, a rinsed penis?
  2. If you met Newt Gingrich, would you be unable to resist poking his dough belly?
  3. Would you grab Sean Hannity’s pointy finger and break it?
  4. Does the mere mention of the name Dick Cheney cause you to run for the shower?
  5. Would you first question to Mitch McConnell be: “Can I see your turtle shell?”
  6. Would your first question to John Boehner be: “Do you really fart Cheetos dust?”
  7. Would you like to pull the stick out of Mitt Romney’s butt without or without anesthesia?
  8. Is George W. Bush starting to look tame by comparison?
  9. Are you sure that Ann Coulter’s gynecologist took one look and said she’d have to find someone else to treat THAT.
  10. Which two Republicans would you most like to see face off in a “fight to the death” bout in the Roman Coliseum?

I can’t do this all alone.

I know you think I’m a superhero, but really I’m not.

I get my inspiration from these folks:

  1. Juanita Jean’s
  2. Pass the Douchey’s
  3. Arts and Letters Daily
  4. Joe.My.God
  5. The Fifth Column
  6. The Grio
  7. We are respectable negroes
  8. Damp Squid
  9. Hansi’s Hallucinations
  10. OkJimms
  11. Republic of Gilead
  12. Snoring Dog Studio
  13. Woodgate’s View
  14. The Commentariat
  15. Think Progress

Those are the ones who feed my madness on a daily basis. There are many others. They are all to be found in the blogroll.

I thank them all. I condemn them all for my insanity.

Oh, and Bill Moyers is back on the air with a show called “Moyers and Company”. PBS is carrying him of course, times determined by where the heck you live. Find it. He’s always got people on who have actual answers, or at least know the right questions.

Other shows I find useful: (*WARNING*) Ignore unless you are a political junkie.

  • Chris Hay’s and his show UP on MSNBC on Saturday and Sunday mornings for 2 hours. Panel show where they actually spend some time on various issues and have some good guests. And I like Hays who is damn smart.
  • Fareed Zakaria’s show on CNN on Sunday (mid morning) He also gets great guests and has intelligent conversations about real issues.
  • Keith Olbermann on Current TV. Most nights at 8 I think. He’s having his usual contractual issues with the brass, and so his appearance is uneven, but he’s purely fun, and his “Friday’s with Thurber” are wonderful.
  • Morning Joe, MSNBC, mostly because I like the people and Mika keeps Joe in line.

What I am learning?

  • That even the GOP circus can get boring at times.
  • That Catcher in the Rye is not nearly as entertaining as The Great Gatsby was.
  • That the WSJ refused a paper signed off on by 164 climate scientists in favor of one by 16 climate deniers.
  • That Sheldon Adelson has way too much money, and is willing to spend it on his own political goals. (There is a 2008 exposé on him in the New Yorker Magazine.)
  • That we are never going to have government responsive to the people unless we get Citizens United constitutionally prohibited.
  • That I really don’t care a bit who wins the Super Bowl, and that means I can really just sit back and enjoy it.

Hey, I’m doin’ the best I can.

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18 thoughts on “Have I Got a Deal For YOU!

  1. # 9….. oh oh oh…. you are terrible! I was gonna have oatmeal for breakfast and now I cannot erase the visual of what her groin doc must view…. euhhhhhh

    #10 how about Karl Rove…. and this guy…

    http://valley.newhavenindependent.org/index.php/archives/entry/connecticut_cannibal_has_ansonia_roots/

    there is merit to the thought…… think about it… we could reduce food stamp usage… fight hunger… and end up with less Republicans. just saying.

    &thanks for the linky love… you are too kind :)

  2. [Are you a liberal/socialist/commie/fascist/food-stamp lovin’/do-the-monkey-if-it-turns-you-on sort? Are you a SECULARLIST/atheist/hater of the Jesus as exemplified by the literal words from God Almighty secured in the King James Version of the Bible?]

    I’m disappointed Sherry. How could you have left out faggot??!!!

    • Oh drat, I did leave that out didn’t I? And I left out you of my list of always reads too Moe, and I do beg your forgiveness. It was an oversight, pure and simple.

  3. I’m glad I wasn’t drinking something as I was reading your list. I would have done a nasal spray when I came to the one about Boehner farting Cheetos dust.

    And hey! Being condemned to insanity is more fun than the alternative.

  4. Love this post! And I’m one of you! Yeah, the image of Coulter’s pink parts put me off doctors, gynecology and pink parts. I don’t want to poke Newt anywhere. I want to punch him in the neck. Thank u for the links!

  5. I know, it’s all my fault, at least that’s what the wife always tells me. OK, on to more serious stuff: I’d like to see Michelle B and Sarah P fight to the death in the Coliseum only if it was flooded and turned into mud.

  6. Oh, boy, you just named a few of my top podcast listens! I’m especially happy that Bill Moyers is back. If he ran for president I think I’d vote for him.

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