Calling All Israeli Plumbers!

There is nothing sadder than an idiot who is unaware that he is one. Said deluded persons often get in everyone’s way, sure that they are as brilliant as they think they are.

Such is the case with our old friend, Joe the Plumber, otherwise known as Samuel J. Wurzelbacher. Now, poor Sam, aka “Joe” might be helped if those around him would honestly tell the plunger guy that he is basically an uneducated and unthinking dolt, but alas, they do not.

Nay, rather, they encourage said brain dead individual, and apparently have convinced him that he actually has a future in the public arena. His latest foray you ask?

Why it seems that some right wingnuttery website is actually sending our toilet fixer to Israel of all places to “report on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict occurring in Gaza.  He’s gonna give us the “average Joe” perspective you see. Yes, and in a few short days, he will have figured out all this killing and stuff and will give us the definitive conclusions that his drain unplugging brain has figured out.

It was just the other night that the Contrarian and I were watching Bill Moyers Journal. Bill was talking about The Onion, the famous online newspaper which satirizes so much of the current news. And from there, he eventually went to a story that was one he defined as a story that one would assume was straight out of satire. Alas, it was fact.

And that is where we find ourselves this day with Joe and his correspondent’s job. The dude is supposed to be writing a book, supposed to be thinking of running for Congress, and who knows what else. Perhaps Hollywood has called and offered him a starring role in something as well. Gone seem all those hopes he allegedly had of running a successful quarter million dollar plumbing business.

I mean, really. If aliens are monitoring our broadcasts, they must be laughing their fool heads off, however many they have, as well as planning a cleansing operation on planet earth. “We gotta rid that pretty planet of those vermin humans and then it will be fit for habitation.”

How can people foster that moron’s growing dreams of grandeur? How can anyone HIRE him for anything? Do people still have money to throw away or something? Lord, next Fox will be knocking on his penthouse door offering him a job with a one-hour slot of time to give his opinion on the state of the world. I mean, that wouldn’t be a reach for Fox after all.

I shake my head, and just wonder. Here I am, with a brain that actually has been noted to be of average or above abilities. I am more than willing to speak out on any subject anybody wants to give me. I won’t bother with a lot of research, but I will do some at least. Just send me money, and I’ll be happy to pontificate, and I can damn well tell you, I can make it  a lot more interesting and coherent than anything Joe can produce in his lifetime.

Just get my visa in order, and send me on my way. I’m ready to interview, say middle aged married women in Israel, to get their opinion on the necessity of the Gaza war. I am ready, just send me the check!

And a H/T to Break the Terror.

List Happy Person

Nothing much makes me as happy as finding something that makes my life easier. If you didn’t know, I’m rather a lazy soul, preferring to spend time grousing about things rather than being engaged in tasks that seem to repeat themselves with mind numbing regularity.

One of my major complaints is that it’s hard to remember everything when I go shopping. Since we shop irregularly, and weather often does prevent a run to even the local tiny “store,” it is extremely annoying to miss items when we do get into the big store.

I’ve tried all kinds of tricks. I keep lists available in multiple rooms and try to merge them into a larger list before the actual shopping foray. I make major “master” lists on the computer and then print the pages and check off those items I want to purchase this time around.

The latter method works, but at the expense of having multiple pages of paper, much of which is wasted. My dream was to have a master list wherein I could check off just the items I wished to put on an actual store list and print out that. Alas, I’d had no success in locating such a program. (Yes, I’m sure a normally gifted computer savvy person could figure out how to do this in wordperfect, but I’m not that person!)

Anyway, I figured it was worth a try to see if I could google such a program. Low and behold, I found one! Now there may be more, but I got this one to work as I wished, so I see no need to go further. Without further ado, if you are delighted and salivating at the opportunity to engage such a program for your own uses, please follow this link.

I have enrolled and started my master list. I have created a secondary list, and checked off a few items off my master list, and voila`, I have an actual shopping list! Although created for groceries, I’m reasonably sure you can adapt it to a more general list for other things, such as days when you have tons of errands and want to make sure you don’t miss anything.

Your master list will of course, run to perhaps dozens of pages, but when you select only the checked items to copy over to a new list which you print, you’ll be down to a page or two in all likelihood. Much more responsible with xerox paper!

It will undoubtedly take a long time to create the master list, but the add process is relatively easy and quick. I was able to figure out how to negotiate around without much help. You can edit, delete, and so forth easily as well. I plan on spending a few minutes per day adding to my master list as I think of items. What a wonderful help it will be. I hope some of you find it useful as well.