Peering into the Pond

cagneyI’ve been feeling a bit embarrassed lately. I have said one thing and rather done another. If you don’t know, and there is no reason you should, I’ve made quite a thing of of bashing Twitter.

It seemed simplistic and self indulgent somehow. I was watching The View, the other day, actually listening to it as I computered. Elizabeth H. was talking about how she twittered, and Joy and Whoopie were pretty sarcastic. “Why would I care what you’re watching on TV?” And I was forced to agree.

Much of Twitter is just that, mundane, silly crap about our personal lives that are of no interest to anyone, not even our loved ones half of the time. So why am I there? Well, let’s say I have some reasons that make sense to me at least. And that is not the point of this post, so I’ll move on.

What came to mind from the discussion at least, was a question of just how narcissistic are we? Is this an American trait, or a human one? I frankly don’t know the answers but I have some observations.

One would have to conclude that we are narcissistic. You cannot blame it solely on those that dream up the devices and programs. We are the ones using them after all. And the more they dream up, the more we buy.

Whether it be Iphones, Twitter, Facebook, blogging, or any of the myriad of keeping in  touch programs such as IM, we are all thinking that somehow, we must keep in touch, and others must have instant access to us. That suggests a serious belief in self-importance. We can’t afford to miss anything, and people will wilt should they not have the ability to get our wisdom instantly. We must be able to be found!

I am old enough to remember when there were no portable phones at all, (gasp), and hours, yes hours might go by where someone might not reach me. Horror of horrors, I remember when there was no answering machine!

The need to be available 24/7 is hardly the worst of it of course. We are also quite sure that what we think and feel are so important that a significant number of people wait every day for us to “publish.” We (at least I) worry about who is visiting, how often, how many, and what they find interesting. I’ll deliver more of that! Some of us are addicted to it, some of us search for ways to grow our readership, some of us spend real money to do so.

I’m not sure what all this means. It certainly speaks to a need on our part to be heard, to be relevant and to be thought significant. We all blog for various reasons. Some of us do so as therapy, some for making friendships, some of us to display and offer our creative talents, some of us just because we are opinionated in the extreme. No reason is wrong, or trivial I would suggest.

narcissus

Does it suggest that we feel that we are special or that we want to feel special? Is the world so interconnected and thus so large that we feel insignificant and this is our way of crying out, “pay attention to me. I’m somebody.” Like James Cagney, do we stand upon the tower, about to die, but at least dying in the knowledge that we are the center of attention at last–”look at me Ma, I’m on top of the world.”

Part of this is no doubt tied to our Americanization of the terms “pulling oneself up by one’s bootstraps,” and “work ethic.” We are told, and have been since this country’s inception, that anybody with the will to work can make it. Thus, we began to define self worth on just that standard. Were we making it? Were we successful in comparison with X?

That became the rub, and I think caused the development of what I think is thoroughly American, the idea that the worst thing in the world is to be at the bottom of any category. We need to point to someone, anyone, (group really) as less than we are. We cannot be failures as long as we aren’t at the bottom of the heap.

It has resulted in some of the ugliest racism, sexism, ethnocentrism, and other isms known to humanity. We seem to move from one to another as needed. Since it is no longer acceptable to exhibit our racism against African Americans, we now turn to Mexicans, and Muslims. We no doubt will turn to another group when those become socially unacceptable.

Perhaps them, the opportunities offered on the Internet for anyone to express themselves works to end these “ism” methods of feeling okay about oneself, in favor of the opportunity, no matter how silly, to feel that somebody cares what we think.

I think these devices also serve another purpose as well, and one that makes them very valuable indeed.

We need travel little to see all manner of nut cases. Of course, to a degree, that is subjective. Your nut case might not be mine. But you’re reading this, so I can assume that to some extent we share philosophies. I’m talking about the wacko religious right, the Limbaughs, the Hannitys, the border patrol vigilantes, the creationists, and young earth proponents, the homophobes, the Palin backers. The list is long.

There are times, when we can conclude that, given these folks, the planet is doomed, society is dying, hope is gone. How can we overcome this much dry rot? Human genetics must be on a downward slide turning back to the slime pond.

Yet, the Internet, blogging especially has proven to show us something quite different as well. An amazingly huge number of people who deliver mail, make cars, nurse in hospitals, troubleshoot electronics, edit books, raise hogs, and otherwise do all the mundane or not so mundane things in life, have another whole side to them.

They are artists, writers, poets, painters, quilters, knitters, theologians, and shocking of all things, just deep thinkers! They do this for fun, not money for the most part. They do it to express themselves, and to express often a deep and abiding care for the planet and those who live upon her. They are our salvation and the repository of our hope. And mostly we wouldn’t know about them, but for the Internet and its wondrous means of communication.

Are we narcissists? Most assuredly I would say yes. Is it bad? Partly yes, and partly no. Like most things, it’s uncertain. Hey, don’t look to me for answers, I just ask questions, and offer my two cents. And that said, I’m off to my twitter and see who new has just started following me! I must be somebody!

calvin-hobbes-motivation

Bookmark and Share

Advertisement

14 comments on “Peering into the Pond

  1. You make some very good points and, yes, I do think Americans are largely narcissistic. That attitude is almost necessary to bolster the American belief system in general, that everyone is unique (if everyone is unique, what’s unique about that), that anyone can have/do/be whatever he or she sets his or her mind to and that we’re “entitled” to something.

    As you already know from reading my post today on the same topic, I consider Twitter and Facebook to be silly and self-indulgent. It can also be destructive to substantial social relationships. The group dynamic on those sites is largely adolescent. I have no illusion that anyone is interested in all of my activities or my thoughts. At the end of the day, I’m no one special.

    As it should be…

    Americans could use more travel. I agree. Seeing how other people live and believe certainly changed my life. It’s put things in perspective.

    ~*

  2. yes, yes, and yes. I especially am heartened by all the thoughtful folk out here that I just didn’t know existed. seems like you can find bigots everywhere as they are so loud. and I will follow you if you follow me ;)

  3. Hi, Sherry. I have spent the last few minutes playing catchup on your blog posts since I went AWOL, despite your statement that I need not do so (thanks for visiting my most recent post.) Although you just wanted to lighten my tasks, which I appreciate, I was in the habit of reading your posts every day, and intend to continue to do so.

    I enjoyed your post about the craziness in Texas. Even though I am a Texas by birth, I did not take umbrage; your views and mine are quite alike. You and the Contrarian probably don’t want to come to Arkansas to retire, either, although there are some beautiful places here, and we have all four seasons — without the blizzards. If Texas goings on make you froth at the mouth, you would lie on floor kicking and screaming over some Arkansas shenanigans. :)

    Hope the snow is gone and you’ll have a great week.

  4. Sherry….at first glance, I thought your post’s title was “Peeing Into the Pond”. I wondered what you were up to with that!! Sorry.

    I don’t do Twitter…..it sounds idiotic to me, but as you say, maybe some people have a crucial reason to do it.

    I’ve been thinking on this lately……all the people expressing themselves now through blogging. Its a revolution of sorts….being able to put our thoughts out there in the world. I think it a bit akin to the printing presses being invented and and scriptures, etc. being translated into everyday languages and then everyone started reading for themselves. They were suddenly able and allowed to do it, and so naturally they were drawn to do it. Same with blogging. It just jibes with human nature…..whether that be necessarily narcissistic or not, I don’t know.

    I guess I spent so many years taking in everyone else’s thoughts through reading and TV, etc., that its a treat to be able to reverse that a bit.

  5. Since we’re approximately the same peer group, I can relate to the changes in communication as you describe them, Sherry. Another loss I lament in this mix of always having to be in contact is the loss of silence, an inability to be alone.

  6. Chani, you make valid points. Misused, any essentially anonymous technology can be very damaging to relationship building in a true sense.

    I took considered twitter to be silly. I didn’t expect ever to indulge in it. But I’m gathering, person by person, new people, and some make opt to come here and join this conversation, and I think that is a good thing, since the broader the mix the more actual good information comes forth.

    Additionally, it is a good way to promote good blogs, posts, etc that don’t in and of themselves warrant a full post.

    I thought your post made much sense. I just think that it’s important to realize that there are good points as well.

  7. lib. My point exactly. The news tends to dwell on the negative and on the wingnuts. It’s just been amazingly wonderful to see how many truly creative and thoughtful people there really is out there!

  8. Pat your thoughts are always welcome. I enjoy your wonderful pictures so much. I wish you wrote more, since you are quite handy at it as well.

    I just didn’t want you to feel the”tit for tat” kinda thing about blogging. We all have our reasons for doing it, and have our needs and expectations about it. We don’t all necessarily agree or need to. I’m always pleased to see you as you know.

    And yes, we have discussed the possiblity of Arkansas. We have actually even seriously thought about Texas since we agree at least that at least then we can counter a voter of the opposite persuation. It’s not so useful for all the “good” guys to be in the same states!

  9. BE, I find that it is essential to carve out real silence and real aloneness. In good weather I trek up the hill to set alone with just natures sounds. I never could understand walking outside with a earphone plugged in. LOL.

    Most of the spiritual people I know insist on some time every day to be alone. Only in the silence can we truly hear I find.

  10. Jeannelle, you are not the first to have misread the title of this post! LOL. I got an email, that is described in today’s post. It was so funny. So we all got a laugh.

    You are so right about the computer being a revolution of ideas. It simply has exploded our thinking around the globe. We are increasingly relating to people from all different cultures, learning that they are no different than we on the essentials.

    Who would have thunk that a dairy farmer would be an exquiste photographer and writer like yourself? LOL. Just kidding. I so love your Garrison Keillor kind of reverie about life on and around the farm. You are one of my first blogging friends and I’m still enjoying your work so much!

  11. Boy, now I feel bad commenting which is, in and of itself, a narcissistic act. Oh, who am I kidding. Like all things, narcissism can be used for good or evil. I like the idea of selling a swift kick in the butt. There’s big money just waiting to be had!

  12. Yep Randal, I’m always looking for a way to make a buck. I keep waiting for people to send me money for this, but so far, the jar remains empty!

    • Shilo, for some, no doubt that is true. But most of us develop a need for feedback too. So for most I would say, it helps to be “public”. Blogging is more than journaling, if you want it solely for that you can keep it private and nobody can visit.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s